A Premonition of Change
I've never been dragged anywhere before. But as they say, there's a first for everything.
Kei sent me a message in the morning that was, as usual, filled with enthusiasm.
"Aichi! Let's go out today. I'll come pick you up!" followed by 4 cute stickers.
A small smile crept up on my lips. However, I really didn't feel like going out or seeing anyone. What was I going to respond to her with? She was being assertive, and it was clear she wasn't going to take no for an answer. I could say that I had to take care of Airi. But Mom was home, as it was Saturday.
And so, I gave in.
A little before noon, Kei rung our doorbell.
"Morning Aichi!" She said, giving me a tight hug, which I returned.
"Good morning, please come in. I haven't gotten ready yet. Could you please wait in the living room? I won't be long"
"Of course! Take your time. In fact, please take as much time as you want. I need to get my fill of Airi, hehe"
"Oh you! So, where exactly are we going?"
"That's a secret! Thanks for having me!" She walked past me and greeted my mom.
Okay then. To be completely honest, I'm someone who prefers to plan things out in advance instead of being spontaneous. But Kei wanted it that way, so I just had to go with the flow this time. It's not like I minded that much — in fact, I started hoping that it'd help lift my mood up.
However, there was something that I was worried about. I feared that Kei was going to try probing into what's been bothering me. I tried my best to put on a mask at school. But that sort of thing didn't work on my best friend.
I put all of those thoughts aside and opened my wardrobe. As we were nearing the end of October, the weather was cool during the day, and a bit chilly at night.
I picked out a minimal black blouse. I was not in the mood for something colourful and happy, so I paired that with a black skirt. I then layered all that with a beige cardigan to temper the blacks.
"Kei, I'm all done!"
*
Kei took us to a new cafe that she wanted to check out. It was a well-decorated place, with a homey vibe to it despite being in a shopping center. It was rather quiet, which surprised me since Kei usually preferred noisy places.
The menu items had cute names that would appeal to any high school girl. Which made me wonder why it wasn't packed with people on a Saturday. Perhaps because it was new, so people hadn't found out about it yet.
I ordered a Bunny Iced Chocolate Frappe, while Kei went with the Mewberry Bliss.
My drink was truly delicious. It had whipped cream on top in the shape of a bunny. It wasn't like the flat latte art. It was a 3D bunny. The whipped cream protruded up in two spots, making the bunny ears. The rest of its features were also clearly sculpted into the cream using, perhaps, a toothpick.
The chocolate helped lift up my spirits a bit. And when Kei offered to swap drinks, I got to taste the Mewberry Bliss. It was just as good.
"So Aichi... Are you gonna talk or what?"
"Um... Talk about what, exactly?" I feigned ignorance.
"About what's got you so upset of course. You've been depressed. I can tell"
I sighed defeat in the face of Kei's discerning eye. She was as sharp as ever. Yet, I've never seen her get straight to the point like this. At least not with me. She usually tried supporting me without being too directly involved.
"I- I can't tell you the whole story, but I'll do my best to get the gist of it across"
"Huh?"
"Oh nothing! That's fine by me!"
And just like that, I explained the pain I felt when I saw Shinonome-san and Sajou-kun act so close. I left out the part about the truth behind his injury. It was a secret that he did not want anyone to know about. And I respected that. I would take it with me to the grave if I had to.
I felt extremely vulnerable, talking about my feelings like this. So I tried avoiding directly putting things into words. It was too embarrassing.
"I'm not sure why but... I got a really bad feeling when I saw them. Yet, it's not like I have any right to tell him anything. And that got me thinking, perhaps I've been forcing him to stay close to me, when he felt the need to befriend other gi-... other people. It's like I was keeping him to myself despite... despite having... having..."
I couldn't say it.
I felt a hot lump forming in my throat, blocking my words and building pressure up in my chest. It was taking all I had not to start crying. I looked down at the table to hide my teary eyes.
Kei seemed to have noticed, so she said nothing for a while, giving me time to calm down. I was grateful to her for that. She was always so thoughtful. I was lucky to have someone like her as a friend, truly.
A few minutes later, I continued "...despite having already turned him down."
"Aichi... I think you're being a bit hard on yourself you know." said Kei as she put my hands in hers. "Sajocchi doesn't think of you as a burden or an annoyance. Not in the slightest"
That's what she said, but I wasn't so sure. And even if he didn't think I was an annoyance, was it really in his best interest to keep being involved with me? Does seeing me remind him of heartbreak? Will he find another special person to take my place? The place I rejected?
But those were not questions that I could voice out loud. Not like their answers mattered much anyway. Because in any case, I felt that dragging him back to a place where we can be close again was irresponsible of me. Such an act would be the embodiment of... what did they call it? 'Sending mixed signals'? In other words, toying with someone's emotions. It was the last thing I wanted to do. I felt the pressure to stick to my initial decision, despite having a change of feelings. Or, rather, a realisation of my true feelings.
Suddenly, Kei's grip on my hands tightened. I looked up at her, only to see her staring at something behind me, a look of surprise on her face. There was something else there as well... A hint of panic?
I was about to turn around to see what she was looking at, when I suddenly heard a loud clatter. Kei's drink had spilled over. Thankfully, it was mostly empty, so it didn't make much of a mess at all.
"OH! Haha, whoops! I'm so clumsy. Help me out here Aichi, will you?"
"Oh, yeah sure" I said as I handed her some tissues.
She put a few tissues over the spilled drink, stood up and said "I just remembered I need to buy something! You're done with your drink, right? Come on let's go!"
Why the rush? She was acting strange all of the sudden. I decided not to dwell on it and followed her out through the back entrance of the cafe.
*
I got back home from my outing with Ichinose at around 5pm. Going shopping always left me tired for some reason, so I was planning on heading straight to my bedroom for a nap.
Despite it not yet being dinner time, my parents were both sitting at the dining table when I got home. It didn't take long for me to notice that something was off. Very off, in fact. The tension in the atmosphere was so palpable you could cut through it with a knife.
Then I saw Big Sis standing halfway between the dining table and the living room, her arms crossed. Yep, something was definitely up.
"Um... I'm home?" I said hesitantly.
"Welcome home dear. Come join us, we're having a family discussion" said Mom.
A family discussion? She said it like it was the most natural thing ever. But that wasn't something we ever had.
Besides, why not wait for me? Was I not part of the family...?! Is what I would've said, had I not sensed trouble. I preferred to not get involved in such things.
I looked over at Big Sis, trying to read her expression. She had a serious look on her face and, instead of the anger I expected to see, I spotted some... excitement?
"Sure" I said, leaning back on the couch's armrest.
"You may not remember this very well, but when you were just a kid, your father rejected an offer to become a part of his company's management. It was partly because he didn't want to put us in a tough spot financially, had things not gone well."
It was before I was in Middle School, but I still had vague memories of that. It was something my
"Well, I got a new offer. This time, it may very well lead to being an important figure of a big company." said Dad.
"..."
Whoa, okay. I knew this seemed serious the moment I walked into the house, but this was still way beyond my wildest expectations. Big company? Important figure? Like a shareholder? I knew dad was good at what he did, but this was serious. Like, seriously, seriously serious. I could totes tell why Big Sis looked hyper. I mean, I started talking like a high school girl myself!
"And... Are you going to accept?" I asked.
He nodded.
"Isn't this something to celebrate? What's with the tense atmosphere?" I asked.
"You know how it is, the higher you go the tougher it gets..." Big Sis finally broke her silence. What she said made sense. The more authority a person had, the more the responsibilities. But that didn't stop some people from climbing the societal hierarchy.
"Do you want to accept this offer, Dad?"
"Now that you're on your way to becoming adults, I feel more comfortable taking a bit of a risk. So yes, this isn't an offer I want to let pass by"
I sighed in relief. I saw no problems at all here. Also, this wasn't something that was going to change my life much. We might start being able to afford more expensive things, at the cost of seeing Dad less often. But I guessed that would be all.
As a family, we were around middle-class. With conscious spending and budgeting, we were pretty financially comfortable. So the most important consideration here was whether Dad wanted this career path. He said he did, so I was going to happily support him from the sidelines.
"Oh and I'll need your help with something"
Ah. I spoke too soon.