Chapter 70:

The song ended, and a wave of applause rose up. The lead singer said something Harry couldn't quite make out, then the next song started up. Sirius steered him around a corner, and he could finally see the stage. The concert seemed to be pretty family-orientated; there was a huge cluster of people at the very front, but further back people were more spread out, many people with blankets and picnics spread about them. Sirius found a good spot that wasn't too close to the crush up front, and offered Harry a grin. "Can you see alright, pup?"

"Yeah," he assured, having to speak loudly over the music. "Sirius, this is amazing!" He'd never seen any kind of live music before. He could feel the bass guitar rumbling in his chest, the drum pounding in his ears like a heartbeat. Sirius beamed.

"You're gonna love it, kiddo!"

Harry glanced back at Remus and Snape, who were stood close to each other but not touching; it was the muggle world, after all, and you could never be too careful. They still curved into each other, just a little bit, like they couldn't help themselves. They probably didn't even notice they were doing it. Snape didn't always come with them on their weekend trips, but Harry liked it when he did. Remus was happier when he did. The werewolf was smiling faintly, his head bobbing along to the music.

Sirius spun Harry around, grabbing the boy's hands in his much larger ones and lifting them over his head, waving them in time with the music along with the rest of the crowd. Harry laughed, leaning back against his godfather's chest, hearing the man sing along with his slightly husky baritone.

Best summer ever. .-.-.-.

Sprawled out on the living room sofa in front of a crackling fire, Padfoot wedged between him and the back of the sofa and demanding head-scratches every few seconds, Remus could hardly believe how much his life had turned around in the last two months. He had his best friend, his pack cub, and the love of his life all under one roof, with nothing to disturb them until school began. And he was connecting with his inner wolf in ways he never had before. Transformations were easier than ever, and he felt ten years younger. If not for Harry's age and the lack of Lily and James, it would almost be like none of the last thirteen years had happened.

Padfoot let out a loud doggy snore, and Remus snickered, adjusting to make himself more comfortable. Sirius was getting much better, but he still often spent time in his animal form; after practically living as a dog for twelve years, it was hard for him to adjust to being human sometimes.

Harry and Severus were downstairs somewhere practicing Harry's Occlumency, so Remus officially had nothing to do until dinner. He could get used to being a man of leisure; after having to scrape whatever job he could find just to survive, he still couldn't quite get used to doing nothing. He missed teaching — more than he expected to, honestly — but tutoring Harry gave him so much joy, and it was nice to take a break as well. He cocked his head when he heard familiar footsteps heading his way; was that the time already?

Severus appeared in the doorway, his fairly neutral expression turning into a scowl when he saw the way Padfoot was stretched out over Remus. Remus bit back a sigh. "I can see I'm interrupting," Severus said sharply. "I'll come back later."

"Severus," Remus called, but the man turned away. Remus sighed, dragging himself out from under the dog and off the sofa. "Go back to sleep, Padfoot," he muttered, rubbing the dog's head as he looked up in drowsy confusion.

He caught up to Severus halfway down the corridor, grabbing him gently by the elbow. "Severus, what did you need?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted company reading before dinner, but I see you already found it," the Slytherin retorted. He was unable to hide the hurt in his tone from Remus' practiced ear, and the werewolf frowned.

"I always want your company," he murmured, leaning in close to the man. "Sirius snores."

That was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Severus wrenched his arm from Remus' grip, stalking off towards the stairs. Remus hurried after him. "Severus, please," he urged. "Tell me what I'm doing wrong." "If you can't figure it out yourself, that should be proof enough," Severus snapped.

Remus felt like they were sixteen again, navigating the minefield of Slytherin versus Gryffindor, werewolf versus future Death Eater, two teenage boys desperate for connection but so scared of getting hurt.

He'd hated being sixteen.

"Severus," he said again, sliding a hand to the back of the man's neck. Moony whined in the back of his head, asking why their mate was sad. Remus wished he had an answer. He looked deep into the near-black eyes he loved, trying to figure it out.

"Go back to your mutt, Lupin," Severus urged. "I have other places to be."

Slowly the matter dawned on Remus, and he almost groaned. Again? He thought he'd put this to rest over a decade ago. "Severus," he murmured, gently pushing the man up against the wall. Not hard enough that he couldn't fight it; never hard enough to hurt. Severus' back hit the dark blue wallpaper. "There is nothing between Sirius and I. There never has been and never will be anything but a very deep, utterly platonic love between Sirius and I. You know that. You know we kissed once when we were drunk fifth years and it was the worst kiss of my entire life." "He might've gotten better since then," Severus muttered. Remus snorted.

"If you want to go find out, by all means, go ahead," he retorted dryly. "But I have zero interest in doing so."

"Does he know that?"

"Of course he does! Severus, my God, a blind man could see the way I look at you like you hung the whole Merlin-damned Milky Way!" He sucked in a sharp breath, his heart breaking that even after all these years, Severus still just didn't get it. "Sirius has been through hell. Over a decade surrounded by dementors, then hiding in the Forbidden Forest living off rats. He hadn't had a comforting touch since before Lily and James died, til he came here. He still has nightmares about being back in that place! Sometimes he needs someone to be there just to remind him he's not alone. If I can be that person for my best friend, my brother, then you bet your arse I will. And I… I lost everything that night. I lost my pack, I lost my place in the wizarding world, I lost you. I've got most of it back, and I'm so grateful for every day I get to keep it. I lost Sirius for thirteen years. I need him, Severus. Not the same way I need you, but I need him all the same. Please don't begrudge me that. Know that I only ever want you. You're my heart, Severus, you have been since we were bloody thirteen!"

•

🚀New updates on my Ko-fi!🚀

Support me and read the novel, now available in PDF, with the advanced chapters.

•

https://ko-fi.com/cmrowling