Weirdmageddon: Paradiso Delirium!

Naruto—now in Danzo's body—deliberately limped forward, exaggerating his movements like an old man struggling to keep his balance. His voice was full of mock amusement.

"Wow, wowwwww—these old bones are getting rough." He wiggled his fingers, rolling Danzo's shoulders. His stolen Hashirama cell arm twitched, ten Sharingan eyes blinking in unison. "And this thing?" He flexed the grotesque limb, grinning. "A deluxe edition. You really went all out, huh, old man?"

Danzo, trapped in his ghost-like form, was seething.

His voice erupted in a mix of rage and sheer terror.

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND!" His spectral form flickered wildly, eyes wide with unhinged fury. "Didn't you say you wanted a puppet?! Wasn't that the fucking deal?!"

Naruto let out a mock gasp. "Ohhh, you thought I meant a literal puppet? Tsk, tsk." He wagged a finger. "Look, old man, I have a big plan. A real big one. And guess what?"

His grin widened into something truly monstrous.

"I don't need you getting in my way."

Danzo's soul form flickered violently. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOU—"

"See you at the bottom of the cliff!"

Without hesitation, Naruto hurled himself off the edge.

Danzo's screams echoed, his soul watching in helpless horror as his own body was sent plummeting downwards.

The wind howled. The world blurred. And then— IMPACT.

Danzo's soul trembled as he watched his own body slam into the jagged rocks below. The sickening crack of bones snapping filled the air. His left arm was completely shattered, the bone piercing through the skin like a grotesque white dagger. His leg? Twisted unnaturally, bent backward, flesh barely holding it together. The pain—**even though he wasn't feeling it physically—**was visceral.

Danzo's disembodied voice screeched. "YOU MONSTER! YOU PSYCHOPATH!"

Naruto, still grinning, stretched his stolen fingers. "Monster? That's a little rude, old man. I prefer 'harbinger of chaos.'"

Then, **without hesitation—**he twisted Danzo's spine.

Another sickening CRACK.

Danzo's soul howled as he saw his own body jerk unnaturally, the spine snapping like brittle wood.

Naruto cackled, stepping back as Danzo's stolen body twitched and spasmed uncontrollably.

"Add another to the list." Naruto's tone was mockingly sweet. "Old man in a wheelchair."

Before Danzo could process his horror, a group of Root ANBU suddenly appeared, landing just a few feet away. Their masked faces turned toward Naruto—who was still inside Danzo's battered, broken body.

One of them stepped forward. "Danzo-sama, I saw you jump from the cliff! Were you under attack?!"

Danzo's ghostly form flickered violently. He felt hope.

"YES! RESTRAIN THIS MAN! GET ME A YAMANAKA! PUSH THIS MONSTER OUT OF MY BODY!"

He screamed. Nothing happened. The Root ANBU didn't react.

Didn't even look in his direction. Danzo's hope died instantly.

They couldn't hear him. They couldn't see him. He no longer existed.

Naruto slowly rolled his shoulders, letting out a fake cough before shifting into Danzo's voice, perfectly mimicking his persona—except with an added eccentric twist.

"I already obtained Shisui's eye. Deliver me every single research file that Root possesses. Every scroll I've collected. Every fund we have. We have just been discovered—we need to relocate immediately."

The Root ANBU nodded immediately, unquestioning.

"As you command, Danzo-sama."

They moving to execute the order.

Danzo's soul flickered with rage, his form trembling violently. "I WILL KILL YOU! Konoha will stop you, you one-eyed monster! The Third Hokage—Hiruzen—he will bring you to—"

Naruto interrupted with a mocking groan. "Ughhh, let me guess—justice?" He rolled his eyes before breaking into a sharp, toothy grin. "Shiiiit, old man. Shouldn't you be saying, 'For Konoha! For the village!' or something equally patriotic?"

Danzo's ghost snarled.

"But here's the problem."

Naruto's grin widened, his voice lowering to a whisper. "How can you kill me… if you don't exist?"

Danzo soul trembled. And then—SNAP.

Naruto clicked his fingers. Danzo's ghost instantly dissolved. His screams were silenced. His form banished. Gone. For twelve hours.

Naruto exhaled slowly. His grin faded slightly as his manic energy simmered down. He rolled his shoulders, adjusting to his new skin, his new bones, his stolen power. Then, he let out a low chuckle.

"Damn… Bill Cipher, your personality really did infect me."

A pause. His sharp yellow eye gleamed. "And I kinda like it."

Naruto lifted his right arm to the sky, the ten Sharingan eyes embedded in his stolen Hashirama-infused limb spinning wildly as they gazed upon the heavens. His mind flickered back to the countless times he had studied every verse of his existence, reading his own story like a damned manga while he still sat as the Third Seat of the O5 Council of the SCP Foundation. He had despised his former self—the naive fool who became the Seventh Hokage.

A low chuckle rumbled from his throat as his fingers twitched, forming the Izanagi seal with a casual ease. But this—this was not ordinary Izanagi.

Naruto's grin stretched wider, his sharp yellow eye glowing with unholy brilliance. He spoke his Briah chant—but backwards, a twisted recitation of reality-warping madness, imbued with the same sanity-devouring influence as Bill Cipher's Weirdmageddon. The words warped, distorted, shifting in reverse as they crawled through existence.

"!!!noisulli si ytinasa dna ,enim si dlrow sihT !koobyton ym ni selbbircs tub gnihton era ecnetsixe fo swal ehT .gnihtyalp ym si ytilausac ,ekoj a si ytilaer"

"!evitolaos era yeht ,llew eerf evah ot dneterp yeht ,nettI saw tpi rcs ehT .sgnirts rieht ot suoi vitlo bo d ,ecnad steppup ehT"

"!citerap eht fo kni htiw emhtap eht nru B ,sega p eht p ir s 's'tel ,yrots eht egnahc s'teL"

"!yo gano ni eliaw htrae eht ,maercs yks eht ,d eelb noom eht teL .ti os eralced ,sao hc fo tcetihcrA eht I r of ,tlah a ot d ni rg soma c eht f o s rae G"

"!htur t eno ylno si ereht ,dn e eht ni esu aceb—kaer b ,peew ,gniS !snigeb ssen dam fo edar u qse mas ehT" ( translation here ) 

As his words echoed in reverse, the very fabric of the world convulsed. The sky warped, twisting into an unnatural blend of shifting colors. The ground beneath him cracked, pulsating like a living, breathing thing. The very air quivered with madness.

Naruto snapped his fingers.

"Weirdmageddon: Paradiso Delirium!"

The world barrier shattered.

Above him, the sky split apart as the Nightmare Realm invaded reality. Twisted, unnatural colors bled into the heavens, forming a massive cross-shaped distortion that loomed over the horizon. The air vibrated with raw, chaotic energy, warping the very fabric of existence.

Naruto winced, his right arm trembling as his Sharingan-implanted limb began to deteriorate. The ten stolen eyes embedded in his Hashirama-enhanced arm flickered violently before eight of them were instantly destroyed. His flesh sizzled, the remnants of the obliterated Sharingan turning to dust.

Only two remained.

He exhaled, shaking off the discomfort. His power was returning—but only in fragments. His range had increased to 1.5 km, yet he could feel the invisible ceiling, the restriction refusing to let him go further.

He needed more.

Naruto clenched his fist. If he wanted to completely break the world barrier, he would have to obtain higher-grade power.

Three options.

First option: The Tenseigan—residing on the Moon. If Toneri had fully awakened it, then Naruto would be forced to wrestle the celestial power from him. Toneri was no pushover—if he could slice the Moon in half, then this was a 30-70 gamble. And Naruto didn't like betting on chance like that .

Second option: Madara's Rinnegan. Currently residing within Nagato. However… there was no guarantee it had matured properly or could even withstand his Weirdmageddon's properties. A weak Rinnegan was useless.

Third option… The one he refused to consider.

Lambdadelta. Or worse… Bernkastel .

Either of them could erase the multiverse if they wanted.

Asking for their help meant giving them an excuse to toy with him.

And Naruto Cipher wanted to stay as far away from Bernkastel as possible.

He took a deep breath.

With a snap of his fingers, the massive cross-shaped distortion in the sky began to fade. The Nightmare Realm recoiled, retreating slightly as reality tried to reassert itself.

Then—his range dropped.

From 1.5 km down to 1 km.

Naruto clicked his tongue. "Tch. An anchor."

That's what was missing.

It was a fundamental rule for newbie reality warpers—they needed an anchor to stabilize their influence over existence.

An anchor that didn't restrict Naruto , but expanded his reach.

His mind raced. He already had his golden pyramid, a manifestation of his Weirdmageddon's core essence.

But now… he needed to add something more.

His eyes flicked toward the sky.

The cross. A massive, sky-spanning cross-shaped distortion added to his golden pyramid.

If he fused the two together, it could increase his range to 3 km.

And if he added a binding vow on top of that?

It might even double.

Before Naruto could further his thoughts, a sudden presence filled the air. A dozen Root ANBU appeared before him, kneeling in perfect formation, each carrying something in their arms.

One of them spoke. "Danzo-sama, we have brought the items that you requested."

Naruto turned, his yellow eye gleaming in amusement. He barely moved—just a flick of his fingers.

A silent gesture. Dismantle. The Root Anbu turn into bloody Dust

Naruto's smirk widened as he examined his spoils.

Money. Information. Power.

He flicked his wrist, dispersing the last remnants of the Root ANBU he had dismantled into dust. Their existence was meaningless—just more nameless grave markers in Konoha's shadowed history.

Now, onto the loot.

First, a massive jar filled with Hashirama Cells.

"Hah … so this timeline's Danzo was really stockpiling the good shit."

Second, classified documents. Probably detailing Konoha's dirty little secrets—useful leverage.

Third, twenty Sharingan stored in a small jar.

"Spare eyes, huh? Guess the old geezer wasn't satisfied with just ten."

Fourth… Edo Tensei research.

Naruto's eyebrow twitched. Wait. What? Edo Tensei.

Danzo had access to this?

That was Orochimaru's little pet project—or rather, a forbidden jutsu stolen from Tobirama's vault. Either Danzo had a copy from Konoha's archives… or he had been planning something bigger.

Naruto tapped his chin. "Nah… I'll deal with that later."

And finally… the true prize. several neatly stacked boxes.

Thirty million ryo.

Naruto burst out laughing. "Thirty million, And this guy was out here acting broke?!"

His amusement didn't last long. He had work to do.

Without hesitation, Naruto raised Danzo's right arm—still embedded with Hashirama Cells and two remaining Sharingan.

Then, with zero hesitation—

He severed the arm cleanly from the possessed body, letting it drop to the ground with a sickening thud.

Blood gushed from the wound, but Naruto barely flinched.

Danzo's discarded body twitched violently, spasming on the ground. He was still alive, barely—but the soul anchoring was gone, and now the body was just an empty shell waiting for danzo soul return back .

Naruto let out an exaggerated sigh. "Man… the mileage on this thing was ass anyway."

He stepped out of the danzo body , his real form effortlessly emerging, clad once again in his black coat, eye patch, and signature top hat.

His cane tapped against the ground as he turned to inspect the pile of loot.

All of it— The money, the documents, the spare Sharingan, the Edo Tensei research, and, of course, Danzo's severed arm—

Vanished into the Nightmare Realm. Safely stored away.

Naruto glanced down at Danzo's body. It was still twitching.

He grinned. "Dance, old man. Dance 'til you die."

He tipped his hat. "See you in twelve hours. Try not to die before the end of the world , yeah?"

And with that, Naruto vanished— Returning to the Nightmare Realm.

-------------------------------------------------

At night near the Naka River, Shisui sat with his arms crossed, explaining everything to Itachi—the betrayal by both Danzo and Naruto, the theft of his eye, and the bitter realization that his plan had failed. Itachi remained silent, his expression unreadable as Shisui handed him the remaining kotoamatsukami.

"Use it when the time comes," Shisui muttered.

Itachi hesitated for a moment before nodding. "I accept it. What will you do now, Shisui?"

Shisui took a deep breath, then suddenly stood up. Without another word, he leapt toward the river.

"Oi, Shisui!" Itachi called, alarmed.

Shisui's voice was eerily calm. "If I die now, the circumstances might change for the Uchiha Clan. Without me, they lose their trump card." His gaze remained fixed on the water. "I left a note at my home… everything they need to know is there." Then, without another word, Shisui let himself fall into the Naka River.

Itachi's body froze. His mind screamed at him to move, to react, but his body refused. All he could do was watch.

"Shisui…!"

Blood dripped from his eyes. Pain. Grief. Rage. His world twisted, reality itself shaking—mangekyo sharingan awakened within him. His best friend was dead.

Then—

"Itachi, what's wrong?"

Itachi turned sharply. His mangekyo sharingan pulsed dangerously, his breath still ragged from grief.

And there he stood.

Shisui. Still standing. Still breathing.

Itachi's head snapped toward the river. The body was gone. But he had seen it.

His mind reeled. A clone? No—too perfect.

Itachi's voice was hoarse. "You… just died."

Shisui's brow furrowed. "You awakened your mangekyo," he observed, his eyes narrowing.

Itachi's mind raced. What is this? A trick? Some jutsu?

"Shisui," he said carefully, "did you do this… to awaken my mangekyo sharingan?"

Shisui's expression twisted in confusion. "I just arrived here."

He stepped closer—holding something in his palm.

A kotoamatsukami sharingan eye. The one Danzo had stolen.

"Naruto helped me." Shisui's voice was steady, but there was something beneath it—something unreadable.

Itachi's grip on his kunai tightened. "Helped you…?"

Shisui exhaled. His expression darkened.

"Yeah. But we need to talk about Naruto." His fists clenched. "Something about him doesn't feel right at all."

Itachi's fingers tightened around the kunai in his grip. The weight of the conversation settled deep in his chest as the kotoamatsukami given by the fake Shisui suddenly faded into nothingness. His heart skipped a beat.

Shisui's gaze sharpened. "So that fake me was the one who handed it to you?"

Itachi didn't answer immediately. Instead, he took a slow, measured breath. "Before that, I need to confirm something first." His voice was steady, but there was a hint of something else—something that hadn't been there before.

Shisui crossed his arms. "Go on."

"When we talked to Naruto," Itachi started, "it was like…" He hesitated, searching for the right words.

Shisui's expression darkened. "Like he already knew our steps before we even took them. Like he wasn't just predicting our moves—he knew them. Instantly."

Itachi exhaled slowly. "quite ."

Shisui took a step closer. "You need to tell me something, Itachi. I need to confirm something with you."

Itachi nodded, motioning for him to continue.

"Naruto holds the Nine-Tails, right?" Shisui's voice was sharp. "Only that, correct?"

Itachi's brows furrowed. "Yeah. Only that." His mind raced, recalling everything he had ever known about the boy. "His parents… his past records… are unknown. He was always an outcast, always bullied." Itachi's eyes narrowed. "But is it possible for someone to change so drastically? To go from a naïve, reckless child to someone that… experienced in just a few days?"

Shisui's jaw clenched. His mind replayed the memories of Naruto—his unnatural presence, the unshakable confidence, the way he spoke as if he had seen and done more than anyone could comprehend.

"You saw his eyes, right?" Shisui asked, voice dropping lower.

Itachi nodded.

"That yellow, sharp pupil of his." Shisui's gaze darkened. "That's not something from around here." His voice was firm. "It's not any dojutsu we've ever seen."

Itachi's grip on his kunai tightened. "Eye," he corrected. "Not eyes. He only has one—the other is covered by an eyepatch." His voice grew colder. "Not to mention, he defeated us without even forming a single hand seal. He just—pinned me down. Stabbed you with that ridiculously long sword."

Shisui exhaled sharply, his mind racing. "Itachi… what do you think he'll do to Danzo?"

Before Itachi could respond—

"Ask and find out."

A chill ran down their spines.

Naruto materialized between them as if he had been there the entire time. A slow, amused grin stretched across his face, his top hat tilted slightly, his black coat swaying in the night breeze.

Itachi and Shisui immediately took a step back, kunai raised.

Shisui's voice was sharp. "How long have you been here?"

Naruto's grin widened. "A few hours, actually."

Shisui's breath hitched.

Itachi's eyes narrowed. "You…"

Naruto turned to him with a lazy expression. "Itachi, how's the new power-up? Your Mangekyo Sharingan. Neat, right?"

Itachi's entire body tensed. "That was you.You pulled that stunt with the fake Shisui."

Naruto let out a sharp chuckle. "Should I get a thank-you? You got more POWEERRRR—" he dragged the word out, voice dripping with mockery, "—without even having to watch your dear friend die."

Itachi's expression darkened.

Naruto leaned in slightly, his single sharp yellow eye gleaming in the dim moonlight.

"As far as I know, that's the qualification for the Mangekyo Sharingan, right?" His voice turned sing-song. "Watching someone close to you die in battle or something like that."

His grin stretched wider. "Now, tell me, Itachi… . Does it feel good?"

Itachi's grip on his kunai tightened. His Sharingan spun dangerously. "What are you, Naruto? What is your goal?"

Naruto waved a hand lazily. "I'm a very hardworking man for the upstairs guys, that's all. And I just worked very, very hard keeping everything in place."

Itachi took a sharp breath, about to press further, but Shisui interrupted. "Sorry, Itachi, but I need to ask something first."

His lone eye burned with intensity. "Naruto, what did you do to Danzo? Did you kill him?"

Naruto's smile vanished for a second, replaced with something unreadable. "He betrayed you, and you're still asking whether I killed him or not? What's wrong with you, huh?"

Shisui's fists clenched. "Answer me."

Naruto scoffed, rolling his shoulders. "Don't tell me you actually believe he was a good man. That he did everything for his precious 'village'—Kono-fucking-ha. A place where all varieties of trash get mixed up and bundled together, and then people pretend it's paradise."

He snapped his fingers. A severed right arm fell onto the ground. Itachi and Shisui's eyes widened as they took in the grotesque sight. A pale, unnatural limb. A grotesque mockery of life. And embedded along the flesh— Sharingan. It wasn't ten. Eight had burned out, useless. But two still remained intact.

Naruto tapped his cane against the ground. "What kind of leader does this, huh?" His sharp yellow eye gleamed with amusement.

"Dude was about to make himself a hokage any day now."