Chapter 23 - Reality Is A Dream, and Dreams Are Reality

Day 19

Morning

Middletown Hospital

Logan moved through the relatively small Middletown Hospital, headed for the cramped room they had retrofitted for their only current resident. It wasn't hard to miss, what with two of the General's men standing guard outside her door. Brown and Johnson were the soldiers Erin had saved two days prior, and they hadn't left this guard position for more than four hours at a time, even then only when Logan or Sydney were willing to cover them while they used that time to get some sleep. The lack of sleep, a testament to their will, training, or both. General Anderson and his remaining soldier each took shifts with the tank crew watching that asset, doubling their efforts by watching over Noah, Mrs. McGibbons, and Noah's mom.

Nodding to each of them and receiving the same in response, Logan knocked, waited a couple seconds, then turned the door handle and entered. Sitting beside the bed was Eun-ha, holding her daughter's hand with one of her own while she silently read a book held in the other. When the door opened, she looked up and smiled at Logan.

"Hello Logan, come to sneak off with more of my food?" While Logan was by no means a gluttonous eater, he did find Eun-ha's food nearly irresistible. Since she refused to leave the clinic, she had offered to cook food for all of the staff and patients. Made easier because her tools were mobile. With nothing else to do except read and sit by Erin's side, Eun-ha opted to cook more than anyone needed. As she got better with those skills, the food also stayed fresh longer, and didn't spoil nearly as quickly.

"Only if you have some to spare, Mrs. Moon." Logan returned the smile, trying to inject some levity into his mood.

"Enough with that formal nonsense. You started that when we brought Erin here, and it darn well needs to stop."

Yes, Mrs. M…err…Eun-ha." Logan had the sense to look down, embarrassed.

"Better, and yes I have extra. Take this pie for you and Sydney. Eat it before your excursion outside the city today." Eun-ha handed Logan what looked like a fruit pie of some sort. Examining the pie as he sent it into inventory, the name said it was a Gold Survivalist's Blueberry Pie. Bonuses to health, health regen, perception, dexterity, and endurance. Useful for their task.

Smiling appreciatively at the benefits, Logan gave an earnest, "Thank you, Eun-ha." Before turning his attention to Erin. "Any change?"

Eun-ha's smile dropped almost immediately, the energy draining from her face, "No change. The smaller wounds are mostly healed, though they're leaving scars. The worst wound is taking longer to heal."

"The one that punctured her lung?" Logan asked.

"Yes. The doctor is trying to find a way to speed up the healing, but the wounds ignore attempts to speed up healing." Eun-ha's eyes started to glisten.

Logan tried to add some reassurance to his next statement, "Hey, don't worry. You know how tough Erin is, you raised her after all. She'll pull through this." Logan reinforced his words with an arm around Eun-ha's shoulders.

"She damn well better, because I'm going to expect her to kick that stranger's ass next time they fight." There was a fire in Eun-ha's words.

Logan chuckled, "Language, Eun-ha!"

The fire in Eun-ha disappeared as quickly as it had surfaced, "I was hoping I could shock her awake."

"Knowing her, she's probably so focused on training in her sleep, she didn't hear you curse."

That got a short chuckle from Eun-ha, as she said, "Yeah…"

Day 19

Morning

Erin's Dreams

As Erin sat in the booth of the restaurant, chocolate fudge sundae on the table in front of her, something felt wrong. She was sitting too low in the seat, and her hands were too small. She recognized this place, this time.

"Something wrong with your sundae, sweetheart?" Her dad stopped his conversation with Sensei to check on Erin, who was looking around a little lost. "If you're done eating, we can go."

Erin's fear spiked, Not this place! Not this time! Barely thinking past the fear, Erin blurted her words out as she said, "No! No, it's delicious daddy. I might want another one after this!"

"Anything for my special little girl." He ruffled her hair, and went back to talking with Erin's Sensei.

She didn't know what to think. This was her worst nightmare, because it was also the worst thing that had ever happened to her. How could she be here?

Erin managed to finish the first sundae, but knowing what happened if they left, she ordered another sundae and picked at it just quickly enough to keep her father from calling it quits.

There were no tires screeching outside, no sounds of gunfire, no shattering of glass or screams, or any signs of something bad happening. So after thirty minutes of procrastinating, Erin gave in to her father's prodding and all three exited the establishment.

They weren't ten feet out the door when Erin heard the revving of engines. She froze on the spot, fear permeating every cell in her body. The tires screeched as the vehicles rounded the corner, her father and Sensei yelled at her to get down, and then the gun shots came.

Erin screamed as the weight of her father and Sensei buried her. When she felt the blood soaking into her karate gi her tears started in earnest. The people came out, just like before, and helped un-bury her. She sat on the sidewalk, pulled her knees up to her chest, leaned her face into the darkness provided by her limbs, and started rocking.

There was a flash of light that reached through the gaps between limbs and clothes, then she was back in the booth inside the restaurant.

Erin looked around, terror on her face.

"Something wrong with your sundae, sweetheart?" She heard her dad say again, but it barely reached her conscious mind.

"I need to pee!" Erin said as she fought to get out past her father.

Slipping out of the booth, her father responded, "Okay, you go to the bathroom, I'm going to pay the bill. We'll be right outside when you're done."

Erin's brain was in full panic mode. As she went into the bathroom, she stepped into the first stall she reached, locked the door, put the seat down, and sat there, nearly hyperventilating. When the muffled sounds of revving engines made it to her ears, her brain finally processed what her father said. We'll be right outside when you're done. "No! No! No Daddy, come back inside!"

She fumbled with the lock for the stall, but by the time she got out and ripped open the bathroom door, the gunshots had started. She could see holes in the glass door of the restaurant, blood splatters, and she silently shook her head as she backed up, letting the bathroom door close and obscure the scene.

This time the flash didn't wait for Erin to cover her eyes. She was backed against the wall of the bathroom, shaking her head, then the flash, and she was back in the booth.

The terror and dread that filled her words didn't register properly with her father, perhaps because this wasn't real, "Dad! Dad, we need to go now. Please, pay and let's go!"

"Okay, okay, let me flag down a waitress."

"No, let's pay up at the cash register, it's quicker. Please."

"I thought martial arts taught patience, young lady. This is your special day, so we can go up there and pay, but we're having a talk later about how to behave in public." Her father's voice was frustrated and disappointed now, and her Sensei gave her a disapproving look.

All she could think was, If there's a later I'll pay the price.

Her dad paid at the register, they left the restaurant, and ten feet out the door she heard the revving engines again. She didn't make a sound this time. She didn't move, and she barely felt the tears flowing down her cheeks. When her father and Sensei collapsed on her, pinning six-year-old Erin to the sidewalk, she just laid there, silently.

On subsequent repeats, she tried new ways, tried to delay her father and Sensei, speed them up, force them to chase her into the back room, force them to stay, force them to rush out after her without paying. Everything she did ended the same way.

So she did something completely unnatural to her. Erin gave up.

Each iteration, Erin curled into a ball on the booth seat and ignored everything around her. After a few more iterations of that, she became an external observer. Standing in her present day adult form. She tried interacting with the people and the environment that way, but they didn't react to her, and Erin's body passed through everything she tried to touch.

In this state, she watched everything happen exactly how they did when she was six, complete with a little version of herself. Even though she knew it was coming, each time the gun shots sounded off, it startled her. Until finally she collapsed back against a wall, hugged her knees, and started mumbling I give up like a protective mantra. It didn't hold back the tears, or stop the repeating nightmare, but Erin didn't care at that point.

When the voice of Erin's father spoke to her, she didn't immediately stop what she was doing. Despite the voice coming from nearby, her brain said it was the repeating nightmare.

"You're missing the point, sweetheart."

"I give up. I give up. I give up. I give up. I…give…huh?" Erin looked up, tear-soaked cheeks, to see her father standing over her.

"You're missing the point of this dream, sweetheart."

"...dad…?"

"Yes…and no." Her father waffled his hand.

"Y-you can see me?" Erin reached out to touch his arm, and when that touched a solid person, Erin lunged to her feet and wrapped her arms around her dad. "How are you here? Why are you here? I've missed you!"

"Woah, woah, easy up Erin. Before you get all excited, you need to know something." He said this as he tried to gently extricate himself from Erin's grip on him.

"Nothing else matters now that you're here." Erin tried to wrap her arms around him for another hug but he caught her shoulders.

"Sweetheart, I'm not…not the father you knew."

Erin's face screwed up in confusion, "What the hell does that mean? Is this some trick? Am I in Hell?"

"No!" He raised his hands placatingly, "It's definitely not Hell, and it's not meant to be a trick. Erin, please let me explain, then make your own mind up."

Erin backed away cautiously, then said, "Okay, explain…"

He sighed, and Erin's heart ached. She remembered that sigh. She remembered how he would sigh like that when she asked something difficult. "Sweetheart, you're unconscious in the Middletown Hospital right now." He looked her in the eyes to show he was trying to be honest, "I'm…kind of like a simulation of myself…of your father."

"Sim…simulation? That sounds like a trick." Erin's ire spiked.

"It would be if the System didn't use the memories of those who knew me on this earth," He looked pointedly at her, "supported by knowledge from similar versions of me on other worlds."

Erin started to look confused again, "So…you're worse than a trick, you're a puppet the System created to fuck with me, like this place." She waved her hand to encompass the restaurant.

"Language, young lady." Her father raised a finger in warning. "I might only be a simulation, but even I know your mother wouldn't permit you to speak like that."

Looking somewhat chastised by the admonition, she whispered, "Yeah, she gives me trouble sometimes."

Her father softened and sighed again, "I'm sorry, Erin, I don't think I have the right to give you trouble. It just came out."

Erin didn't say anything, staring at the floor, she didn't know what else to do.

"Sweetheart…Erin, the System put my simulation together because you're going backwards, not forwards." He reached for her hand, but she pulled it back. Not aggressively, but the gesture made it clear she wasn't comfortable with it. "This simulation isn't meant as a punishment, it's meant to help you get past this part of your life."

Erin's rage flared fully, and her skin tingled like when she released Ki, "By traumatizing me further? This was the worst day of my life! Who could possibly think making me relive this over and over was a good idea!?"

The simulation looked resigned and disappointed, "Yeah, that's what I told her."

"Her?" Erin spit this word out, not willing to calm her anger yet.

"The System AI?"

"You mean it, it's not a person. It's just some…sort of alien code invading our world."

"Oh, you'd be surprised." He paused and looked up at the ceiling, "Oh, we're getting off topic. Okay, back on topic. So the point of this is that you have a lot of anger…like…A LOT, compared to most."

Erin rolled her eyes, "Couldn't possibly imagine why that is." She looked away, and when she looked back at her father she was wiping her cheek."

His voice softened as he said, "Hey, I'm not judging, and I don't think she is either. We're just concerned." He raised his hands like he was trying to articulate something as his mouth worked, before he finally got words out, "Every…version of us on every world is…connected in a way…and that connection between the other versions of us it also ties into our power."

"Can I visit these other worlds and other versions of us…other versions of you?" Erin looked hopeful at the answer.

Pausing and looking at the ceiling again, her father said, "Outside the scope of this conversation, I'm sorry. The point is, you are a…keystone. That's the word she uses. On every world, you collect power, people, and events in your orbit."

"Great," Looking up at the ceiling with an increased volume, "So give me a goddamn cookie. I Promise not to care by the time I'm done eating it!"

"She won't speak to you directly, at least not in this capacity," Erin's father shook his head, "But she said to say 'ha…ha' and that if you want a cookie, ask your mom for one." He had a slightly confused look, but continued anyway, "The thing is, if you don't get the anger under control, it will get you killed, or…" He paused to gather the strength to express this next point, but Erin beat him to it.

"Or I end up killing someone I care about."

Her father nodded, "Yeah, yeah…that."

"So, what will fix me? Acupuncture? Lobotomy? Sex?"

Making a disgusted face, Erin's father brought his hands up to ward that thought off, "Oh, god, too much information! No, I don't know, look, no one can tell you how to control your own anger. It's not like someone can wave a magic wand."

"What then?" Erin sighed with frustration.

"Part of this dream was to show you that nothing you did that day could have changed this situation. Nothing you did differently with Jin-soo could have changed that situation." This time when he reached for both her hands, Erin didn't pull away, her eyes were glistening with unreleased tears, "Erin, things happen. People die. You can't blame yourself. Not when you were six, not at 19, and not in the future. You need to come to terms with that."

"I…" Erin looked down, "I don't know if I can."

"You have to before…" He looked up again, "Dammit, we're out of time. Erin, you have to try. For yourself, for your mom, for your friends, and for the world." Standing up, her father reached out a hand and helped her up."

She hesitated for a second, then reached out and hugged her father once more. "Simulation or not, I'm glad I got a few more minutes with you."

As her father started to fade out of existence, he said the words she hadn't heard in so long. Words every daughter wants to hear from their father, simulation or not, "I'm so proud of you sweetheart, and I love you."