CHAPTER TWELVE: THESE DREAMS

That night, I had a dream that I was a middle-aged man who had never been to Japan in his entire life.

 I liked to call myself "Andy."

 I was good at whiskey, bad at fishing, and had a suitcase in the back of my closet filled with old manga I'd never admit to owning.

 I was walking through a place called the Meadowbrook Mall, but this mall was full of hallways with flickering neon lights, glistening water fountains, and it stretched on for miles and miles.

 I walked around the mall, trying to find my way out, but I just kept going deeper and deeper.

 "Looking for something, you naughty American boy?" a familiar voice asked me.

 I nearly jumped out of my skin and turned around.

 There she was, standing beside an old record store.

 An old song was blaring from inside, sounding distant, slow, slightly distorted, but I recognized it.

 Hall and Oates. Out of Touch.

 Lana.

 She grinned, her amber eyes flashing for a second with mirth and mischief.

 She looked at me like she was deciding whether or not to let me in on a joke.

 "So, what do you think, Andy?" she purred. "Or should I call you Ryu now? Does this feel real to you? Or am I just your guilty conscience in a fox costume?"

 I frowned. "What are you – " but I stopped.

 My voice… a mix of old and young.

 "Shhh, listen." She held up a finger.

 I heard the song, the chorus, distorted but I could understand every word.

 You're out of touch. I'm out of time.

 "Lana," I shook my head, tired of her games and riddles. "Why are you doing this?"

 My voice, mixing with Andy's, or Ryu's?

 It sounded as distorted as the music playing around us.

 Then, the music slowed and stopped.

 The neon lights stopped flickering.

 I could hear their soft, static hum.

 And then Lana's grin grew.

 Her eyes lit up, as though I'd just said the funniest thing she had ever heard.

 And she laughed.

 "Me? Andrew-san. This was your idea."

 I stepped back like I'd been struck by a blow.

 "Me?"

 She giggled and nodded.

 "You. I liked your idea. A realistic, nuanced look at what it would be like. I changed a few things here and there, but everything you've done has been you…"

 She tilted her head, studying me.

 "What do you think?"

 "What do I think? Lana! What did you even do?!" I yelled.

 She didn't say anything.

 She didn't have to.

 She just took a step forward and the neon lights overhead flickered.

 Suddenly, I was standing before her.

 No.

 It was more like the entire mall shifted beneath my feet and moved me closer to her.

 "You act like I forced you into this," she said. "But let's be real, Andrew-san. American boy, I just… helped."

 My eyes grew wide as a flash of memory played before my eyes.

 Me. Sitting in my recliner.

 Feet on the coffee table.

 Piles of manga spread on top.

 Thinking, What if it was real?

 Me, sitting with a comic in my hand. "I wish I could see it. I'd really like to see what it'd be like if it were real."

 My stomach twisted.

 No. No, no, no!

 I tried to swallow, but my mouth felt dry.

 She wasn't laughing. She wasn't smiling anymore.

 She nodded.

 "Did you think you were the only one?" she asked. "I liked your idea. What do you think?"

 She leaned forward. Just enough to make me uncomfortable.

 "What do you think of your youkai girls?"

 I shook my head.

 Shion, her fangs at my throat.

 Then begging me to forgive her.

 Yuki's breathless whisper, asking to come with me.

 "What if this were real?"

 "Naughty American boy… Now you know."

 I woke up feeling something brush against my face. I woke up just in time to see a flash of orange before it disappeared.

 A fox tail.