Chapter 12: The Weight of Knowing

Adi stood at the edge of something vast—a choice that few had ever faced. With his awareness deepened, he now understood that existence itself was a weight, heavier than life and karma combined. He could dissolve into nothingness, escape the cycle entirely, or continue forward, unraveling the final truths of being.

But as enlightenment filled him, his past returned like a storm, forcing him to confront the echoes of his actions when he was not self-aware. His newly awakened conscience now questioned him.

"Weren't you cruel? You destroyed worlds. You did horrendous things to countless lives. It was easy to feel nothing when you weren't conscious, but now that you are—don't you feel pity? Don't you feel guilt?"

Adi now understood why so many sages who attained enlightenment chose to enter Mahasamadhi, leaving their bodies behind in an instant. The flood of memories, the weight of past impressions—only a mind stronger than steel could endure it. The struggle was immense, and the thought of letting go haunted him.

People say the enlightened voluntarily leave their bodies, but Adi was beginning to realize that may not always be true. The sheer weight of knowing, of remembering, could crush even the strongest will. Liberation was easy compared to the path he was choosing. Dissolving into the void was effortless—but to stand as a witness to all of creation, to hold the unbearable truth and not break—that was the hardest path.

Yet, Adi was stubborn. He would not relent. The past struck at him, each memory weighing him down, trying to pull him back into the cycle. He had to be careful—if the burden became too great, if karma pulled him under, he would be forced to enter the cycle once more. And he knew—to start this journey again would be torment beyond imagination.

Still, he pushed forward.