Chapter 9: The Fear of Distance

As my third year in university approached its end, a new chapter of my academic journey was about to begin my industrial training (IT). It was supposed to be an exciting time, a chance to gain practical experience and take a break from the heavy academic load. But with Dami in my life, even moments meant to bring joy carried an undertone of anxiety.

The announcement for our industrial training came just before the end of the first semester of my third year. My course adviser explained the opportunities ahead, and I started thinking about the best place for my training. Almost immediately, my mind went to Lagos. My aunt lived there, and the city offered better opportunities than my hometown. I knew I'd learn a lot there and besides, I hadn't seen my aunt in a while.

But I also knew this decision would upset Dami.

When I told him about my plans to go to Lagos for the training, I saw his expression change. His face tightened, his eyes filled with that familiar fear and suspicion I'd come to know so well.

"Why Lagos?" he asked, his voice already carrying an edge.

"I'll stay with my aunt," I explained calmly. "And the opportunities for my IT are better there. You know that, Dami."

He didn't seem convinced. "Lagos? Where you'll be surrounded by guys? Where I won't be able to see you? Lena, you know how I feel about this."

I sighed. "Dami, you're overthinking this. I've been with you through my first and second years. I never left you then why would I leave you now? I love you, and that won't change just because I'm in a different city for a few months."

He nodded slowly, but his silence spoke louder than words. Even when he said he understood, I could see the doubt lingering in his eyes. Still, I hoped that by the time I finished my exams and went home, he'd be more accepting of my decision.

When my first semester exams finally ended, I traveled back home, eager to spend time with my family and see Dami. As soon as I settled in, I called him.

"Let's meet up," I said, hoping we could finally have a proper conversation about my travel plans.

When we met, he was surprisingly calm. We finally met, and for the first time in a while, there was peace between us. He reached for my hand and looked me in the eye.

"I love you, Lena," he said softly. "You're all I've got. You make my whole world complete. I can't imagine a day without you."

Those words hit me right in the heart. They were the words I'd longed to hear for so long words that made me feel seen and cherished.

"I love you too, Dami," I whispered, my voice thick with emotion. "I believe things will get better. I've always wanted to be with you forever. You make me complete, Dami. I love you so, so much."

We held each other tightly, and for a brief, beautiful moment, it felt like we were the couple we used to be before the fights, before the accusations, before the pain.

In the days leading up to my trip, Dami surprised me with a thoughtful gesture.

"I sent you some money," he said over the phone one evening. "Get a few things for yourself and keep the rest for pocket money."

I was touched. It was moments like this that made me question everything the toxic fights, the suspicion, the pain. How could someone so thoughtful and loving also be the person who hurt me the most?

The night before my departure, my heart felt heavy. As much as I was looking forward to the new experience in Lagos, I couldn't shake the fear that distance would only make things worse between us. Still, I held on to hope. Maybe this would be a chance for us to grow to miss each other and appreciate our relationship more.

On the morning of my trip, Dami insisted on taking me to the park.

"I want to make sure your vehicle leaves safely," he said. "I'll stay until you're on your way."

As we drove to the park, I felt grateful for his care. Despite our struggles, there was still love here — and I wanted so badly to believe that love would be enough.

When it was time for me to board the vehicle, Dami pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Call me as soon as you get there," he whispered. "And please, don't forget about me."

"I could never forget about you," I promised. "I love you, Dami."

"I love you too," he said, his voice soft but filled with emotion.

As the vehicle pulled out of the park, I watched him through the window until he was out of sight. My heart ached, but I told myself we would be okay. Distance couldn't break us — not if we held on to the love we shared.

When I finally arrived in Lagos, I was exhausted. The journey had been long and stressful, and by the time I got to my aunt's house, all I wanted to do was sleep. But even in my exhaustion, I didn't forget my promise. I pulled out my phone and called Dami.

"I'm here," I said as soon as he picked up.

"Thank God," he replied. But his next question came quickly and with it, the anxiety I had hoped to leave behind. "Why did it take you so long to call me?"

I closed my eyes, already feeling the tension creep in. It seemed that no matter where I went, the weight of Dami's suspicion would always follow me.

The first few days in Lagos were a mix of excitement and stress. My aunt welcomed me warmly, and I quickly adjusted to the fast-paced city life. My training hadn't started yet, so I spent my days helping my aunt around the house and exploring the neighborhood.

But Dami's constant calls made it hard for me to enjoy anything fully.

"Where are you?" he'd ask, his voice sharp. "Who's there with you?"

If I didn't pick up immediately, his messages would start pouring in:

Dami: Why aren't you answering?

Dami: Are you with someone?

Dami: You've changed, Lena.

I tried to reassure him, but the accusations kept coming. It felt like I was walking on eggshells, always afraid of saying the wrong thing and sparking another fight.

One evening, after a long day out with my aunt, I returned home to find a string of missed calls and angry messages from Dami. When I finally called him back, his voice was cold and distant.

"Where have you been?" he demanded. "Why didn't you pick up your phone?"

"I was out with my aunt," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "My phone was in my bag"

"Lena, do you think I'm stupid?" he interrupted. "You're already changing. I knew this would happen the moment you left."

My heart sank. I felt the familiar sting of frustration and sadness but more than that, I felt tired. Tired of always having to prove my loyalty. Tired of his constant doubt. Tired of feeling like no matter what I did, it would never be enough.

That night, as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, I wondered how much longer I could keep this up. I loved Dami I truly did but love wasn't supposed to feel this heavy.

Still, I stayed. Because I kept hoping that one day, the Dami I fell in love with the one who held my hand and promised forever would come back.

But deep down, I knew that hope was slowly slipping away.