Chapter 4

Third person point of view

Aravind walked to the door and was about to open it but halted. He turned around and walked up to Dev. Dev wondered if there was something but Aravind hugged him. Dev also put his hands around Aravind wondering what it was about. " Thank you ". Aravind said and pulled away. Dev understood and smiled. 

He patted Aravind's head. " No mention, cute boy ". Aravind was used to the pat but he rolled his eyes at the nickname. " Will you ever let it go ? " Dev laughed and shook his head. " No way. I will use it even if we become grandpas with hunched backs ". Aravind face palmed. 

As for the history of the nickname; when they were in their 5th standard a new teacher was appointed for Mathematics. She took introduction of all the students one by one and spoke to each of them a little. When she noticed Aravind, she spoke up first. " What is the name of this cute boy ? " She asked with a sweet smile. 

The kid Aravind was a little shameful after being called out like that. Dev would also admit, the kid Aravind was definitely cute. His dimples showed up when he smiled with rosy cheeks. And so from then on he just used that nickname from time to time. Aravind never liked it as much but since it was Dev he just endured in the start. And later on grew immune to it. 

Aravind shook his head knowing he can't do anything about it and walked out of the room. Dev followed him to send him off and locked the door. He then went back to his room. He plopped down on the bed. He didn't know what to think now. He rubbed his neck. He couldn't help but wonder about himself. 

He knew there were lots of names and tags about sexuality and all of that stuff. But he never thought he would one day end up in this situation himself. " Then... am I also gay ? " He muttered to himself but he knew it wasn't particularly true as well. He was too confused. He let out a groan and rubbed his forehead. 

He slept properly on the bed and stared at the ceiling. He didn't even know what to think about or how to know about himself. He glanced around the room and suddenly had an idea. He decided he would try that first and then think of other things. He turned on his side and closed his eyes to fall asleep.

The next day of theirs went by in the same manner. Dev parked his bike and both of them got down. " Bye ". Aravind said wanting to go to his house. " Hey, wait. I actually want to talk to you. Come in ". Dev said and Aravind nodded. They both went up to Dev's room. Dev sat down in his desk chair while Aravind sat down on the bed. 

" So what is it ? " Aravind asked putting his bag aside. " You don't mind if it is a little personal right ? " Dev asked and Aravind frowned. " No ". " I actually wanted to know about how you found out you were gay ". Aravind made an 'ah'. " Just that ? " Aravind asked and Dev nodded. " Why do you look so grim just for that ? " 

Dev shrugged. " I know it is not easy for anyone to come out even if it is someone you are really close with. So I was not sure about your take on the subject ". Aravind chuckled. " Such a nice guy ". Aravind teased making Dev ready to smack him. He sat back a little. " I don't think it is that sensitive of a topic for me. Also, it is you I am talking with so it is kind of fine ". 

Dev nodded and asked. " So ? " Aravind looked up like he was trying to think back. " Remember that time when I liked that girl, Priyanka, when we were in school ? " Aravind asked and Dev nodded. She was the only girl Aravind has ever said he was interested in. And Dev was the only one who knew about this. 

" Well, I did try to approach her and all, well you know it, but it somehow didn't work. You know I gave up after a few trials right. I kept thinking about why it might be that way and I let it go, thinking, maybe, I was doing it because that was all that the guys of that age were thinking ". Dev nodded showing he was listening. 

" And then, after that, one day, I opened porn and came across some gay porn. I was actually just watching it because I thought it was something new and I was curious but after watching it, I realized I was actually attracted to it. And my reason for being single is because I didn't like girls to begin with ". 

Aravind gave a chuckle and Dev smiled too. " After that, I did realize that I liked being with guys ". Dev nodded. " Then... did you have a crush on any guys back then ? " Aravind thought back again. " No probably. I did start noticing guys more after my realization but not really a crush. I thought someone was a really nice guy or handsome utmost ". 

Dev nodded. " So that's it ? " Aravind nodded. " Yep ". " Do you have any friends though ? I mean, you know, not straight people ". Aravind laughed loudly. Dev frowned. " Why do you keep laughing when I am trying to act civilized for once in my life ? " Dev asked folding his hands. Aravind stifled his laughter. 

" I am sorry but it is just so funny when you are just jumping around so carefully when you are usually just blunt and straight forward ". He laughed a little more and finally calmed down. Dev just patiently waited for him to calm down. He couldn't but smile too when he noticed Aravind's dimples which showed up when he smiled. 

Dev snickered. " Done ? " Aravind nodded. " I don't really say friends, but there are Instagram pages from people of our college and there are some things which are said on there, so I do have a bit of a knowledge about those students ". Dev nodded. " Anything else ? " Aravind asked and Dev shook his head. Aravind clapped his hands together. " I'll go then ? " Dev nodded. 

Aravind got up and walked out of the house. Dev sat in his chair and decided to try the thing that Aravind did. He went to his room after watching television for a while with his family after dinner and went back to his room. He turned the lights off and sat down with his laptop in his bed. He connected his earphones to it and stuffed them in his ears. 

He quickly searched for some gay porn. He saw the thumbnails and felt a culture shock. He opened something that looked like it wasn't that absurd. He started watching but as he watched his eyes kept going wide and the only thing in his mind was shock. He couldn't really digest whatever that was happening there and besides that he wasn't really turned on by it. 

He wondered if it was because he didn't know about it before. He quickly shut it off and put all things away and slept on the bed. The after affect was still lingering from the shock. He pushed all the thoughts away and decided to try it once again later to see if it might work. He fell asleep after concluding that.

-MG