chapter 9: Mastering dialogue 101: with extra sarcasm
Kai–sensei's first lesson: how to write a dialogue that doesn't sound like a malfunctioning robot
Kai adjusted his glasses, looking at Hotaru with the seriousness of a wise master. "Dialogue, my dear student, is one of the most powerful tools in a writer's arsenal. It can bring characters to life… or make them sound like they were programmed by an AI with zero social skills."
Hotaru nodded furiously, notebook in hand. "Got it! So… how do I make my dialogue better?"
Kai leaned back, raising a finger. "Lesson one: Make it sound natural. Have you ever read a book where the characters talk like this?"
He cleared his throat and spoke in an overly dramatic monotone:
> 'Good morning, brother. I hope you are doing well today. How is the weather outside?'
Hotaru frowned. "Uhh… that sounds weird."
Kai smirked. "Exactly. No one talks like that! If your characters sound like they belong in a 19th-century etiquette manual, you're doing something wrong."
Hotaru scribbled notes. "Okay, so dialogue should sound real… Got it! What's next?"
Kai raised a second finger. "Lesson two: Keep it short and snappy. People don't give speeches in everyday conversations. If your character needs five paragraphs to answer a simple question, your readers will be asleep by the time they're done."
Hotaru hesitated. "But what if I need a long dialogue?"
Kai sighed, shaking his head. "Then break it up. Add pauses, reactions, actions—make it flow naturally." He pointed at her. "Would you rather read this—"
> 'I have always felt that writing is the truest form of expression. It allows the human soul to be immortalized on paper. Through words, we connect with people, emotions, and experiences that transcend time…'
Kai snorted. "—or this?"
> 'Writing lets you put your soul on paper. That's kinda cool, don't you think?'
Hotaru tapped her chin. "The second one feels more natural…"
"Exactly." Kai smirked. "You just passed lesson two."
Hotaru pumped her fist. "Yes! What's next?"
Kai raised a third finger. "Lesson three: Show emotion, don't explain it."
He leaned forward. "Tell me, which one feels more alive?"
> 'I am very angry right now,' she said angrily.
or
> She slammed her fist on the table, her jaw tightening. 'You have five seconds to explain yourself before I throw you out the window.'
Hotaru's eyes widened. "The second one, obviously!"
Kai grinned. "See? Instead of telling the reader that the character is angry, the second example shows it through actions and tone. That's the difference between boring dialogue and great dialogue."
Hotaru quickly jotted it down. "I feel like my dialogue was robotic before… But now, I get it!"
Kai nodded approvingly. "Good. Now, for your final test—rewrite one of your old dialogues using what you just learned."
Hotaru gulped. "Now?"
"Right now."
Hotaru picked up her pen, staring at the blank page. For a moment, she hesitated. Would she really be able to apply everything Kai taught her?
Kai, noticing her pause, leaned back with a lazy yawn. "Look, you don't have to get it perfect on the first try. Writing is like cooking—you throw in some ingredients, mess up a few times, and eventually, you make something edible."
Hotaru snorted. "That's the worst metaphor I've ever heard."
Kai shrugged. "Doesn't make it less true. Just write something. Even if it's bad, you can always fix it later. That's what editing is for."
Hotaru exhaled and nodded. "Alright… Here goes nothing."
She pressed her pen to the paper, determined to prove herself to Kai-sensei.
And so, her journey to mastering dialogue had officially begun.
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~~~~~~~~~~end of chapter 9~~~~~~~~~
WARNING
This is the original version of the webnovel "Hotaru's assassin" by the author "Hanagaki Ryuka". Please don't copyright or upload it in your name
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O1cON4UEjsjFPMZxqNSY425-fdHW19779uAKscbDsy8/edit?usp=drivesdk