Chapter 3

Billie.

Armed with my cleaning supplies and a questionable amount of determination, I marched into the penthouse, only to be greeted by two abandoned glasses and an empty whiskey bottle sitting on the table like relics of bad decisions.

I glanced around. Nope. No signs of a woman. No lipstick-stained napkins, no stray earrings, no ominous high heels waiting to trip me. Aside from last night's mess, this place screamed "lone wolf" rather than "bachelor with a social life."

Wait. Could he be… gay? That brown-haired guy he was with last night—was that his boyfriend? I mean, I haven't spotted a pride flag or a single pair of rainbow socks in his wardrobe, but you never know.

I shook my head. Focus. Cleaning. Not speculating about my insufferable boss's love life.

I crept toward his bedroom, easing the door open like I was in a horror movie and expecting a jump scare.

There he was—Lexy, a.k.a. Mr. Knight in Pervert Armor—sprawled on the bed, dead to the world. Peaceful, almost. If it weren't for the way his brows naturally arched into that villainous shape, I might have thought he was a decent human being.

"Rise and shine, your highness," I said. No response.

Okay, fine. We're playing that game? I clicked the button near the curtains, letting in a flood of sunlight. Still nothing.

Oh, so that's how we're playing?

I grabbed my spray bottle, misted the air like I was summoning spirits, and then, for good measure, swatted him with my cleaning towel.

"Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you, weirdo?!" he groaned, jerking awake like he'd been electrocuted.

"Oh, I didn't see you there," I said sweetly, my voice dripping with fake innocence.

Revenge was a dish best served with disinfectant.

Lexy rubbed his face, clearly contemplating every life decision that led to this moment. I took that as an opportunity to spritz him again.

"Hey! Stop it! Back off, you little pest!" He flailed, yanking the sheets off himself—

And that's when I saw it.

Morning wood.

A very… healthy morning wood.

Oh. Oh. Well then.

My brain short-circuited. Years. It had been years since I'd been in the presence of such an… event. Alex was the last man who made my toes curl, and damn him and his wife Chelsea for getting married and leaving me in a drought.

Lexy caught my stare and scoffed. "Never seen an erection before? It's called morning wood, not 'inexplicable attraction to a housekeeper who won't stop harassing me.' Get over it, pest."

And with that, he strutted—strutted—to the bathroom like he wasn't standing at full attention.

I needed to get my priorities straight. One: stop ogling my boss. Two: remember that he's an arrogant jerk. Three: stop ogling my boss.

Too late.

Before I left last night, I overheard them talking about a bet—one that could change my life.

If Mr. Knight in Pervert Armor manages to tolerate me and not fire me, he wins a car and two mega mansions. But if he cracks under pressure and kicks me out? His friend will hand me one million dollars.

One. Million. Dollars.

Do you know what I could do with that? Pay off my mountain of debts, enroll in those discounted acting classes down the street, and finally stop eating instant noodles like a struggling college student.

This isn't just a bet. This is my golden ticket.

Which means…

I must make sure Mr. Knight loses.

It's time to unleash maximum chaos.

~~~~~~~~

Lexus.

As I showered, I couldn't stop thinking about the little gremlin I now call my maid.

All I wanted was a graceful mermaid, the kind that sings by the river, making life peaceful. Instead, I got a fish from a swamp—the kind that slaps you in the face with its tail and smells like bad decisions.

Dane said I have to survive a week without firing her. Fine. But he never said I couldn't make her life miserable. She woke me up like a demon exorcism gone wrong—it's only fair I return the favor.

I strolled into my room and found her yanking off my sheets, completely absorbed in her music. Perfect.

Without hesitation, I grabbed a pillow and launched it at her head.

She dodged like a ninja, then turned around and stuck her tongue out at me like a smug little gremlin.

I nearly laughed. Nearly.

I grabbed my coffee mug as the maid mopped the kitchen floor. Without a second thought, I kicked over her bucket of water.

"Whoops," I said, feigning innocence.

"Argh!" she muttered through clenched teeth.

Satisfied, I sauntered to the counter, grabbed the table salt, and poured it all over the surface. Then, for good measure, I smeared ketchup across the marble like a crime scene.

"Make sure it's spotless," I said smugly. "Or I'll be deducting from today's paycheck. Oh, and while we're at it, I'm still considering damages for the harassment you pulled this morning. My mental state? Ruined."

She turned to me with the biggest, fakest, most deceitful smile I'd ever seen. Her dimples and those striking aqua-green eyes could've fooled anyone.

But not me.

She was pure evil—evil in a deceptively beautiful bow.

I took my coffee and laptop, stepping past her as she muttered insults under her breath, her mop sloshing through the mess.

---

I arrived just in time for my meeting, setting up as my assistant connected my laptop to the projector. The proposal for our next big project was ready. Dane strolled in just as I took a sip of my coffee—

And immediately spat it out.

Salt. Pepper. What the hell?!

That little demon.

Before I could recover, the room was filled with a sudden, unmistakable sound:

"Ahhh, yes. Put it inside—yes, baby, oh yesss. Deeper—"

The projector.

I looked up in horror. Porn. Playing. On the massive screen.

Dane, naturally, was dying of laughter.

"Turn it off! Meeting dismissed till noon!" I barked, but the damage was done. My employees rushed out, some very concerned about my life choices.

Dane wiped away tears of laughter. "You forgot to switch tabs, Lexus. I always told you to switch tabs! This is the funniest thing I've seen all year."

I clenched my jaw, my rage boiling over.

"That girl," I growled. "She's trying to get fired. Oh, so that's how she wants to play?"

I slammed my laptop shut.

Game on.