Delusional again

"I'm so sorry about this, Liam. Why don't we pick this up some other time." Christian said smoothly, ushering the man who was with him out of his office. Vera walked the man out, and we were left alone.

"What is this about, Mrs Gulf."

"You know." I said simply, trying to curtail my anger. 

He offered me a sit on the white sofa in the middle of the large office, but I refused, wanting to stand while we had this conversation.

"Aren't you cold?" He asked after scanning my outfit.

I pulled the long coat over my body, covering the silk handless top and shorts.

"Why did you do it? How could you do it? That company means a lot to him. I know I wanted to hurt them for abandoning me, but not like this. Not while he's dying." I'd failed to keep my anger at bay. I'd also failed to restrain myself. My voice was loud as I spoke.

"Wanted to? Not 'want to'?"

"He's dying for Christ sake. What kind of monster would hurt a man who is dying."

The words slipped out before I realized what I'd insinuated. I watched Christian's face, he was no longer smiling. 

I feared I'd hurt him with my words.

"I didn't—I— what I'm trying to say is, we had an arrangement." My voice was softer now. "The revenge against them should have been by my hands."

Christian walked out from behind his table, then settled on the single sofa. I was still standing, just a few inches from where he sat.

"You think I got revenge on the Callisto's in your stead? Alora, this was simply business." His tone was cold. "I saw a company failing, and I bought it. If you want to be angry at someone, be mad at his board of directors who kicked him out even though he was dying. Be mad at his wife who convinced his board to sell the company to me. I'm just a businessman."

I was wrong again. I'd assumed he'd done this for me. That he'd taken revenge on them for me. 

He didn't do this because of me, and it made my heart ache.

Why, though? Wasn't this a good thing? Just moments ago I was furious that he had done this to hurt them. And now he was saying it was a business deal. So I had nothing to feel guilty about toward dad, right? 

I shivered, the cold I'd refused to acknowledge now taking over my body. 

There was a knock on the door and Vera walked in with a cup of hot tea on a tray. She placed the cup on the table in front of Christian and left.

I was still standing in place, embarrassed at my outburst. I'd gotten it all wrong and had accused him of something he didn't do. Now I didn't know how to face him.

Christian stood up, and I watched him walk to a small wardrobe just beside his table. He opened it, and when he turned toward me, he was holding a neatly folded white wool blanket with matching mittens on top. 

"Sit down." He commanded, and this time, I obeyed.

Christian lowered himself beside me on the two-seater sofa, his presence making the space feel even smaller. Without a word, he slipped the mittens onto my hands, the warmth of his fingers brushing against mine. My breath hitched, a different kind of shiver coursing through me.

He spread the blanket over my legs, then handed me the cup of tea.

"Thank you," I said when I took it from him.

When did he ask for this?

The warmth of the tea seeped through the cup, calming the chill that had settled deep in my bones.

"I only bought the company to save it. They've been having financial difficulties for a while now, because… well, I can't tell you that. They wanted to sell, and the initial buyer planned to break it up, and sell it off in pieces." 

I didn't expect him to explain his business to me.

"Do you really think I'm that horrible? That I'd take a man's sweat and blood from him when he's dying just for revenge?"

The question shocked me. Did he care what I thought of him? He'd always made it seem like what I thought about him didn't matter. Actually, Christian wasn't the kind of man to care what anybody thought about him. 

"I'm sorry. When Leah came, she said all sorts of things and I just lost it. 

"Leah? Since when have you been friends? What she says now matters?"

Since she showed me the pictures of you and Clara.

"It doesn't. I just—"

"I'm sorry to disturb you, sir, but your three o'clock has been waiting in the conference room for ten minutes now. I can't stall any longer." Vera said.

"I have to get back to work now, Mrs Gulf. I'll have your driver take you home." He said as he walked toward the door.

I nodded.

"Alora, next time, wear thicker clothes. No matter how angry you are, you should take care of yourself."

His eyes lingered on me for a few seconds. Something flickered, or I thought I saw something flicker. I wondered what he was thinking as his eyes bore into me.

Without saying another word to me, he left the room.

***

I didn't have to try to force myself to sleep that night, unlike many other nights. My angry outburst had caused me to catch a cold, and the cold medicine Elizabeth had given me made me drowsy. The warm blanket over my body cocooned me. Briefly, I imagined it was Christian's arms, holding me as I drifted off to sleep. 

The thought made my eyes open wide immediately. 

"Enough, Alora. Stop thinking about him." I said to myself.

I had not stopped thinking about Christian since this afternoon. The way he explained what really happened with dad's company. The way he made me feel like what I thought about him mattered. Like I mattered. Or at least my opinion of him.

And now, it was haunting me. 

As much as I tried to put Christian out of my mind, his actions towards me made it very difficult. He so effortlessly took care of me, giving me whatever I needed even before I would ask. Just thinking about it alone was making me feel a certain type of way.

I'd always had a crush on him. Even when I knew I shouldn't. But these days I was beginning to wonder if it was… love?

Have I fallen for Christian Gulf?

The ruthless billionaire who was always breaking my heart with his cruel words. Who was kind to me. Who knew how to take care of me. Who looked handsome in everything—

Fuck. What am I thinking? This couldn't possibly be happening. 

Christian didn't like me. He'd made it abundantly clear, on many occasions, that he didn't like me. That he had no interest whatsoever in me. 

But as much as i knew it would hurt to put myself out there again, I dared to think that maybe he was scared of falling in love. 

With me.

Delusional. My brain yelled. I was being delusional again. Having expectations I knew he could never meet.

I shook my head so violently, I felt an ache. I fell back on my bed and allowed the medicine to take me to sleep.