Progressing to Knighthood

For three days, I ignore everything not dealing with my specific classes and chores. I was happy to not have the information booth again. I didn't mind joining the chefs either. Having skills of many types is a much better option. The more skills the better. I make sure to get myself listed as desired for cooking. Should increase my chances there.

Ignoring my mother was the hardest part. I had to constantly be doing something important. The king didn't visit. Mom came every day for a few hours. And each day there was always some reason she came up with to talk to me. I always had to find a better reason so she had to leave before I could be involved. It was difficult. But I'm used to difficult when it comes to my parents. If I keep it up, though I know what will happen. I'll be called to them.

That a problem for my future self. I truly am aiming here. I am not going to slack in my skills. It's much better than being trapped in my room all day every day.

Word is getting around about my history, my real history. About my climbing the side of the castle, traveling alone in the capital, constantly getting my tracer spell active, etc etc. Most are shocked when they hear my truths, although my actions suggest I have more training than I seem to. My looks are cursed to be subpar and that includes the denial of how strong I really am. I look weak even if I'm not.

Training gets easier. I don't deny the knights' desires for me to show off. I may miss more than they'd like, but I don't deny their requests. I try my best no matter what. They want me proving myself.

Why?

That's the real question. There are more things going on than I know about. But being a trainee won't give me any answers. I have a better chance now than before, but that's not a big difference.

I groan when my door is knocked upon at dawn. Since I've been so busy, this leaves the only real time to get bothered by someone. I wish I could ignore it, but that's not how it works.

I throw open the door to see Lucas standing there with his grin wide. "What's up, Lucas?"

He holds out the paper flyers. "We're going into the capital today. Your pretty face will get everyone interested in becoming a knight."

I stare at him. The only way anyone would call me 'pretty face' is if they consider it subpar or they can cancel illusion curses. "Lucas..."

He eyes me and then the flyers. "If everyone know you're a knight now, it will increase of the number applying."

I exhale. "Sure. If you have permission. Is anyone else joining our flyer task?"

Lucas weighs things. "I should ask Daniel." He nods. There is no good bye, just his grin.

I lean on the door frame watching Lucas turn the corner. I'll be marked information booth then. But I don't think I'd mind wandering the capital with a guard. People don't know my face. Because everyone sees me a little bit different. "Why did I get the subpar curse anyway?" Minus the fact Mom is that good looking and they could've assumed things.

Doesn't matter. I close my door to ready myself.

Daniel knocks and enters before I can answer him. He looks behind him a moment before closing us in my room. "Hey. Did Lucas come by?"

"Yeah." I finish readying.

Daniel watches the door for a long moment. "Hey... Do you hate Lucas using you for his own gain?"

I stare at Daniel. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to be used by pretty much everyone around me. I've come to accept that."

Daniel stares at me for a long moment. Then he nods. "I guess that's been your life."

"Yeah." I double check myself in the mirror. Maybe I can ask for my look curse to be removed. Odin didn't offer anything else in his last letter. It was a bunch of nonsense like our letters normally are. I wish it was a code or something, but nope. And Ingrid hasn't visited either. She sent a letter to me. I can't respond to her letter. Not that she was asking for a response. Just saying she can't give me magic training. Who knows why.

Twenty at latest for magic training. I should be able to manage something before then. For now, I can focus on what I can do. "I was thinking of trying the guard ritual with my sword later. Want to be in the range?" I close and lock my door once we're out of the room.

Daniel follows me to breakfast. "Sure."

"Ryan wants to be flying nearby. He should be marked allied. We'll be testing what the ritual can do even without the artifact. My sword is magical enough that using magic flow should get me somewhere."

"You're constantly trying to improve. I'll call it impressive. I wish it was for a different reason."

I frown. I'm trying to find myself under all the expectations and pressure. Better I work on things than let everyone drag me around. "It's just a guess. Can't say anything will happen."

"Without the artifact in question."

"Yeah." I've gotten it to work before. On my twelfth birthday I used the scepter to put the entire capital on guard. It was to prove I could use the spell. It's normally an expectation for the twelfth birthday. Can't say if Xavier will manage. My father did. "Honestly... I may be good enough to earn white status."

"Yeah... Sorry that they're pushing you so hard." Daniel rubs his head. "I thought they were pushing Callie and me... But..." Daniel hisses.

Every single class, I am being set up to pass on the first day there. My test is always extra hard come to find out and several of them I did succeed at on the first day. The knights are almost aiming me to beat everyone's times.

I... I wish I was less skilled. But much of what is expected of me... I pushed myself to manage prior. Or I watched it before. Or I really keyed in on it before. My escape desires gave me a leg up in a situation most struggle somewhere.

All I struggle with is my lacking magic access. Still. I have my mana flow abilities. I just fail at everything magic related. Even the basic stuff. Jessica moved on to a more advanced lesson. I'm still stuck at 'make it activate on purpose'. It's Magic 101. I'm stuck at 101.

That won't change as far as I know. I need my magic to be released from the curse first. If I truly had trouble, I could ask the magic to work anyway. It always does something even if it isn't exactly what I want. Studying magic can help my future. It won't help my now.

"Breakfast is always a good way to begin every day." Daniel rubs his stomach while walking with me to the line.

I laugh. When we're given such ease, breakfast should definitely be listed top priority. I won't skip this.