CHAPTER 24

April waited for Michael's response hopeful that it would be an easy yes.

Micheal had already been told by his lover Casey that Dean would lend them one of his limited edition cars and he was really excited to go on an epic date in it and maybe fool around a little. But now seeing April asking for him to join her and Dean for dinner he felt conflicted.

It would be once in a lifetime opportunity to drive a car like that and to have a little fun inside. But on the other hand here was his friend April practically begging him to join her for dinner.

"What night is it?" Micheal was still considering.

"This Saturday at seven, so you will join us?" April smiled up at Micheal sure now that he would agree.

Not wanting to leave the cute little rabbit to be fed on by the wolf Micheal nodded, "Yes me and Casey will keep you company."

"Oh, you will ask Casey that's great." April was over the moon not to be left alone with Dean. She wanted to run away from the nervous butterflies he gave her.

"Why don't you just go to dinner just the two of you?" Michael wondered.

"Because he puts me on edge. Not in a bad way but like a feeling, I haven't felt before and I can't trust that it's real. So why take chances." April honestly opened up as Micheal was so easy to talk to.

"You know you don't get those feelings from just anyone, sometimes it's worth the risk to feel alive again." Micheal gave some genuine advice he had once followed himself when he first started dating Casey.

"What if I don't want those feelings?"

"April sometimes you have to let go and fall in order to fly again," Micheal remembered Dean calling April his angel so many times he felt that analogy was appropriate. Although Dean had many faults he had seen him change and show a softer side around April so why not help Dean.

"So you will come on Saturday and bring Casey." April took in everything Michael had said and she would honestly think about his words more but as for this Saturday, she wanted back up so she could ignore the feelings Dean gave her.

When all you have had is people bringing you down, using you and casting you aside when they are done it's hard to accept the good and see it for what it is.

Butterflies or not maybe he gave those words and flirty eyes to others.

Seeing her thoughts drift and her eyebrows furrow, Micheal knew she was thinking something idiotic. He flicked her forehead.

"Ouch, why did you do that?" April touched her forehead.

Micheal laughed at her face as she winced from his flick, "Okay I'll get back to work. Text me about Saturday, don't work too hard."

Micheal got up and left, he walked straight past Emily who had stood and tried to approach him again.

"Micheal sorry Mr Palmer, can I do anything for you or Mr Walker?" Emily beamed as she ran after Micheal.

Micheal didn't look back as he got in the lift, the lift doors opened and shut without him even responding to Emily. He wondered how she even made it to the position she had got. Everyone knew her team was hard working and that she came in late and left work early.

Micheal didn't return to his office and instead went to see Casey. He had to break the news that they probably would lose out on that date night they had planned.

Casey was behind his desk buried under paperwork as usual. Why did a hard working man always look so sexy? Maybe his drive and ambition are what Micheal found attractive about Casey.

Casey lifted his head and smirked at his lover as he approached, "We only left each other a few hours ago, did you miss me already?"

"Maybe or maybe I did something." Micheal always confessed straight away he didn't like to hold back, he may as well hold his hands up.

"What did you do?" Casey set down his paperwork and gave Micheal his full attention.

Micheal smiled and put his arms around Casey's shoulders as he came around the desk.

"Okay I may have messed up, I told April we would go on Saturday. So I have ruined our date night plans and Dean's." Micheal blurted it all out in one go, like ripping off a band aid. Quick and painless.

"I thought you would do that so I have a backup plan." Casey knew his lover would do this and so did Dean so they came up with a backup plan.

"You do?" Micheal was shocked for a moment.

"I knew you were going to look at her Bambi's eyes and give in to her. So mine and Dean's back up plan is to say you are unwell and cannot go on Saturday and as your amazing boyfriend I am staying with you to look after you." Casey returned his smile.

"You knew I would give in, you're right I can't help it she is like a cute little bunny and leaving her with Dean I felt bad. Although they would make the perfect couple,a he makes her smile like I have never seen before and Dean is like a teenager with his first crush. They are both cute together." Micheal looked forward to seeing April happy and Dean try to win her heart and find his happiness also.

"I agree so we cannot spoil it for them." Casey wanted his best friend to be as happy as he is and if April was it then he would do everything he could to help him.

"Agreed, so does that mean we still get our date night?" Micheal got excited and kissed Casey.

"Yes, we get our date night and so does Dean."

___

So as April contemplated Dean's condo interior and what design would suit his style she thought about her old life with James Stewart. James had on the surface brought her heart pounding moments and happiness yet he quickly abandoned her love and care for another woman.

He said she was his forever type of girl and he would fight for her but in the end, she was left broken when he left. Was she truly unworthy of love?

What she thought was an eternity of smiles and love as he had described turned out to be just words that wounded her like daggers over and over again. He once brought her smiles with a single message now she had nothing. So could she learn to love another after such a harsh lesson or should she now keep her heart safe and once again not share it with the world.

Dean like James made her heart flutter in excitement and this feeling now reminded her of a bitter reality. Words that are sweet one moment can cause great pain in the next. Forever for James was so short in reality. She gave herself to a man that left her so quickly for another, why?

One minute you are ascending to heaven the next you lie shattered in a million pieces. Wasn't she entitled to her forever love? Instead, she got hurt again. James moved on before she knew it, did he know the anguish and pain he caused her? That she hadn't slept, smiled or eaten since he said his goodbye. No, he didn't because it wouldn't have mattered he had moved on.

She had asked a college friend before, why did he do this and all she got was a painful analogy. Her college friend gave it to her as harshly as possible as he tought it was the quickest way for her to get over James, but it didn't help. The analogy was...

'Think of it as like you are just a tissue to him. After he used you to satisfy himself. He just stained you and throw it into the nearby trash can. Yeah, you are right I am offending you with my words so it will sink into your hard headed head don't be a foolish woman.'

April had responded that she still missed him and would take him back in a heartbeat any day but her friend gave her another bite of harsh reality.

'Still, you aren't chosen it like this, I like two fruits tastes orange and grapes but my mom only let me choose one!

I choose grapes, because it's the best to my likings. The conclusion here is the orange are liked by that kid, but still not chosen. The word "like" is the only compensation to you, for not having a much worse situation.

I hope you get what I mean... You better not think about it and divert your attention to something else, or somewhere else. Don't lower your WORTH by comforting yourself with the words 'He said he liked me.' You are much better than that.'

Once a love lesson was given her walls came up and she didn't want to let anyone back in, though she still hoped for a message, she knew in her heart none would come. She couldn't even be bothered to fake a smile. Yes, it was a difficult time with the lack of sleep and not eating but it built not only a shield around her heart but taught a hard lesson in life and love.

April shook her head dispelling her thoughts and imagery of the past. She didn't want to dwell or feel that way again ever. Her college friend in her past life had given her a spoonful of reality and it was hard to swallow. She even waited for James and her college friend called her a dumb woman over and over but she couldn't help it.

A friendship night out with Dean, Casey and Micheal would be fun and much needed. Who needed the heartbreak again in this lifetime, once was enough. So with her memories of the past, she thought through her feelings and set herself back to the task of Deans condo.

Before she knew it, it was clocking off time and she could leave for the day. She said goodbye to all her new colleagues and friends. She drove home on autopilot and somehow ended up back in her condo. She stripped off and went to the bathroom and filled up the bath.

She didn't realise thinking too much about her past self had made her feel the sadness of being alone again. She had no one to say good morning beautiful or how's is your day?.

She shook her head and submerged herself in the bathwater. Trying to wash away the loneliness. Once she was done, she dried and dressed in her robe she went to her art room and sat down to stare at an empty canvas before she felt the urge to paint her feelings. This was a release for her. Hours passed like in her past life hunger evaded her and she sat back looking at the painting.

It was of an angel falling into darkness. Sighing she left the painting to dry and went to bed with paint on her cheek and fingers. She curled up in bed and willed herself to sleep. She would get up tomorrow and put that shield around herself.

Beep Beep

April was still awake staring at her alarm clock, she hit the mute button and got up and got changed for the day. Sleep evaded her, she had spent too much time yesterday thinking of her past loneliness.

She quickly put on light makeup with her signature red lip and eyeliner and decided to wear a black pencil skirt and black blouse for today she rushed out and grabbed her phone, handbag and heels for the day.

Rushing out she bumped into a sturdy wall, she looked up and it was Dean happily smiling down at her.