Chapter 3

The wide road of Chongjin was dark, with only a few vehicles passing by. Tae-ho drove down the long stretch in his CJ5 jeep, his hands gripping the steering wheel firmly. He drove fast but steady, his gaze focused straight ahead.

Beside him, Hae-jin sat quietly, stealing glances at the lieutenant. Tae-ho's face remained unreadable, his expression serious. He never once turned to look at Hae-jin, making it impossible for him to tell what was on his mind.

At that moment, Hae-jin thought to himself,

"솔직히 말하자면… 지금 나는 그분에 대해 더 알고 싶소. 부인이 있는지, 자식이 있는지… 무엇을 좋아하는지, 어디에서 공부했는지… 점점 궁금해지오. 하지만 나는 물어볼 수 없소. 그럴 자격도 없소."

("I'll admit it… right now, I want to know more about him. If he has a wife, children… What he likes, where he studied—little by little, I'm becoming curious about him. But I can't ask him. I don't have the right to.")

The silence between them stretched until they finally arrived at the village.

Tae-ho slowed down, turning onto a narrow road lined with identical houses.

The jeep came to a stop.

Hae-jin hesitated before lowering his head slightly, feeling shy.

"고맙습니다, 상위동지."

("Thank you for bringing me home, Lieutenant…")

Tae-ho didn't respond. His eyes remained on the windshield, both hands still gripping the wheel.

Hae-jin stepped out of the vehicle and began walking toward his home.

Inside the jeep, Tae-ho watched him go. His fingers tapped anxiously on the steering wheel. His body tensed, as if there was something he wanted to say—but didn't.

Then, as if making a sudden decision, he pushed the door open and called out.

"해진아!"

(Hae-jin!)

The loud voice made Hae-jin stop. He turned back, his eyes meeting Tae-ho's once again.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. The street was silent, the night air cold.

Yet neither of them looked away. Their gazes held—steady, unyielding—as if neither wanted to be the first to break it.

A strange weight settled between them, heavy yet unspoken.

Then, Tae-ho finally spoke, his voice cool and unreadable.

"내일 농장에서 보자. 알겠지?"

("Let's meet at the farm tomorrow, okay?")

Hae-jin smiled.

"예, 상위동지."

("Yes, Lieutenant.")

Tae-ho's serious expression softened, and he smiled.

Without another word, he got back into his jeep.

As the vehicle passed by, Hae-jin turned to watch it disappear down the road.

He couldn't stop smiling.

Somehow… just being around Lieutenant Tae-ho made him forget all his worries.

"상위동지..."

("Lieutenant...")

He whispered under his breath.

The next morning, Myung-sun stepped out into the yard and saw Hae-jin fast asleep on a wooden bench. She walked over and shook him gently.

"해진아! 일어나라. 일할 시간이다."

("Hae-jin! Wake up, it's time for work.")

Slowly, Hae-jin's eyes fluttered open. He looked at his mother, sat up groggily, and rubbed his eyes.

Myung-sun sat beside him, looking at him with pity in her eyes.

"아버지한테 그렇게 말하면 안 되지 않니? 얼른 가서 사과 드려라."

("You shouldn't have spoken like that to your father. Go and apologize to him.")

Hae-jin quietly entered the house. His gaze lowered, he saw his father dressing. Slowly, he stepped closer and muttered a quiet apology.

"미안합니다, 아버지..."

("I'm sorry, Father…")

Min-seok didn't look at him.

"위대한 수령님께도 용서를 빌어라, 그래야 우리 가정에 은혜를 내려주신다."

("Ask for forgiveness from our Great Leader, too. Only then will our family receive his grace.")

Hae-jin turned to the portrait of Kim Il-Sung, knelt on the floor, and bowed deeply.

"죄송합니다, 위대한 수령님..."

("I'm sorry, Great Leader…")

Later that morning, before heading to work, Hae-jin bathed in the shallow part of the Tumen River. Wearing only his briefs, he scrubbed his skin with a rock, rubbing away the dirt from his body.

His father, Min-seok, arrived with a large clay jar to collect water. Upon spotting Hae-jin in the river, he smirked.

"와! 해진아, 예전에는 출근 전에 목욕 안 하더니... 애인이라도 생긴 거냐?"

("Wow! Hae-jin-ah, you never used to bathe before work… Did you get yourself a girlfriend?")

Hae-jin simply looked at his father, then averted his gaze, staring into the water as if deep in thought.

At the farm, Hae-jin looked noticeably cleaner than usual. He wore a thin long-sleeved shirt and shorts.

As he arrived, his eyes instantly spotted Tae-ho, standing at the edge of the fields, speaking with another soldier.

Hae-jin hesitated.

He waited.

Would Tae-ho look at him?

And then… their eyes met.

Panicked, Hae-jin quickly lowered his head, pretending to be busy planting.

But it was no use.

He saw it—the shine of polished boots stopping in front of him.

Slowly, he lifted his head, gaze trailing upwards.

Until he was face-to-face with Tae-ho's piercing stare.

"안녕하십니까, 상위동지."

("Good morning, Senior Lieutenant.")

Tae-ho crossed his arms, eyes sweeping over Hae-jin with quiet scrutiny.

He let out a slow sigh before speaking.

"목욕했냐?"

("Did you bathe?")

Hae-jin smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head.

"상위동지께서 눈치채셨군요..."

("You noticed, Senior Lieutenant…")

A smirk curled on Tae-ho's lips—almost teasing.

"이제 똥이나 모아라. 농장에 쓸 거다. 네 목욕이 아깝겠구나. 가."

("Now, go collect manure from the village. It's for the farm. What a waste of a bath. Go.")

"예... 상위동지..."

("Yes… Senior Lieutenant…")

As Hae-jin walked away, a glint of amusement flickered across Tae-ho's face.

And then—a small chuckle.

Nearby, the soldier beside him stared in shock.

"상위동지... 왜 웃습니까?"

("Senior Lieutenant… why are you smiling?")

Tae-ho's smirk immediately vanished.

His expression hardened.

A slight frown creased his brows as he stepped closer, lowering his voice.

"상관없어."

("None of your business.")

The soldier swallowed hard, quickly lowering his head as Tae-ho walked away.

Hae-jin walked from house to house, collecting human waste to be used as fertilizer.

Despite the scorching sun, he moved with energy, his steps light. For some reason, he had never felt this motivated to work before.

He didn't understand why.

Stopping at a small house, he called out loudly.

"아저씨! 똥 내놓으시오!"

("Mister! Bring out your waste!")

An old man stepped outside, holding a tightly tied bag. Without a word, he handed it to Hae-jin, who took it with a bright smile.

"감사합니다!"

("Thank you!")

At every house he visited, he cheerfully called out, collecting more and more bags.

The load in his arms grew heavier, but he never complained.

For the first time in a long time, he felt oddly lighthearted.

By the time he returned to the farm, his arms were full of tied-up waste bags. The odor was strong, but he didn't mind. All that mattered was that he had done his job well.

As he reached the field, he spotted Tae-ho standing at the edge, talking to a soldier. Without hesitation, Hae-jin walked up to him, still smiling, and handed him the bags.

"상위동지! 똥들은 여기 있습니다!"

("Senior Lieutenant! Here's the waste!")

Immediately, both Tae-ho and the soldier beside him recoiled, covering their noses. Tae-ho took a step back, his face twisting in disgust.

"야! 당장 치워!"

("Hey! Get that away!") he shouted.

"아이씨… 씨발! 냄새 지독하잖아!"

("Fuck… it stinks!")

The soldier next to him pointed at Hae-jin, visibly angry.

"야 바보야! 그걸 상위동지한테 넘겨주면 어떡해?! 씨발 새끼야!"

("Hey, idiot! Why the hell would you hand that to the lieutenant?! Are you stupid?!")

Just as the soldier stepped forward, about to hit Hae-jin—

A sharp smack echoed in the air.

Tae-ho had struck the soldier hard on the back of his head.

"때리지 마, 씨발!"

("Don't hit him, you bastard!")

The soldier flinched, quickly bowing his head in fear. He didn't dare say another word.

Hae-jin, however, had already lowered his head. His shoulders slumped, his excitement fading away.

"미안합니다, 상위동지…"

("I'm sorry, Senior Lieutenant…")

His voice was small, nearly breaking.

He hadn't expected Tae-ho to get angry.

"썩히기 전에 먼저 확인하실 줄 알고 가져왔습니다…"

("I thought… you might want to check it first before I decompose it…")

Tae-ho's eyes remained locked on him, his brows slightly furrowed, irritation flickering in his gaze.

A few seconds passed. Then—

"가."

("Go.")

His tone was cold, dismissive.

Hae-jin lowered his head further. Shoulders heavy, he turned around, walking away with slow, dragging steps.

The joy he had felt earlier was gone.

But then—

"해진아!"

("Hae-jin!")

Tae-ho's voice rang out sharply.

Hae-jin froze. His heart skipped a beat. Slowly, he turned back. His expression still held traces of disappointment.

That's when he saw it.

Tae-ho's hardened expression softened. His lips curled slightly—just enough to form a smile.

"잘했어… 해진아."

("Good job… Hae-jin.")

Hae-jin's eyes widened. He blinked, as if unsure if he had heard correctly.

Then, little by little, a smile formed on his lips.

As he walked away, that smile never faded.

Every morning, Hae-jin started his day earlier than usual. Before 5 AM, even before the automatic radio switched on, he was already awake, slipping out of the house while his parents were still asleep on the floor.

"다녀오겠습니다!"

("I'm heading out!")

The loud sound of the door shutting startled Min-seok awake.

"어! 무슨 일이야?!"

("Huh?! What's happening?!")

Hae-jin hurried to the Tumen River to take a bath before heading to the farm.

During the day, as he planted corn seeds into the soil, his eyes kept darting toward Tae-ho, who was busy speaking with soldiers in the distance.

Every time their gazes met, Hae-jin would instantly lower his head, flustered.

But when Hae-jin looked away, Tae-ho smiled to himself, watching him with quiet amusement.

One day, as Hae-jin carried a large clay jar of water back to the field, a soldier suddenly walked beside him, also carrying a water jar.

When Hae-jin turned his head, he froze.

"상위동지, 뭐하는 겁니까?"

("Lieutenant… what are you doing?")

It was Tae-ho.

Without looking at him, Tae-ho kept walking, his face unreadable.

After a moment, he finally turned his head slightly and smirked.

"도와주는 거지."

("Helping you.")

Hae-jin blinked, confused.

"왜요?"

("Why?")

Tae-ho chuckled briefly.

"당연히 로력이 부족하니까 군인들도 움직여야지."

("Obviously, there aren't enough workers. The soldiers have to help too.")

Then, Tae-ho walked ahead, leaving Hae-jin staring after him.

Neither of them noticed… they were both smiling.

For a brief moment, Hae-jin just stood there, watching the lieutenant walk away. Then, without thinking, he quickly followed.

"상위동지, 기다려주십시오!"

("Lieutenant, wait for me!")

Hae-jin caught up to Tae-ho, walking beside him. They didn't speak, but there was no need to.

For some reason, being near each other felt… natural.

A few days later, at the farm, Hae-jin was planting corn, his head lowered as he focused on his work, when a pair of polished boots suddenly stopped in front of him.

Slowly, he lifted his head.

His heart skipped a beat.

It was Tae-ho.

Without saying a word, Tae-ho extended his hand.

"씨앗 내놔라."

("Give me some seeds.")

Hae-jin furrowed his brows, confused.

"왜요?"

("Why?")

Tae-ho's jaw tensed.

"그냥 하라니까!"

("Just do it!") he snapped.

Startled, Hae-jin quickly handed him some seeds.

What happened next shocked everyone.

Tae-ho knelt down and began planting corn himself. 

The soldiers standing nearby whispered in disbelief.

"왜 상위동지가 농사를 짓고 있갔나?!"

("Why is Lieutenant planting crops?!")

"우리 저걸 막아야 하지 않갔나?"

("Should we stop him?")

"나는 뒤통수를 처맞고 싶지 않갔네!"

("I don't want to get slapped in the head!")

While Tae-ho silently planted, a small smile tugged at his lips.

Behind him, Hae-jin stood frozen, panicking, unsure what to do.

Should he stop him?

Should he just let him be?

He had no idea what was happening anymore.

But one thing was certain…

Something between them was changing.

When the late summer heat hung heavy over the farm, Hae-jin hid among the towering corn stalks, peeking through the leaves, stealing glances at Tae-ho, who was speaking with a group of soldiers nearby.

"군인들도 수확에 동참하갔세. 빨리 끝내야 하갔세."

("The soldiers will also help with the harvest. We need to finish quickly.")

"예, 상위동지."

("Yes, Lieutenant.") the soldiers replied in unison.

Hae-jin continued watching, unable to help himself. But just as he leaned in for a better look—

"여기서 뭐하는 거갔나?!"

("What do you think you're doing?!")

His heart stopped.

He turned, only to see Tae-ho standing right behind him, arms crossed, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Hae-jin swallowed hard, scratching the back of his head as he looked down, embarrassed.

"없습니다... 상위동지..."

("Nothing… Lieutenant…")

Tae-ho frowned.

"어서 일하라우!"

("Get back to work!")

"예... 상위동지..."

("Yes… Lieutenant…")

With his head low, Hae-jin turned away, walking back to the field.

But just as he took a step—

"해진아!"

("Hae-jin!")

He spun around.

Something came flying toward him.

Instinctively, he caught it—a freshly picked ear of corn. Confused, he looked up at Tae-ho.

Tae-ho's usual stern face softened.

"우울해하지 말라우. 일하기 전에 먹갔세."

("Don't sulk. Eat before you work.")

Hae-jin's heart skipped a beat.

For a moment, their eyes locked—longer than necessary, deeper than either of them expected.

Neither of them looked away as small smiles formed on their lips.

That night, as Hae-jin lay on the wooden floor of his home, he slept soundly, a small smile lingering on his lips.

And in his dreams, he whispered,

"상위동지..."

("Lieutenant...")

Meanwhile, in his room, Tae-ho couldn't sleep, turning from side to side.

No matter what position he lay in, sleep wouldn't come.

Frustrated, he sat up, running a hand through his hair.

"내가 왜 이러갔나?!"

("What the hell is happening to me?!")

When the harvest season arrived.

In the golden fields, the farmers gathered, filling their baskets with corn.

Hae-jin worked in a narrow row between the tall stalks.

Not far from where Hae-jin worked, Tae-ho stood diagonally across from him, among the farmers. Dressed in a plain white T-shirt and military trousers, his sleeves were rolled up, muscles flexing as he pulled corn from the stalks.

Hae-jin stole glances at him—watching the way his arms moved, the way sweat glistened on his skin.

And then—

Tae-ho lifted the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face, revealing the sculpted ridges of his six-pack abs.

Hae-jin froze.

His throat went dry.

His mind went blank.

He didn't even realize he was staring—until the soldier beside him, also harvesting, smacked him on the back of the head.

"야, 멍하니 있갔나?! 씨발!"

("Hey! What the hell are you staring at?!")

Snapping out of it, Hae-jin's eyes darted to the soldier who had just smacked him. He bowed quickly.

"죄송합니다..."

("I'm sorry...")

The harvest season had ended. The corn had been collected, stored, and sent to the state.

One morning, all the farmers gathered in front of Tae-ho.

"전체 농장원들은 주의 깊게 듣라우! 이번에 우리가 수확 목표를 초과 달성했갔네. 그러니 배급을 더 많이 받게 될 것이오!"

("Listen, everyone. We've exceeded our harvest quota, which means you'll receive extra rations.")

Excited murmurs rippled through the crowd.

Tae-ho stepped toward Hae-jin.

His voice was softer this time.

"해진아... 잘했어..."

("Hae-jin... Well done...")

Hae-jin's lips parted slightly before a small, hesitant smile formed. He lowered his gaze, unsure how to respond.

Instead, he nodded.

"오늘 할 일은 소들을 먹여서 쟁기질할 힘을 키우게 하는 거갔세."

("Today's task is to feed the cattle so they have enough strength for plowing.")

"헛간에서 건초 가져오겠습니다, 상위동지."

("I'll get the hay from the barn, Lieutenant.")

Tae-ho crossed his arms, studying him for a moment.

Then—

"내가 도와주갔세. 많이 필요하갔네."

("I'll help you. We need a lot.")

Hae-jin blinked in surprise.

But then—he smiled.

And without another word, they walked toward the barn.

Together.

Inside the old barn, sunlight streamed through the cracks between the wooden planks, casting thin lines of golden light across the dusty air.

The scent of dry hay lingered in the enclosed space, and faint spiderwebs clung to the ceiling beams.

Bundles of straw lay scattered across the floor, while wooden barrels lined the farthest wall.

The walls bore the marks of time—scratched, worn, and aged.

Hae-jin stepped forward, his eyes scanning the barn. Behind him, Tae-ho remained still.

His voice was firm yet casual as he pointed toward the bundles of straw.

"건초 다섯 단이면 충분하갔네."

("Five bundles should be enough.")

Hae-jin nodded, turning his gaze toward the straw.

"일륜차 가져오겠습니다, 상위동지."

("I'll get a wheelbarrow, Lieutenant.")

He spun around to leave—

And nearly collided with Tae-ho.

His breath caught.

They were too close.

Neither moved.

Hae-jin stepped to the left. Tae-ho mirrored him.

He shifted to the right. Tae-ho did the same.

It was as if an invisible force refused to let them separate.

Then, finally, their eyes locked.

The world outside the barn seemed to fade.

The sounds of the farm, the distant chatter of workers, the rustling of the wind—it all disappeared.

All that remained was the charged silence between them.

Something unspoken crackled in the air, thick and heavy.

Then—before Hae-jin could react—

Tae-ho's hands cupped both sides of his face.

Without hesitation—without warning—he kissed him.

A deep, firm press of lips—hot, desperate, and unwavering.

Tae-ho's eyes fluttered shut.

For a moment, he allowed himself to forget everything.

Hae-jin's eyes widened in shock, his body frozen in place. He didn't resist—but he didn't respond either.

His mind screamed at him to move, to pull away, to do something—

But his body refused to obey.

Then, slowly… his eyelids also fluttered shut.

His lips parted slightly—

And he let it happen.

He let himself feel it.

The warmth of Jeong Tae-ho's mouth, the roughness of his calloused hands against his skin, the way their breaths mingled in the narrow space between them.

Tae-ho didn't pull away.

Instead, he deepened the kiss.

Their tongues met—hot, hesitant at first, then desperate.

As if this was the last time he would ever allow himself to lose control.

As if this was something he had tried to resist for far too long—

And finally failed.