chapter 3: The fake affair fiasco

Verbena sat in front of her vanity, chewing on the end of a feather quill like it owed her money. Her escape plan had failed spectacularly, and now she was under husband surveillance 24/7 — which meant no sneaking out, no bribing guards, and definitely no planting 'love trees.'

She glared at her reflection. "Think, Verbena. What would a scandalous heroine do?"

The answer hit her like a horse-drawn carriage.

Have an affair.

If Theodore caught her 'cheating,' his pride would explode like a cursed firework and he'd demand a divorce.

Genius. Flawless. Totally not insane.

The only problem?

She didn't have a lover.

Or admirers.

Or even a pet goldfish willing to flirt with her for the cause.

"Well," she huffed, "desperate times call for imaginary lovers."

---

The next morning, Verbena strutted into the dining hall wearing the most suspicious expression possible. Her eyes darted left and right like a badly trained spy, and every time Theodore looked her way, she giggled and covered her mouth like a maiden harboring forbidden secrets.

Theodore squinted at her over his cup of black coffee. "Are you possessed?"

"Me? No!" Verbena's smile was all teeth. "Just…thinking about someone."

His cup froze mid-air. "Someone?"

"Just a friend."

Theodore's grip on the cup tightened until the porcelain cracked. "Which friend?"

"Oh, you wouldn't know him," she waved her hand dramatically. "He's very—how do I say this— handsome, charming, and incredibly mascular."

Theodore's jaw flexed.

"Where did you meet him?"

Verbena's brain raced. "At the…marketplace! Yes! He saved me from…from a rolling cabbage cart!"

Theodore: "..."

She wasn't done. "His hair was like spun gold under the sun, and his eyes were the color of forbidden forests!"

Theodore leaned forward, his elbows on the table, and his voice dropped dangerously low. "And this cabbage hero—what else did he do?"

Verbena gulped. "H-he whispered…that I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. And—" She stood up, one foot on the chair like a pirate claiming treasure. "He said if I were not married, he would have swept me off my feet and carried me into the sunset!"

CRACK.

That was the sound of Theodore snapping the entire table leg off with one hand.

"Is that so?" His smile was sharper than his sword. "Shall we meet this brave man?"

Verbena froze. Oh no.

Abort mission.

Mission has crashed and burned.

"I-I can't!" she stammered. "He left for a distant kingdom immediately after our tragic meeting."

Theodore stood, his dark coat billowing dramatically even though there was no wind indoors . "Interesting. Because I own the marketplace, and no cabbage carts rolled yesterday."

"Maybe it was a potato cart?"

"No potato carts either."

"Carrot? Tomato? Turnip—"

Theodore grabbed her wrist and yanked her closer until her nose almost collided with his chest.

"Wife," he murmured, voice dangerously soft, "If you want to make me jealous, at least try harder."

Her heart stuttered.

Wait. Why was her heart acting like a shoujo protagonist seeing abs for the first time?

She looked up, meeting his gaze—and

why was he so close?

Why was the air this tense?

Why was her face heating up like a furnace??

"I don't want to make you jealous," she blurted. "I just want a divorce!"

"Oh?" His fingers tilted her chin up. "Then why do your ears turn red every time I touch you?"

"I-it's a skin condition!"

"Liar."

He leaned in closer, his lips almost brushing her ear. "Shall I show you exactly what a jealous husband does?"

Verbena shrieked and shoved him away, face flaming brighter than a festival bonfire. "P-pervert! Don't you dare seduce me into staying married!"

"I don't need to seduce you," Theodore smirked. "You're already thinking about it."

She threw a buttered roll at his head.

He caught it.

And took a bite.

The smirk never left his face.

As Verbena fled the room in full embarrassment mode, Theodore's chuckle echoed behind her—deep, amused, and just a little too sexy for her peace of mind

---

End of chapter 3

WARNING

This is the original version of the webnovel "villain husband, please sign the divorce papers" by the author "Hanagaki Ryuka". Please don't copyright or upload it in your name

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O1cON4UEjsjFPMZxqNSY425-fdHW19779uAKscbDsy8/edit?usp=drivesdk