Chapter 6: The First Existence

With the memory of his wish, something else surfaces—something beyond time and space.

Adi remembers his very first existence.

Perhaps this is what they call enlightenment. The grand realization, the lifting of the veil. But Adi is different. He does not feel the ecstasy described in scriptures. He does not weep at the weight of revelation, nor does he dissolve into detachment. He does not wish to escape, nor does he desire to renounce the world.

"Then what is enlightenment?" he asks himself.

Now that he stands on the threshold of knowing, he realizes—enlightenment is not an end, but a beginning. It is the first glimpse into the truth of his existence.

And the first truth is this—he never came to be. The idea of a singular beginning is a delusion. He has always existed, in one form or another. But his sense of self—that was born. And that is where it all started.

But when he first existed, he was not human.

No, he was not even a creature. He was something else entirely—an entity without a name, without awareness, without thought. A presence without a self.

And now, the memories of a different cycle begin to awaken.

A cycle that is not this one.

A cycle that existed before he ever became human.

A cycle whose final destination was the realization of self.

And suddenly, he understands.

The sages and scriptures speak of 84 lakh (8.4 million) lifetimes before a soul attains a human birth. But Adi sees that it was far beyond that. It was not merely 8.4 million—it was countless lifetimes beyond comprehension.

He lived in forms that had no self-awareness. He existed in moments so brief they were but flickers, and in spans so long they stretched beyond the lifetimes of planets. He has been creatures crawling in the depths of the ocean before the first sun rose upon the world. He has been beings that flew across skies no longer remembered by history. He has lived as energies that did not take shape, as forces that moved through reality without a name.

And now, as he recalls the weight of these lifetimes, he finally understands why enlightened beings seek moksha—liberation from the cycle.

To endure existence across so many forms, to be born and die for an eternity before even realizing who you are—it is a burden beyond comprehension.

Who would want to continue this cycle?

Who would willingly choose a path even greater than that?

Who would step into a journey longer than the birth and destruction of the universe itself?

Yet, even as these thoughts arise, Adi feels no fear.

Instead, he feels a pull.

He is not one to seek escape.

He has come this far, and now he knows.

His soul has walked the path before, passing through the great cycle of yonis—births into different realms of existence. He has been among the lowest creatures, driven by hunger and survival. He has been among the celestial, basking in divine light. And now, he remembers what it means to have struggled through lifetimes just to reach this state.

And for the first time, he realizes how rare it is to be here.

How precious it is to be self-aware.

How miraculous it is to be human.

The sages, the saints, the enlightened—they have all sought liberation.

But Adi?

He seeks something else.

He seeks to know.

To see.

To experience.

And with that thought, he takes a step forward—into the endless path that stretches before him.