Thoughts

I close my eyes imagining my past events happening to Jessica. She was safe in Warton. But once she became a knight... "We handled the princess's issues."

"Telligence is gone, yes, but they did impact most of our houses. I am sorry to say you are walking into the title with a lot of corruption." Father's whispers has me shivering. "I have done things, but it was never enough."

"Do you blame Grandfather?"

"I think I blame my grandfather more than my father. She was born first, picked a strong husband to marry, and was still denied the country. Everything she did... Only to be pushed aside because of my grandfather's assumption that a woman should never lead."

"I am going to make sure gender is removed from everything. Medical conditions cannot be, though."

"Exactly. Since fertility is a requirement for nobles, it is easy to mark a woman unable to do things just because she bleeds on a monthly cycle."

Whereas a commoner could just curse themself, a noble cannot. And it truly can impact a mission to have blood flowing freely. There has been no way to cancel the bleeding requirements while doing nothing to fertility. It is a cycle for a reason. When a woman is only a girl, thus before the bleeding cycle begins, she is too young for anything. After the cycles ends, she is consider too old for much of anything else, although there is a chance on that side at least. Knights retire before fifty normally. It is more common for them to retire in their thirties allowing for a full life after serving.

"There is only so much we can do. Even if it is natural, it does not make it easy. I have seen times where even Hydrangea stepped from battle due to her cycles. If it can take down such an outstanding knight, we have no choice but to see it for what it is."

Mom reaches for my hand. "Offering the curse is all we can do. We cannot curse those we require to give birth to children though." Which is the heads of house and royalty. "Even noble knights are unable to gain access if there is no an heir of the house already approved of."

I look to Jessica. She'll be denied. We will be expected to have children. In the future, they'll even place spells to increase our chances. She'll be guarded during the pregnancy as well. Kept safe because she'll carry the next generation. "Sorry." I cannot stop the word.

She seems shocked when looking at me. "Why?"

"A lot of things." I sigh.

Father taps the table. "Don't think too much about it. We are going to do everything we can to stabilize things."

"Yes." I look to Raida. She may have the head seat, but she hasn't acted as if she's really there. I gave her my approval. She's a capable knight who fought through a lot of bloodshed to reached this point. Knights have a high death rate. Is there a way to counter that?

Father stands up drawing the attention of everyone. "I am happy to have such a happy meal with the new house. It is normal procedure to join a new house multiple times through the first few years. Thank you for offering us the support during such times." He won't mention why most new heads need royal visits so often.

I know. I grew up like this. A new house always has trouble that the bonus support becomes required. It looks like tradition, but it is actually about stability. Or a test.

"Let it go." Jessica squeezes my hand. The meal is joyous over all. People died, but for those who lived... "Thomas?"

"Yeah. If the resurrection spell isn't used in the first few minutes..." It won't work the way desired. "William denied me sight of the battle because he knew what I'd do."

"Ask the magic to save everyone." Jessica leans on my shoulder. "I'm glad he stopped you."

I sigh. I wasn't able to do anything. Because of the danger. "Part of me is upset I can't ask the magic to listen now."

"You still can. But an already create spell would be easier on you than just asking the magic. That's why there is a spell listed next to every time the magic listened before. It's easier to follow the same path. But how are spells created?"

I blink looking at her. "Wait... That... I... It was basically a spell?"

"Yes. The blockade spell allows for you to ask the magic to act on your behalf. You'll notice the spells will be easier on you now."

"I want to learn how to be a healer."

"You'll learn next to Callie. Richie really is a good teacher. He's taught me things too. He is pure support." Jessica bites her lip before leaning closer to whisper into my ear, "He is not safe to say things to."

I freeze catching Jessica's eyes. She ducks her head. "He's..." A strong support mage. A healer. "Why?"

"Got me." Jessica shrugs. "Still, your trainer does not need to be non threatening." She nudges me. "Focus on what's before you. I have your back."

"Okay. Thanks, Jessica." I look at the crowd. Food is coming out. Good timing. That will give me time to weigh these thoughts. I'm walking into title... With... Threats everywhere...

Will I need to switch out nearly all the heads of house? Should I really look into every treasonous mark with serious intent? I hate this. "Jessica can you make sure I don't pick escape?"

"I don't think I can stop you."

"No. You can. Just grab my hand before I flee. It'll be enough. I don't want you to face anything just because I get cold feet." I glance to my father again. Being king is a big job. I'm not ready for it. Will I ever be?

"Focus on the meal. We can take a walk afterwards." Jessica offers me a smile.

"Okay. That would help." I need to test my stamina now that I have added weight on me.