Resentment

Within the tiny space of the room, staying in one position, I began to dance following the routine I knew.

My mother watched me from the bed. "Back straight, slow, careful and gentle footsteps," my mother gave me some pointers.

I did my best to follow her instructions.

"Nice." She complimented me.

My mother laughed. "You've gotten so much better at dancing," she complimented me.

"It's because I have a good teacher," I reminded her.

"You're right," she said proudly, not being humble.

My mother was the one who taught me how to dance. Though I wasn't as good as her I did my best to learn the dances. We used to do it together all the time. I loved it when we did. I wished I could dance with her again. Now she could only watch me.

I changed out of the dancing attire and got ready for bed. I snuggled next to my mother on the bed. I then felt her hand on the back of my head. The gesture was meant to be comforting but it instead filled me with worry since her hand felt bony. I was reminded of her illness.

It was a shame I couldn't get my mother the proper care she needed. With a proper doctor and medicine, she might actually get better, but my salary all went to Madam Kona who didn't care about my mother's health.

"Goodnight my little bird," my mother then said as she caressed my hair. Hearing that did put me at ease though. Since, I was a little child my mother has always called me her "little bird". It was her nickname for me. Throughout all with my mother was the only time I felt at peace. The only time I felt safe and free. I feared a time I wouldn't be able to anymore.

"Goodnight," I replied.

 As I waited to fall asleep, suddenly all my worries came flooding back in. All night I had been trying to keep my thoughts at bay, so I enjoy my time with my mother, but Madam Kona kept coming to mind.

 What am I going to do? How was I going to get us out of this hell?

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I was in the middle of doing laundry with some other maids at the Teman's estate. A few days had passed since my initial meeting with Madam Kona telling me the new rules of our arrangement. Since then I had been thinking of how I could increase the amount I made to 500 Tenra. There was no job I could get to make that amount. I only made 90 Tenra working at the manor and 30 at the restaurant. Even if I could work as a full-time servant at the manor I would only make 180 Tenra which wasn't even close to half the amount.

Mind you 180 Tenra was a lot of money, that could sustain a whole family. The most money a commoner could make was by serving nobility. No matter how I looked at it I had to become a courtesan. There was no other job I could get to meet Kona's demands. It's what Madam Kona wanted and was counting on, I'm sure.

Actually, when I first took on my mother's debt I had offered to take her place and become a courtesan but my mother fought against it.

If it weren't for my mother's request, I would have already become one.

Now I knew Madam Kona was lying and making up numbers about the debt my mother had incurred. My mother had been a courtesan up until four years ago when she got sick. However, she was the most popular courtesan at the time. For over 2 decades she had been the most expensive courtesan to book, only wealthy nobles could have her and they would pay generous amounts. She made Madam Kona a lot of money for over 2 decades, thousands upon thousands of Tenra.

There was no doubt in my mind that my mother must have made well over the amount she owed but she had no way of knowing. The money went straight to Kona's pockets each time a customer booked her. She never saw or knew what amount was paid.

Kona took advantage of my mother and now she was planning to do the same with me, but we had no power to confront her. Kona had bodyguards all around the brothel to keep the courtesans in check. They took care of anyone who misbehaved. There were many tales of courtesans that had suddenly "disappeared" or died under mysterious circumstances.

Now, of course the situation my mother was in was not normal. Not all courtesans were indebted to her. In general, courtesans belonged to the brothel house they worked for their entire lives. Which was sad. However, when they were no longer able to work due to sickness or age the owners would let them go or make them helpers in the brothel.

My mother instead, was locked up in an annex when she became sick due to the debt. She had incurred the debt due to a situation that had occurred 21 years ago. When she had me. Aside from age or sickness, the only other way a courtesan could be freed from a brothel was if she was bought out by a customer.

From what I had been told and heard growing up, at that time among her customers, my mother had one customer that favoured her. This customer would only come in to see her, would pay a lot and bring gifts. Before long, my mother would fall in love with him to the point that she believed he was going to buy her out. In fact, he told her he was going to buy her out.

My mother grew excited and patiently waited for him. However, he never did and one day stopped coming to the brothel. On top of that she became pregnant with me.

Madam Kona was furious with my mother. Firstly, for getting pregnant as that lowers a "courtesan's value" and for being so confident she was going to get bought out. She resented my mother for that ever since and never forgave her for the last 20 years.

So my mother was trapped at the brothel with no way out and soon I would be as well. For now, I was a free woman but once I was put on the courtesan registry I would belong to Kona then I could never leave.