The Straw Sage: Metamorphosis of the Profane

Liu Zhenhan swiped his sleeve across tear-streaked cheeks, vision obscured by saline residue as he scavenged desiccated bamboo fragments. The accumulating pyre of combustible detritus transformed the Bixi's remains into conflagration of mythic proportions, crackling combustion acoustics competing with his operatic lamentations.

A shrill osprey cry pierced the mourning ritual. Liu's tear-blurred gaze tracked the circling familiar before tactical instincts triggered abrupt pivot - Helen's battered form materialized through dissipating smoke.

Her porcelain complexion bore livid contusions, crimson abrasions marring alabaster skin. Sacerdotal vestments hung in tattered streamers, moss-stained and mud-caked. The vision of vulnerability shattered Liu's stoicism, crushing her against his breastplate with infantryman's ferocity.

"Madwoman!" he rasped through pharyngeal spasms. "Vertical descent of twenty meters! Were gravitational physics butchered in your priestly curriculum?"

The vixen's trembling digits traced his soot-streaked features. "Seismic detonations reverberated through bedrock! I envisioned tectonic deities devouring my beloved!" Her lacquered nail examined sanguine residue on his collar. "Why this funereal theatrics?"

"Cosmic jestery!" Liu's gesturing arm encompassed the smoldering colossus. "I bonded this mythical leviathan through Spiritual Hymns, only to witness its immediate expiration! Psychological contamination forces these accursed lacrimal secretions!"

Helen's astute appraisal bypassed histrionics. "Sublunar draconic lineage!" she breathed, detecting residual psionic signatures. "My mentor Cecilia's swamp wyrm exudes identical etheric resonance! Had this Bixi survived, your sacerdotal status would eclipse provincial hierarchy!"

Semantic dissonance interrupted. "'Model'? Since when do chelonians participate in runway exhibitions?"

"Terminology derives from Modao dialect," Helen clarified, executing ritualized genuflection. "Tortoise-kin shamans dominate southern deltas. This specimen's carapace alone warrants hierophantic veneration!"

Liu's derisive snort aerosolized residual tears. "Veneration through cremation? Your theological constructs baffle rationality!"

Meteorological intervention arrived as monsoonal deluge, hissing steam clouds engulfing the pyre. Liu's improvisational rainproofing involved swaddling Helen in phoenix-feather cloak while enduring nature's aqueous mockery.

"Celestial weeping honors your camaraderie!" Helen proclaimed, pirouetting through downpour with mystic fervor.

"Celestial bladder infection more accurately!" Liu grumbled, squelching towards carbonized remains.

Post-conflagration analysis revealed the Bixi's carapace inscriptions glowing faintly through ash patina. Liu's digit traced archaic sigils. "Epigraphic enigma surpassing your linguistic databases?"

Helen's academic rigor surfaced through meticulous paleographic survey. "Neither High Elven runes nor Dwarven ciphers... perhaps pre-Cataclysm proto-script?" Her nail collected carbon samples. "The angular radicals suggest..."

"Mandarin seal script from my terrestrial origin!" Liu's revelation detonated like black powder charge. "This cosmological displacement theory demands..."

Helen's disciplinary repertoire proved comprehensive. "Quadrilingual fluency encompassing Common Trade, Vulgar Latin, and Desert Cant doesn't extend to celestial cartography! Even Hierophant Bromios struggles with Antediluvian stelae!"

Liu's earthshattering confession emerged through clenched dentition. "These glyphs translate as chronological coordinates - celestial longitude/latitude markers! This Bixi originated from my ancestral continuum!"

The revelation's gravity compressed atmospheric pressure. Helen's foxen oculars dilated with epiphanic understanding. "Interplanar migratory patterns! The Bixi's psionic death-throes transmitted cosmic cartography!"

"Precisely!" Liu's excitement manifested through ash-disturbing gesticulation. "These numerals correspond to... wait, you comprehend multidimensional theory?"

"All sacerdotal initiates study Arcanum Cosmologica!" Helen's didactic tone resurfaced. "Though practical applications remain... theoretical." Her digit tapped glowing numerals. "These coordinates could map planar intersections!"

Liu's mindscape erupted with possibilities. "Reverse-engineering this spatial matrix... potential homeward trajectory calculation..." His enthusiasm deflated abruptly. "Requiring advanced astrolabic instrumentation beyond bamboo-tech capacity."

Helen's consolation involved tactile reassurance. "The Bixi's legacy transcends corporeal demise. Its carapace becomes reliquary - psionic resonance chamber for future experiments!"

"Experiments require laboratory infrastructure!" Liu kicked carbonized femur in frustration. "Our technological baseline barely exceeds Neolithic parameters!"

"Intellectual poverty!" Helen's rebuke carried scholastic authority. "The Bixi's neural remnants may retain mnemonic imprints! Through meditative..."

Interpersonal dynamics shifted as Liu's calloused palm silenced further theorizing. "Prioritize survival mechanics! This coordinates revelation demands..." His strategic reassessment dissolved into incoherent muttering.

The rainfall intensified its aqueous assault, transforming ash into bituminous slurry. Liu's pragmatic instincts resurfaced. "Shelter acquisition priority! Your hyperactive cerebellum can philosophize beneath waterproofing!"