Chapter 53 : Kalawarner's
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Standing up and dusting my hands off, I turned to fully face her and said, "Your commander left you out to dry.
Kokabiel used you and then threw you away. You have no past anymore. No obligations. No one in your corner.
What are you going to do? Use the opportunity created by that or wallow in self-pity?"
Kalawarner's eyes widened as she said, "Are you actually trying to recruit me into your peerage? Are you that desperate?"
Chuckling, I said, "Frankly, I don't know. I thought I'd be able to figure it out by talking to you, but so far I haven't seen anything I'd want in my peerage.
Just a bunch of empty threats, deflection and defeatism. My peerage isn't very large right now, but three of us were able to pull off a hostage extraction mission in the Tepes Estate.
You know how? We don't complain about things that don't matter, we keep moving forward and we work together.
That's really all there is to it. If you don't want to be a devil, if you don't want to be in my peerage, if you're afraid of walking a path where you don't blindly follow orders, then I'm not going to reincarnate you.
Feel free to take your chances on Earth or with Serafall. Consider this your olive branch. If you want me to give you a chance, this is your chance to explain why I should.
If not, tell me to screw off or just don't say anything. I'll tell Serafall to cut you loose on Earth to make your own way." I held her gaze, waiting for any form of reaction.
Kalawarner's breathing grew erratic, but she maintained her silence.
I shrugged. "I guess that's that. I'll have Serafall drop you on Earth. After that, you're on your–"
"I'm a weapon!" Kalawarner blurted out, the surprise on her face showing she didn't know why she was talking.
I looked at her, waiting for her to continue.
Kalawarner's breathing was coming in huffs and puffs now, the blue-haired Fallen seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating. "I was a weapon.
Even when I was a pure angel I only ever existed to fight. I was given a target and told to kill or be killed.
Is it any surprise I started to enjoy my work and fell when I became sadistic?" Kalawarner was slowly increasing in volume as she spoke, her shoulders shaking ever so slightly as she took small steps towards me.
"I thought I'd finally found a home in the Grigori, but even among other Fallen I couldn't fit in.
I was either too focused on my job or not lazy enough. There was no pleasing any of them, so I just kept doing what I did best – I killed.
I killed and killed and killed and killed and killed! Was it ever enough? No! I am tired of being a weapon! I am tired of doing what is expected of me and still not being good enough! So tell me, Riser, will I not be a weapon again?
Your weapon? Can you promise me that? Or are you just the same fucking bastard with a different pair of wings!"
Her last words were bellowed right in my face. She'd closed the distance between us during her tirade and was now close enough that she could create a light spear right through my chest if she wanted to.
Looking the fuming woman in the eye, I said, "Would you have to fight in my peerage? Yes. Would I expect you to kill my enemies? Most definitely.
Am I the same as those pricks that work their people to the bone then complain when they have no muscles left to work with? No, and fuck you for saying so."
That actually seemed to get through to Kalawarner if her shocked blink was anything to go by. "Let me tell you something about leadership.
Actual leadership, not what your arrogant dickhead of a boss passes for it. If you're supposed to lead someone, to tell them what to do and when to do it, you had better be doing twice what you're asking them to do." Now Kalawarner just looked confused.
"When I was banished, do you know what the first thing I did was? I traded away the single most valuable thing I'd ever possess to make sure my peerage had a place to sleep.
Every night while my peerage sleeps, I push my regeneration into overdrive to rest my body while I train.
And every day I eat breakfast with them, I don't let the cramps my regeneration couldn't fix show.
I don't let myself yawn because then they'd know something was wrong. Soon, I'll be asking them to face down your psychotic boss, and I need to make sure I'm equipped to see them through it.
That is the kind of bastard I am, Kalawarner. I'm the bastard doing everything in his fucking power to make sure I don't let my people down, but still afraid he'll fail anyway.
Now that that's answered, what kind of bitch are you?
The kind who blames everything and everyone but themselves for their problems, or the kind who grits her teeth and comes back swinging, to hell with the consequences?"
Kalawarner was stone-faced as my words washed over her. "I'm the kind of bitch that kills my problems."
"Really? Because what I saw when I walked in here was a frightened little girl who was just waiting for the end.
You say you kill your problems? Then what are you waiting for? Kill them." I goaded her.
Kalawarner sharply exhaled out her nose, her eyes boring holes into mine. "You said you'll be fighting Kokabiel. Will you take me with you?"
"I'll take my peerage with me, but I'm not going to reincarnate you for the sole purpose of fighting Kokabiel. If you just want to fight him, I'm sure Serafall can work something out with you."
Growling, she said, "I will not be the Satan's fodder. If you help me take Kokabiel's head, I will serve you for all time."
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