Chapter 45 - I'm in Heat

For a brief moment, the boy's perspective only serves to make Círdan aware that those past events, —the elves' rash decisions, —were indeed childish and irrational, exiling their own kind for such superficial reasons.

In response, the elf merely nods and comments shortly thereafter, still maintaining his usual tone of voice.

— As soon as we heard about the victims of the war, we tried to mobilize as many of our own race as possible to help them. Even if it meant going against other races.

— I understand that this is a lot of information, but I hope that you can grasp the meaning and logic behind our ideology. And why we help you all, even if it puts us under pressure in some ways...

With that, the elf finishes his statement. Then he stands up from where he was sitting and takes a few steps forward, watching from a distance as his companions help and treat as many victims as possible, applying herbs and using support magic.

At that moment, the student voices his opinion on Círdan's past.

— Well, I kind of get why you guys are doing this. But it still doesn't explain why you're torturing yourself, helping others to the point of exhaustion.

— Dude, are you doing this as some kind of penance? Like, if that's really the case, you need to break free from that mindset… You shouldn't live in the past — he states impatiently, his voice filled with irritation and his expression full of doubt.

— Who gives a shit if what happened 500 years ago was your fault? You have to stop this. Redemption for sins? Are you serious?

— I appreciate what you've done for us, and I'm truly grateful for all the people you've helped. But are you really doing this to help others, or just to ease your own "sentence"?

— "I'll help people so I feel less guilty" or "I do this so I don't feel as bad about what happened." Are those your thoughts? I don't get it…

— Do you truly follow the ideology of unification and pacifism, or are you just isolating yourself from the world as a way to atone for past mistakes?

— What I see in front of me is someone wearing a mask, but in reality, you're the most mentally broken person in this place.

At that moment, the student stands up from the bench and walks to the side. And before leaving, he says one last thing.

— That's how I feel after hearing all this bullshit... Anyway, I'm going to my room now. What's in the past stays in the past, don't let it interfere with the present.

— You don't have to answer me now, you're in terrible shape. Get some rest before you collapse — he adds before leaving.

Then he turns and walks to the room he's staying in, without looking back or knowing how Círdan reacted to his harsh words.

As he leaves, the boy's thoughts take over.

"How can someone stay isolated for 500 years and say they're following their true beliefs... Torturing themselves for so long over something that wasn't even entirely their fault..."

"The way he talked, it was like he committed the worst crime in the world..."

"I don't care if he hates me for what I said, someone had to say it, even if it came out rude or harsh."

...

As soon as the student enters the room, he notices that Kazuki is still awake, — sitting on the rug in the living room, covered with a red blanket while warming his hands in front of the fireplace.

Upon hearing the sound of the door opening, the beastman turns around and spots the student.

— Rei, where have you been all this time? After I put the kids to bed, I went looking for you, but I couldn't find you anywhere... — he comments, getting up and walking towards the boy.

— Well, sorry about that. I was helping some people in the corridors, then I stepped outside the refuge to get some fresh air. Maybe that's why you couldn't find me — he replies, walking over to the bed and picking up his pajama kimono.

— What? You went outside?

— Yes. I know you're worried about me, but I can take care of myself. No need to stress.

— Speaking of which, just a second. I have to change, can you turn around? — he says and takes off his shirt.

— Ah, uhh... sure. — The Beastman agrees, quickly turning his back and looking away to the fireplace, unable to hide the red on his face.

— N-Next time, at least let me know if you're going to be late...

— All right, next time I'll let you know, relax. You can turn around now.

At that moment, the student's body starts to heat up. He feels something strange running through him. His temperature rises, an undefined warmth intensifies, and his heartbeat becomes more noticeable.

"W-What's happening?"

"Calm down, I... Is it a fever? Why is my body like this? Shit... I really shouldn't have stayed on the cliff for so long. But this feels strange..."

The boy loses his balance, his body staggers, his mind slightly hazy, — similar to the effect of alcohol.

— Hey, I... u-uhh... I'm not feeling so good. Can you help me here?

As soon as he notices the boy is about to collapse, Kazuki catches him and quickly carries him to the bed.

— Rei, are you okay? What happened? — he asks with genuine concern, unable to hide his worry.

— I think I might have caught a cold or a fever... I can't think straight, my body just got really hot all of a sudden.

— You're... releasing your pheromones. They're really strong... — he says, covering his nose, his blush deepening.

— Rei... I think you're in heat.

— Heat?