Chapter 5: Revelation

As I woke up, at first, all I could hear was the quiet buzzing of a lamp and a rhythmic beeping sound. As I sat up, my vision was hazy. All I could see were blurry silhouettes soaked in orange light. As I took a deep breath, my vision began to focus. The first thing I noticed was that I was in a bed—but not mine. I was in a hospital bed. The white sheets barely offered any warmth; they were thin and cold, and my body was sleekly wrapped in thin bandages all around my torso.

As I looked around, I noticed that close to my right was a desk. On it was a lamp adorned with etchings of stars on its canvas, but what really caught my eye was a bouquet of red roses. Taped to it was a red note card that read:

[In case you were wondering, the flowers are fresh. I hope they remind you of my everlasting love, just in case I'm not there when you wake up. –Grandma]

Further away from me, across the white and blue checkered floor, was a window that stretched from the floor to the ceiling. Through the window, I could feel the warm golden rays of the sun beam on my skin.

In front of me was a mirror, one placed so high I could only see the top of my head.

On the other side of the room, to my left, was a desk cluttered with letters. A few letters seemed to be crumpled and tossed in the trash, which was in the crevice between the bed and the desk.

I couldn't help but gleam a little smile when looking at that mountain of letters.

It was oddly nice—I never thought something so simple would bring me joy.

The first letter I read was in a red envelope, and it was sealed with a maroon velvet ribbon.

For a while, I just glided my hand across the letter. The envelope was smooth, and I could feel the grain of the paper flow from left to right.

When I rubbed the ribbon between my fingertips, it was silky and soft.

I wanted to open the letter, but I just wanted to sit there and cherish it in my hands too. I never wanted to let it go, and I wished I could have read it without opening it and messing up its precious beauty.

Eventually, after I sat there for what felt like eternity, I opened the letter.

I peeled the lip of the envelope and slowly slid the letter out. As I listened to the paper rub against itself, my mind slowed to a calming quiet rest.

[Dear Aerin,

Hey Aerin, I know you probably don't remember me, but we met not too long ago when you were on your way to the pre-race interviews. That day, you said you noticed I looked upset and took me out for coffee. I was so surprised and happy that you took your time to care for a stranger you didn't even know the name of. But you were right—I was sad that day.

And what you didn't know was that just a year ago, on that same day, my dad had died. We used to watch every race we could together ever since I was just a little girl. And on that day, I was going to my first race ever without him. It just threw me into a pit that day. If you hadn't come, I probably would have just broken down on the spot.

But then you came over to me while I was looking at the floor, about to fall apart, and you gently kneeled down to look up at me and said:

"I can tell you've been through a lot, but you're sticking in there. My name's Aerin Shin, but you can just call me Aerin. And I was wondering if I could try to cheer you up and go for a coffee—all on me."

I have been a massive fan of yours for a while, and you made me so happy that day.

I thought that I wouldn't ever be able to feel happy again after my dad passed, but when you came along and were just there for me, you gave me peace—even if it was just for a little. And I'll never forget that.

It worried me so deeply when I saw you get into that accident just a few weeks ago. I couldn't help but write to you. I hope you feel better soon, Aerin, and I hope we run into each other again.

(P.S.) Sorry if my writing is hard to read. My hands were shaking the whole time. But thank you, Aerin—seriously, your kindness meant the world to me.

That letter, those words, were as sweet as honey. But something else started to draw my attention.

In the trash was a black letter. Its texture was rough and wrinkled, and it was sealed with black wax.

Something was telling me to open it, but something was telling me to burn it too.

As I lurched to grab it, my hand flinched, but…

The serpent of curiosity tempted me to eat the fruit.

Sliding the letter out of the envelope sounded like playing a scratched record. The handwriting was jagged, the letters were sharp, and the words were corrosive.

**[How could you dare to look at yourself in the mirror, you twisted maniac? You're a disgrace. You are hideous. And I can't help but be driven to vomit every time I hear your name.

You hurt my daughter. You hurt my little girl. And as her father, I'll never forgive you.

I hope you die and wither in a pit.

You hurt my daughter in that crash. You were reckless and selfish.

You are nothing but a disgrace. A worthless leech.

End it.]**

"Daughter?"

"Whose daughter?"

"Oh no, no, no…"

Panicking, I began to tap my foot.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

"I didn't hurt that girl, I didn't."

"It can't be true, no, no, no."

"It's not true. It can't be true."

"It's not my fault."

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

"Like you're one to talk, you're a worthless leech of a wife!"

"No, not again."

"Was that before or after I caught you with that geolle!"

"Stop it."

"Just shut up! I would've never done that if I hadn't married somebody so miserable!"

Go away, not again!

The echoes, the anger, the pain!

Worthless leech.

Curling into a ball, I could do nothing but plead and sob.

"Mom, Dad, stop, please, please stop it. Why can't you just love each other? Mom, stop it, please."

SMACK

"DAD! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHY WOULD YOU HIT HER?!"

Worthless leech. End it.

What? Why would you say that? Stop!

Click.

The world snapped into place as the door opened.

As I snatched my hand back, I looked up to see a woman. It was a nurse.

"Heyyy… oh, sorry."

Her warmth was replaced by a gasp as she glanced at my neck.

As she covered her mouth, she retreated behind the creaking sound of the wooden door, back into the hall.

Confused, my body jolted up straight. And in doing so, I saw something.

Something that made my stomach lurch.

It froze me as if I were staring into Medusa's eyes.

It drove lightning through my heart.

My neck—

My neck was laced in scars… from… my own nails… my own scratches.

I had no sensation where the scars had burrowed.

Their texture was rough, they were jagged, they ran long from under my jaw to the base of my neck. The skin was dark and discolored.

Looking at my left arm, in the notch of my elbow, was a large bandage covering an IV that was in my arm.

Peeling it off, I could feel it tug on my sore, tender skin where the needle had been placed. But nonetheless, I took it and covered the scars.

I sat there for what seemed like hours, but in reality, it was just a few minutes. Still, I couldn't stop those cold tears from spilling out, and so I sobbed until my tears dried and stained my face.

I guess maybe it was too late after all.

As I lay back on the cold bed, I closed my eyes to try to escape, even for just a little. My hands were trembling, and I could feel the bed shake ever so lightly with my body. With my head laid back, I just sat there and listened to the clattering of steps out in the hall for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually, I heard the door open, and at the door was another nurse—at first I barely registered her, it was just some quiet footsteps and the subtle wrestling of fabric, but then she knelt beside me.

Her eyes glowed a turquoise blue, and her hair was ink black

Time slowed as she knelt, and her eyes shimmered like beautiful water while she basked in the sun's rays of light. Time stopped, and as our gazes met—for just a fleeting moment—it was as sweet as honey.

I could feel my heart flutter.

I could feel the warm wave of blush flush my face red.

My breath trembled for just a moment before she softly asked me just one question as she laid her head and arms on my bed.

"You've been through a lot, haven't you?"

(Looking away, my tongue tripped and stuttered. I couldn't get anything out as a single tear dripped down my face.)

I flinched as she gently reached out and wiped the tear off my face, letting her soft hand linger as she spoke.

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me—I already know."

"It's going to be okay. It's all going to be alright."

(Gently, she used her hands to guide my face toward her soft, gentle eyes.)

"You've been through so much…"

"But it's going to be okay now. You're here now."

"You're safe."

Softly, she ran her hands and eyes down my arm, pausing halfway.

"Your bandage came off."

…

"Don't worry, I'll just get another one."

Reaching into the desk, she grabbed a bandage and gently readied it.

Carefully pulling my arm close, she caringly laid the bandage over my IV on my tender skin.

Her hands were warm and soft as her slender fingers gently glided over my arm, laying down the bandage.

Still holding my arm, her eyes lingered for just a second before she softly smiled and lifted her gaze to me. Her eyes squinted ever so slightly with her smile.

"See? All better now."

"The doctor is going to be here in just a bit. Are you going to be okay?"

"Umm yea I think so"

"Excellent, you got this okay, I'll be back soon, okayy"

my heart was left racing 

but she just gave a wave and a smile as she gently closed the door behind her

I was so shocked, I had never had some one treat me like that, and I didn't even get her name. she was so nice, hopefully I'll see her again