029. The Missed Time

——In youth, flowers bloom in every season. Perhaps only at that singular moment in one's life can one catch a fleeting glimpse of true beauty.

The room finally sank into utter silence. Shen Yunyi sat beside the hospital bed, and Chenchen rested her head on his shoulder, her gaze fixed on the window.

His eyes were as deep as an autumn pond. His stare spilled out and landed on the distant glass pane. One could only wonder what was swirling in his mind.

"What are you looking at?" she inquired.

Shen Yunyi remained silent.

"I'm asking what you're looking at!" she raised her voice.

Only then did he turn to look at her. "I was thinking... Oh, what was it? I've forgotten." Shen Yunyi blinked his eyes and flashed a radiant smile, like a thousand blooming trees in full splendor.

"Don't tell me you're already getting Alzheimer's!" Chenchen laughed too.

Outside the window, several little birds darted out of the tree shade in a flurry.

"When I was a kid, I really loved getting sick. Every time I was ill, Mom would let me skip painting lessons. I'd stay in the study, playing with all the little trinkets I'd collected. I was in heaven."

"I hate being sick. It makes me so miserable." Chenchen gently punched him. "I used to like hiding in the study and secretly reading romance novels. I even put a book cover on the outside. Then Mom found out... Hehe..."

"You little rascal." He traced his finger across her nose. "I have something for you."

Shen Yunyi took out a delicate dark - blue lighter from the inner pocket of his coat. The front of the lighter was adorned with mottled flower patterns, and a big "Y" was engraved on the back. "I'm going back to Italy tomorrow. Keep this. I remember you smoke."

Shen Yunyi held out his hand in front of her. The lighter lay nestled in his palm.

"Smoking is bad for your health." Chenchen took the lighter and caressed the patterns on it. "I've never inhaled the smoke into my lungs. I just like the feeling. The whole process is magical."

He said nothing, just ran his fingers through her long hair, his mind adrift.

In the dark of night, when the flowers were in full bloom, she wore a gorgeous peony - patterned shirt and heavy smoky makeup. Her eyes were full of allure, her red lips slightly parted, and her breath was like the sweetest orchid fragrance. At dawn, she wore a smooth silk white peony - patterned dress, her long hair like a satin waterfall. Her face was makeup - free, fair and flawless, and her eyes were as clear as a mountain stream.

She seemed to have a special fondness for cheongsams. The various resplendent cheongsams accentuated her figure with grace.

On the white silk cheongsam were embroidered big red peonies, so vivid they were almost blinding. The sky - silk pearl - blue cheongsam had big peonies blooming boldly, flauntingly. The cheongsam was so short that one's imagination could run wild through the slit... The black velvet cheongsam with big yellow peonies was like narcissuses blooming in a secluded valley, proud and self - contained. Whether one drew near or walked away, one's eyes would be glued to her...

He had never realized that a woman smoking could be so mesmerizing.

From the fragrance, he knew she was smoking a high - grade scented cigarette. Her jade - like fingers held the white cigarette. In the curling smoke, she looked even more mysterious and ethereal. Her half - closed phoenix eyes were brimming with passion; as the cigarette burned, her plump and moist lips were like a deadly temptation, irresistible; at the same time, they were so seductive that it made one's mind wander.

He felt that as she toyed with the cigarette with her fingers, it was as if she was toying with a man who held a corner of her heart. This man roamed within her, fulfilling her innermost desires, and then was gently exhaled by her, vanishing like smoke.

"Why are you looking at me like that? It's not a farewell for good. You'll be back soon." She looked back at him, her eyes resolute.

"How do you know I'll be back soon?" He snapped out of his reverie, smiling with raised eyebrows.

"Well... You'll miss me, so you'll come back."

"Aren't you being too demanding? Greedy girl." He played with her hair.

"Are you scared?" She tilted her chin slightly and looked at him defiantly.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I'm afraid you'll get hurt."

Suddenly, she lowered her head. "Leave me alone. Fei was dragged down by me. Stay away from me. I'm no good."

"Don't talk about yourself like that. Fei liked it when you clung to him." His tone was serious yet full of tenderness.

"How do you know? Maybe he hated it?" Suddenly, her mood plummeted, and her voice grew weak. "Go. Don't come back."

He pressed his head against hers, his fingers twining through her long hair and gently tugging. "Xiaoxi, do you like it when I call you that?"

"I don't like it!" She closed her eyes and was as stubborn as a child.

"Xiaoxi — Xiaoxi —!" He kept calling.

"Hehe..." She tickled his armpit with her hand and said, "I know, I know. You're so annoying."

"Be a good girl and wait for me to come back." He kissed her hair. His voice was as soft as a feather. "We're still going to open a book bar. You write poems and I'll do the illustrations. Just thinking about it makes me excited!"

A mist formed in her eyes. "You take good care of yourself too. I... I'll miss you."

He couldn't see her expression, but from her tone, he sensed that her face had flushed.

"When you miss me, it will rain."

"Why?" She was utterly confused.

Imagining that she must have a cute expression, he curved his lips into a smile. "There's a song that goes like this."

"You, you —" She pinched his waist.

"Haha — haha —!" He laughed heartily. "Then let's change it to snowing."

"Or even hail! Just thinking about it makes me laugh. The tables have turned. Now it's your turn to tease me." She glared at him, looking at the air since their heads were so close.

The chill in the air melted away quietly. It was like a warm spring day, with the fragrance of flowers wafting everywhere. The sun began to shine brightly, and the air was filled with dancing light particles. Shen Yunyi's face grew hot from the sunlight. These light particles seeped into his skin bit by bit, yet he didn't feel warm.

He always seemed to hear sorrowful voices. Alone on a desolate road, he didn't know where to go. His life was gradually bleeding out in the shadow of fate, leaving only a pale and hollow visage.

He didn't dare to look directly into her eyes. He was afraid that he would get lost in their depths. He was afraid that he wouldn't be able to resist taking her hand and running all the way to the ends of the earth.

Smelling the fragrance of her hair, twirling his fingertips through it, and listening to her voice, he was lost in a daze. An aloof young man was having the same dream as before.

She was tired. He supported her body and laid her down. He gently pulled the sheet and covered her up to the chest. The color of the sheet was the same as that of the curtain, a vast gray - blue expanse, like the gloomy seabed, with only a glimmer of light in sight.

They fell silent, and she closed her eyes.

He looked down at her without a word and gently stroked her face. Her eyelashes were incredibly long, like two tiny brushes. Her nose was straight with a slightly upturned tip, looking a bit mischievous. Her lips were a delicate pink, like the petals of a dainty flower. She lay there quietly, as docile as a child. Without her cold and aloof demeanor, she was just like a sweet little sister next door, evoking a pang of pity.

His hand moved to her long hair, and his eyes dimmed. Those missed times, of childhood and youth. Now she was a woman with a story. She had crossed over, and there was a long river between their lives. He wanted to give her a pure and open embrace, but it had become a distant dream.