Magic School Dropout (Before Even Enrolling)

The Sanctum of the Arcane was not what Kaelen expected.

He had imagined a grand castle filled with wise, bearded mages in flowing robes, murmuring spells over ancient tomes. Instead, the place looked like a chaotic mix of a wizard's lab and a battlefield.

A young mage sprinted past them, on fire—though he didn't seem particularly concerned about it. Two wizards were dueling in mid-air, hurling glowing orbs at each other, while an apprentice tried (and failed) to stop a sentient broom from attacking him.

Kaelen paused at the entrance. "So, just to be clear—this is where we've come to fix my magic?"

Lyria looked around, dodging a stray spell. "Honestly, I think you'll fit right in."

Mini-Kaelen, still floating beside him, snorted. "I AM THE TRUE PRODIGY."

Kaelen shot him a glare. "Shut up, Mini-Me."

Thorne stepped forward, waving to a robed figure who looked somewhat more composed than the rest. "Master Eldrin! We need your help."

Eldrin, an elderly mage with glowing runes tattooed on his arms, turned to them. He gave Kaelen a once-over and immediately sighed. "Oh, no. Not another one."

Kaelen raised an eyebrow. "Uh. Another one?"

Eldrin massaged his temples. "You're not the first adventurer to stumble into godlike magic. Last time, it took us three weeks to unfreeze time."

Kaelen frowned. "Wait. Someone actually froze time?"

Eldrin sighed. "Yes. And for two of those weeks, the poor guy was stuck mid-sneeze."

Kaelen's eyes widened. "That is… horrifying."

Lyria grinned. "So you're saying there's precedent for Kaelen breaking reality? Fantastic."

Eldrin ignored her and gestured Kaelen forward. "Come with me. Let's see how bad this is."

The Magical Disaster Exam

Kaelen followed Eldrin into a dimly lit chamber lined with runes. The old mage motioned for him to step into a glowing circle.

"Alright," Eldrin said, rubbing his hands together. "I'm going to assess your magical core. Do not resist."

Kaelen nodded. "Got it. Just… stand here?"

"Exactly."

Eldrin raised his hands, chanting under his breath. The runes flared to life. A pulse of energy shot through Kaelen's body, and suddenly—

BOOM.

The entire room exploded.

When the smoke cleared, Kaelen was standing exactly where he'd been, completely unharmed. The walls of the chamber, however, were gone.

Eldrin, now covered in soot, coughed violently.

Lyria poked her head through the rubble. "So… how's it looking?"

Eldrin turned to Kaelen, eyes wide. "You—you absorbed my spell and reflected it outward."

Kaelen winced. "So… that's bad?"

Eldrin took a shaky breath. "Let me put it this way: If magic were a river, most mages are like boats, guiding it along. You? You're a dam that just burst."

Kaelen groaned. "Oh, fantastic. So I'm basically a walking magical catastrophe."

Eldrin nodded. "Yes, but at least you haven't turned anyone into a—"

At that exact moment, a nearby apprentice sneezed—and instantly transformed into a goat.

Kaelen froze. "…That wasn't me. Right?"

Lyria gave him a deadpan stare. "Do you really want to bet on that?"

The goat-turned-apprentice bleated in protest. Eldrin rubbed his temples. "Alright. That's it. You definitely need training."

Kaelen sighed. "Yeah, that seems reasonable."

Training began immediately. And by "training," Eldrin really meant "let's see how long before Kaelen accidentally levels a city."

The first lesson was basic spell control.

Kaelen was supposed to levitate a small rock. Instead, he accidentally lifted the entire training hall into the air.

The second lesson was channeling energy.

Kaelen tried to summon a tiny fireball. Instead, he created a floating fire chicken that refused to stop screaming.

By the third lesson, Eldrin had started drinking.

"This is—this is impossible," the old mage muttered, staring at Kaelen like he was an eldritch horror.

Kaelen held up his hands. "Look, I tried to follow instructions!"

Eldrin groaned. "Kaelen, you were supposed to banish the fire chicken, not give it a sword!"

The fire chicken squawked and waved its tiny flaming sword menacingly.

Lyria, now fully invested in the situation, leaned over to Thorne. "This is so much better than I expected."

Thorne just sighed. "We are so doomed."

After several failed training sessions, Eldrin decided to use a containment spell to suppress Kaelen's magic temporarily.

"Alright," Eldrin said, standing at a safe distance. "This should hold back the magic long enough for you to practice controlling it."

Kaelen nodded. "Sounds great. No more accidental disasters."

The containment spell held for exactly ten seconds.

Then it imploded, unleashing a shockwave that knocked everyone over.

When the dust settled, Kaelen was floating.

Glowing.

And surrounded by a crackling aura of pure energy.

Eldrin stared. "Oh. That's… very bad."

Kaelen panicked. "Uh—help?"

Mini-Kaelen cackled. "YES. ASCEND, MY TRUE FORM."

Lyria blinked. "Is… is he turning into a god?"

Thorne groaned. "We don't have time for this."

As Kaelen's power surged wildly out of control, the fire chicken charged at them with its tiny sword, and the goat-apprentice tried to escape through a window.

Kaelen had only one thought:

This is officially the worst day of my life.