1 Monologue and Life Summary

Monologue and Life Summary

Hello, I hope you like it. This is my first work.

"Alright. Looks like I've been reborn again. Yes, you heard that right. And you might be wondering, why 'again'…? Well, let me explain.

I, a handsome young man (self-proclaimed), lived a very happy life on Earth. Which Earth? Well, don't ask me, I have no idea. All I know is that on the Earth I lived in, I was just an average guy who liked going to the movies.

Sorry, I'm getting sidetracked. In short, I died on Earth. In the most cliché way possible: yes, obviously, an evil truck got in my way, and boom! I woke up in the great world of Marvel.

Thankfully, it was the MCU and not the comics' multiverse madness. But yeah, that's where I ended up, and guess what… the cherry on top: I reincarnated—or maybe possessed, that might be the right word—the one and only Doctor Stephen Strange. Crazy, right?

Anyway, back to the point: I was reborn as Strange, from birth. I don't know how or why, nor who put me here. But, of course, I had to prepare myself for what was coming.

And so I did. I saved Strange's sister from drowning, studied as much as I could, and helped my new family invest in enough company shares so they wouldn't have to work and could live comfortably.

Honestly, by the time I was ten, people thought I was some kind of super genius. But let's move on...

When I turned thirteen, I told my parents and sister that I was going to become a monk. Hahaha, you should've seen their faces when I said it—though my sister mocked me about going bald and all that. They couldn't change my mind, though.

At this point, I realized I had spent my entire childhood without friends, without a girlfriend, without even going outside unless it was necessary. Damn, I should've enjoyed my life more before heading to that damn monastery.

Anyway, after convincing my parents and all that, I did it. And you're probably wondering: why a monastery? Come on, don't be dumb, we all know which monastery… That's right, Kamar-Taj. But obviously, I wasn't going to make the whole trip to Nepal and all that. I went straight to the New York Sanctum, where, of course, they didn't want to let me in.

Until I said the magic words: "Ancient One, I know you're listening; if you don't let me in, I'll change the entire timeline. Believe me, I know everything that will happen for at least the next fifty years, and with the Eye of Agamotto, you can verify it."

Phew, now that I think about it, I really took a huge risk. I mean, I had nothing to lose—I already died once. Maybe just a bit of sadness for my new parents and sister.

But I was ready for an all-or-nothing gamble.

And so it happened. The doors opened, and out came the shine of a very well-maintained bald head, by the way. How do you even take care of a bald head? I don't know, but there it was. The most powerful known being on Earth, scrutinizing me. And since this is my internal monologue, I'll summarize what was said.

It was obvious. She asked how I knew everything, tested me to prove I knew about the future, blah blah blah.

Of course, I told her I wasn't Strange, with a slight hope that she knew how to send me back. But obviously, that was impossible—setting aside the fact that I died there.

Not even she knew why I was here, and what's more, I had merged so well with Strange's soul that she hadn't even noticed until I was standing right in front of her.

Well, in short, she told me I couldn't train at Kamar-Taj yet, that I should come back after the Avengers' battle and all that. So yeah, it was easy to convince her. How? Easy—I cut the tendons in my hand. Damn, that hurt, but it worked… and WOW! You should've seen the Ancient One's face. Hahaha, surprising people is starting to grow on me.

So, after seeing my… what's the word? Stupidity—yes, that's it—after healing me, she agreed to let me enter earlier than expected, but with the obvious condition that I wouldn't be allowed to leave until I became the new Sorcerer Supreme.

Damn, now that I think about it, that damned bald woman tricked me from the very start.

Well, and that's how I got into sorcerer training, blah blah blah… I'll skip the years of training and all that because it was boring. But what I will say is that in just five years, I was already on the same level as monks who had spent their entire lives there.

And yeah, I know, everyone will say that the real Strange took less time. And obviously, yeah, that's how plot development works for the main character. Haven't you seen those villains who train for fifty years just to be defeated by the new protagonist who started a few months ago, just because of power-ups?

Well, I asked the Ancient One about that, and her answer was that it was due to a lack of challengers. You see, Strange faced multiple threats, even Dormammu himself, thousands of times. Meanwhile, I was just training with monks all day, every damn day.

Ugh, I should've at least gone out with a girl before locking myself in here.

You might be wondering what happened to Strange's girlfriend. The truth is, I felt a little bad—I stole his life, his family. I couldn't do the same with the love of his life. Or maybe that's just the excuse I tell myself since I can't even leave this place.

Anyway, the Ancient One took care of moving some things—or people—around so that the timeline wouldn't change too much. So, I'm sure Palmer must have already met a doctor who fulfills the same role as Strange, and she'll eventually marry her destined fiancé, as she's supposed to in this timeline.

Damn, I went off track again… So, I trained and trained and just kept training until the Battle of New York finally arrived. That's when I got to leave to protect the monastery—and, hehe, I sneaked out for a bit to see the Avengers.

But it was a bad idea. Damn, I got distracted staring at Black Widow, and when I saw her, I thought a goddess had come to take me away. But hey, it's not like I'm a degenerate—come on, I lived over ten years in a monastery, what did you expect? And then, little Hawkeye saw me and alerted the others, so I had to approach them.

I have to say, my entrance was awesome—even for me. I levitated in with my magic cape, put on my most manly voice, and said, "Looks like you need some help. Mind if I lend a hand?" Hahaha, cool, right?

Anyway, Cap accepted my help. I even joined in on the team pose for the mental promotional poster I made, and there I was, fighting alongside my favorite heroes.

Spells, arrows, bullets, shields, hammers, and a Hulk were flying everywhere. Obviously, I held back a bit—I could've closed the portal easily, but I didn't want to mess with the timeline too much.

I already knew the Ancient One was going to punish me, but in my defense, she can see the future, so if she didn't stop me when I left, I can take that as consent, right? Right? I hope so—I don't want to go back to scrubbing toilets like when I made Mordoo bald for eating the pudding my sister sent.

Alright, so while I was distracted watching Loki get taken away and befriending Hulk—hey, he's a good guy, kind of like a kid if you take away the destructive rage, excessive steroids, and green skin—I even taught him to do a fist bump. When he tried it with Thor, Thor went flying.

Then I got a call from the Ancient One, so I said my goodbyes and had to turn down Tony's invitation to eat Indian food, telling him I'd probably be punished with bathroom duty. Under their astonished stares, I left.

And yeah, that's how it went. I was stuck cleaning bathrooms for three years, but at least the Ancient One took pity on me and let me go out to see the superheroes—as long as I restrained my powers. She even gave me some kind of device that would alert me if I was close to altering the timeline. Call me crazy, but it looks a lot like the one the TVA uses. But hey, if this lets me go outside, great!

That's how I started going out occasionally to help the Avengers. They even gave me an honorary Avenger medal. Since I didn't spend much time with them, I mostly just hung out with Hulk to help him unwind. I have to admit, I like Hulk—Banner, not so much. Banner is kind of depressive and pessimistic, but of course, it's not his fault. Luckily, we got along well. He was happy I helped him keep Hulk from destroying one or two countries, and Hulk had fun. Two birds with one stone.

That's how the years passed: cleaning toilets and occasionally fighting Hydra with the Avengers. I helped out during the Age of Ultron, randomly destroying robots. I met Wanda, Vision, and Quicksilver. I even tried to save Quicksilver, but just as I was about to, my timeline device went off, and I had to let things play out. A shame.

Then came Civil War. That fight was pointless. They even asked me whose side I was on, which annoyed me so much that I beat them all up and left. My mind was elsewhere, mainly because the Ancient One's death was approaching.

I was dying to ask if it was really necessary for her to die, but before I could say anything, she told me, "Yes, it's time. I wanted to do it a long time ago, but I had to make sure you didn't destroy time itself."

I guess she just wanted to rest. After all, she lived for a long time, even darkening her soul to endure longer. And in the end, she died in the dumbest way. For someone so powerful, getting decapitated by a weakling is ridiculous.

So, I became the new Sorcerer Supreme. I kicked Kaecilius's ass, and when I got ready with the Time Stone for an exhausting battle with Dormammu, I was shocked to find that I completely overpowered him. I didn't destroy him or anything, but I could hold my own. That's when I realized that after suppressing my powers for so long to avoid messing with the timeline, I had seriously underestimated myself.

After that, I made Dormammu retreat and returned to enjoy my freedom. But damn it, the Ancient One tricked me again. Now, as Sorcerer Supreme, I have so many duties that I can't even leave. Worse than before. That bald woman must be laughing her head off—even though she's already dead.

At least now I don't have to worry about the timeline and all that, since I control time now. Mwahaha. Well, not exactly, but you get the idea… let me enjoy it.

Where were we? Oh, right—Thanos and all that. Well, basically, I kicked his ass while the Avengers watched in shock. Since Vision didn't die, I convinced Wanda to join Kamar-Taj. The others made peace, and then the TVA showed up to bother me. But I kicked their asses and sent them home.

Of course, they came back to nag me about not creating variations and blah blah blah… I had to compromise a little, and time passed while I trained Wanda to be the next Sorcerer Supreme. It would be fun to see her bald.

Until the day finally came. Just when I thought I could retire, get a girlfriend—at least go on a date—she arrived.

She was some sort of super-mega-powerful Wanda from another timeline. Apparently, she was seriously looking for a missing Vision. All Wandas are so obsessive; it scares me to think what would happen if they ever broke up, though I doubt that will ever happen.

Anyway, this Wanda was much stronger than the one who killed all the Illuminati, so I had to give it my all. Literally. I think the solar system might be different now.

You're wondering why? Because I exploded. Yeah, you heard that right—I had to blow myself into a thousand pieces along with the Darkened Wanda. Yeah, I know, I suck at nicknames, but what can I do? I'm about to die. So, to stop her—boom! I exploded.

Damn, I died again without ever enjoying my youth. I didn't even get a girlfriend in the end. Just when I thought I could leave everything to our Wanda and escape into the world or the galaxy… shit, shit, shit.

Anyway, they say that if you stay a virgin past 30, you become a wizard. I died at 40… but I was already the Sorcerer Supreme… Shit, then what am I? Some kind of super wizard sorcerer or something? Ah, whatever.

So, you're probably wondering why this long monologue summarizing my life if I'm supposed to be dead, right? Well, it's because of what I'm seeing in front of me.

Yeah, that's right—seeing. Because apparently, I'm not dead. Just to clarify, I'm looking at the tiny hands I now have and the two giant elderly people standing before me. Looks like I've been reborn. Well, at least I seem to know where I am.

Some kind of psycho must have overheard that "super wizard sorcerer" thing, because yeah. I'm in a world known not just by me but by everyone, and it's none other than Harry Potter's world.

And how do I know? Because right in front of me, there's an elderly couple—way too old to still be alive—staring at me. They must be around 500 or 700 years old, and with the magical energy I can feel radiating from all the objects around, their French language, and because there's a damn Philosopher's Stone sitting right on the fireplace, only one last name comes to mind… Flamel!

By the way, what kind of lunatic leaves the Philosopher's Stone on top of a fireplace? What if it burns—wait, I just realized what I was about to say is nonsense, so let's just leave it at that.

Well, it looks like this life won't be boring this time around.

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