Chapter 1

To be in a street where the lamp doesn't flicker,when the light is steady and yet to dim...

When we are yet to grow up, we always dream of turning into an adult, a life we always thought had no limits. No restrictions, we can do what we always wanted.

For we, as kids, we were still innocent of how the world could be horrible. That there is never always a light present in the darkness.

How naive are those thoughts, how deceiving could they be for us.

As we grow up, slow realization of how fuck up the world could be, reigns in our mind.

Now death doesn't seem to faze us at all, that it was never scary. Especially for mentally exhausted people.

But perhaps...the right person will save us from sinking in the depths of our dark thoughts?

Maybe... Who knows?

...

"If our past selves saw our present state now, would they still find it worthy to live?"

I stopped shuffling the pages of the book I'm reading as I heard his question.

"Don't you think it's too early to ask that...uhm mood changing question?"

Olius chimed in before I could utter a word.

It's true, roughly 7 am in the morning.

"I know, but... I always wonder if our past would be proud of us, especially when we always dream of achieving something at a certain age...then never reaching it and turning into something that is not worthy of praise" He stated, taking a sip from his iced tea. A gelid drink to start the day.

Perhaps his drink resembles his heart, cold yet still some sweetness lingers.

I put down the book I'm holding on the table of the cafe we're currently in.

"Maybe our past selves will, or otherwise... Who knows" I answered his question. My eyes averting, I can't still look at him yet. Not yet.

"Nathan is right, frankly speaking I don't remember most of my childhood... What I used to be in the past...those memories were blurred, I couldn't recall anything at all" Olius said,taking a bite from his egg sandwich.

Who knows if our past selves would see our current self eandering. Maybe those child-like versions of us will have different reactions. Not meeting our expected reactions at all.

After all they are more positive than we are.

"Wise words coming from you Olius, at least not everyday you say something dumb" Liam said teasing him. This comment made Olius roll his eyes.

"At least I don't stay silent all day, how come you still have a voice when you don't speak most of the time?" Olius asked Liam, taking the last bite of his sandwich. It's true Liam doesn't really talk much, but I notice that he is becoming talkative when Olius was talking.

"No, the real question is how come you still have a voice when you speak all day?" Liam retorted his question...with another question.

"Pfffft..."

He chuckled

His voice, sweet as the cake I'm eating.

I should stop.

What we had already ended,therefore these feelings shouldn't stay.

Olius and Liam continued to bicker, and he... Idk maybe he is still sipping on his iced tea. He is a slow eater after all.

I look at the outside surroundings, I don't have any mood to continue reading the book on my table now.

Using my palm to rest my chin on top of it, appreciating my surroundings.

As the sun rose up the sky, glazing us with its burning light. Blinding us with the lumine it carries. But making our paths not hidden in our sight.

Those establishments that were closed before, gradually start their day to make their business once again accomodate us.

Unaware of how long I have been dazed, I heard Olius voice calling me.

"Hey, Nathan do you still want that chocolate cake?" He asked pointing at the unfinished cake on my plate.

"Why, you want to eat it? Come on, you complain about your weight yet still eat like a pig" Liam stated in a mocking yet reprimanding tone.

"Oh, but it's such a waste if he didn't finish that" Olius retort, pouting his lips.

"Nathan will devour that cake, trust me, it was his favorite flavor after all..." He commented, How sweet.

If only he could remember the things I like too just like how I engraved his in my mind when we still had what we had before.Maybe we can still keep what we had in the past.

"Damn, you know him a lot huh? Maybe you can still restore what you had—" Olius never completed his words. Liam stuffed the desert on his plate in his mouth, stopping him from saying something further.

"Here I'll give you my food just stop talking" Stuffing more of his food in Olius mouth. Well, surprisingly Olius comply.

"No, you can have this. I'm already full" I said offering the plate to Olius.

"You lied... This slice won't make you full... At least you need to eat three slices to—"

"Shut up"

His words cut off, as I interrupt him from speaking a word.

"You don't need to worry about my well being, I know what I'm doing. Here Olius you can have this" I said not looking at him

After that, it was dead silenced at least on our table. No one utters or even mumbles a word. Only those tables besides us continue their conversation.

"Ah, we need to go now. The class on our first subject will start in thirty mins"

As Olius points out the time, Liam and Olius went back to their bickering. But me and Eiros left the cafe without uttering a single word.