chapter 5: My wife has Amnesia(or so she says)

The next morning, Theodore entered the breakfast hall, fully prepared for another insane scheme from his wife.

What he didn't expect…was Verbena sitting at the table, looking confused and poking at her toast like it was a dangerous artifact.

"Who are you?" she asked, eyes wide.

Theodore paused mid-step. "Excuse me?"

She blinked at him. "Why are you in my house, sir? And why are you so…villainously handsome?"

There was a long silence. Even the servants froze, unsure whether to call a healer or just roll with it.

"Verbena." Theodore's voice was calm, but dangerously calm. "What are you doing this time?"

She gasped dramatically, clutching her chest. "Y-You know my name? Are we…star-crossed lovers? Did I save you from drowning in a pond when we were children?"

Theodore dragged a hand down his face. "You hit your head last night, didn't you?"

"Did I?" She touched her forehead, pretending to be shocked. "That must be why I can't remember anything! Who am I? Who are you? Are we married? Am I rich? Am I secretly a princess?"

Theodore took a deep breath.

This woman is going to be the death of me.

He sat across from her, folding his arms. "Alright, let's test this."

"What's your name?" he asked.

She fluttered her lashes innocently. "Umm… lily…sunflower…sparklepants?"

Theodore's eyebrow twitched.

"What year is it?"

"Year of the Sexy Villain Husband."

"Where do you live?"

She glanced around. "In a luxurious palace paid for by my mysterious husband's dark deeds?"

Theodore stood, chair scraping loudly. "You're faking."

She gasped. "How could you accuse an amnesiac maiden of lying?! That's cruel! What kind of man are you?"

"Your husband."

"No way! I would never marry someone so suspiciously handsome and evil-looking!"

"Too late." He smirked. "You already did."

Verbena clutched her heart, pretending to faint onto the table. "This is too much! My poor, fragile memory! What's next? You'll tell me we're deeply in love and I call you 'my Snuggle Demon' at night?"

"We are married." Theodore leaned down, eyes gleaming with amusement. "But the only thing you've ever called me is 'evil bastard' and 'walking divorce letter.'"

Her dramatic act glitched for a moment.

"R-really? I sound…passionate."

"Insufferable," Theodore corrected. "But passionate works too."

He grabbed a piece of toast and took a bite, not breaking eye contact. "You want to pretend you have amnesia? Fine. But don't expect me to play along."

"Oh, I'm not pretending!" she lied, clutching her head. "I really remember nothing! You could tell me anything and I'd believe you! Like, what if I'm actually a legendary assassin hiding my identity? Or a lost fairy Princess from the forest?"

Theodore leaned closer, his breath brushing her ear. "You are Verbena Phinx Hellgrave, my annoying wife who fakes illnesses, imaginary lovers, and now, amnesia."

Her cheeks burned.

"...Are you sure I'm not the fairy princess?"

"One hundred percent."

She huffed. "Fine! But until my memory comes back, I demand you treat me with the utmost care and tenderness."

"Care and tenderness?" Theodore's smirk deepened. "You mean like the kind you showed me when you poured ink into my bathwater last week?"

"...I did that?"

"Oh, you did much worse."

She groaned, flopping onto the table. "I was such a rebellious wife in my past memories…How tragic. If only I could remember—"

Theodore stood. "When your fake memory 'returns,' let me know. In the meantime, try not to fake your death or summon any more imaginary boyfriends."

He left, leaving Verbena half-embarrassed, half-inspired.

If amnesia didn't make him divorce her, she'd just have to up the stakes.

Maybe next, she'd pretend to be possessed by the ghost of his ex- fiance? Or claim she was secretly a saint blessed by the heavens?

There were still 95 chapters left in this season, after all.

---

The end of chapter 5

WARNING

This is the original version of the webnovel "villain husband, please sign the divorce papers" by the author "Hanagaki Ryuka". Please don't copyright or upload it in your name

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O1cON4UEjsjFPMZxqNSY425-fdHW19779uAKscbDsy8/edit?usp=drivesdk