Chapter Three: And Steel

The car was rattling, trembling, petrified, not even the demon of speed could handle my thirst for more.

PUFT!

I had pushed it too far.

The car was enveloped in flames, yet I had no desire to stop.

I didn't press on those brakes.

I would rather die, I'm going to savor every last moment of this.

So I'll fly along this track, soaring, even if I'm shrouded by flames.

In the pitch-black void of the night, I soared like a Phoenix birthed from fire, blazing along the track, illuminating the dark, a torch of salvation in the void.

Leaving a trail of flames along the track, burning the ground I drove over.

And if I end here, then at least it would have been in bliss.

I'm not going to kneel, I'm not going to bow, not unless the hands of God pluck me from this seat.

I'm so close to those checkered gates,then the flames flickered, and the shroud of fire split.

In between the flames, I could see puddles of water on the track ripple as rain dropped into them.

As time grew to a halt I could see the raindrops slow, hovering in the air, I could see the pillars of fire around me flicker and wave, and I could see another racer overtake me, if I kept going I'd hit him… I'd hit them if I didn't do something.

And so I closed my eyes in reluctance as I pressed the brakes, the flames began to grow hotter, as if they were trying to retaliate.

So close, yet there was nothing left for me to do, I guess today I would kneel.

The catharsis was shattered.

The peaceful, humming noise of the engine was suppressed by the violent screech of tires, like an animal shrieking.

The only thing left was the gruesome smell of burning rubber.

I could feel the car whip and snap around.

My neck craned with each flick of the car, as I opened my eyes I could see the fire around me had brushed itself to the side as the car spun out.

As I spun, the world slowed, and the crowd's cheering hushed, I could make out every tree, every blade of grass, and every drop of rain, and most of all, as I spun in circles I could see the faces of every person in the crowd, and I could feel their piercing gazes.

Just a few meters away from me, in the stands, was a little girl next to her mom.

The girl's shirt was a jersey with a signature I recognized well—"Aerin."

Both of their eyes grew wider and their jaws began to drop as their faces became enveloped in worry and sadness, and I could see a tear drop from the girl's eye, dripping down her face as she slowly became obstructed by the shroud of flames draping over me.

Then suddenly, within a snap, time flickered back. The drowned silence instantly was replaced by screams and gasps, but that too soon was silenced by the ear-piercing screeching sound of metal and rivets shearing off the chassis.

The sound was sharp as if two swords were clashing together, scraping the steel of their blades.

Then I was thrown to the side and I could feel the straps across my body chafe and peel the leather off my suit like meat against a grinder, while air stripped from my lungs as I jolted to a halt.

I could feel the rage of the inferno through my gloves as I pried the seat straps off my body. Glancing into the mirror, I could see myself veiled in fire, with the orange glow of flames flickering deep within my pupils.

So I clenched the seared metal of the chassis and clawed my way out of the phoenix's nest.

As I stepped away from the nest's blaze, the marshals bore witness to a man sheathed in flames, radiating the endless pitch-black void of the night around him with a golden glow.

I was the sole light in the void of the night. With each step, I seared the grass under my feet, setting the ground ablaze.

Swarmed by marshals, I was splashed with water, like I was being forced to wake up.

The flames went out while I just stood there, still, with my head toward the ground.

I didn't move, not even an inch, as I witnessed the golden embers at my feet wither to black.

I looked up and the marshals around me were knocking on my helmet, calling my name.

I could barely hear them as the helmet muffled their voices.

"Aerin, are you okay!?"

"Aerin!"

"Aerin, HELLO!?"

Then one marshal took off my helmet.

Then he snapped his fingers right in front of my eyes, and it all hit me.

Everything was back… everything I had fought for was gone… the pain was back... the anger was back… the voices were back…

My legs faltered, and my vision grew hazy.

As I gazed toward my hands, I could see them tremble. As I took a breath, it struck me.

With each breath, bitter chalky ash peeled off my tongue, chafing my flesh, and embers seared my lungs.

It felt like something was trying to rip itself from the inside of my chest.

Like someone was trying to drive a pole through my sternum.

Kouh.

Dammit, my hand was coated by a warm substance.

My own blood.

"Fuck."

Thud.

Kouh… Kouh… Huggh. Hugh. Hugh.

I could draw no air, I could feel it, death was looming over me and I could feel the scythe of the reaper slither across my throat, and for the first time, I knew what I wanted the most, not peace, not chaos, not love, not hate, not safety, nor danger, I simply wanted to live.

But perhaps it was too late.

I clawed and clasped at my neck, scratching, peeling, and marking my flesh.

Maybe, just maybe I could… I could… I could…

[With a white flash, a memory came back.]

Hehe, that girl, she had my jersey, and it was signed.

I bet she was so excited when I gave her that, I'm glad I could make her happy, even for just a little.

[The memory began mixing and meshing with another.]

Wait, is that me, and my mom?

Hehe, hugh, Kouh... that takes me back.

[Reminiscent smile.]

I hope she isn't watching. I don't want this to be the last thing she sees of me. I love you, mom...[Consciousness began to flicker as…]