Chapter 5

DAMN! Being a nurse is no joke—I've been stitching wounds and wrapping bandages for hours.

I really had no idea things were this bad out there. I even had to help Marcus perform surgery on a man who was nearly torn in half by some kind of claw.

The number of gruesome injuries I've had to treat is beyond counting. I have no idea how long I've been doing this. Honestly, I'm exhausted. So exhausted.

I saw Marcus not long ago, and he doesn't look much better. His dark circles are so deep they're practically swallowing his eyes.

I've never smoked before, but damn… this might be the first time I actually want one.

Right now, I'm in the so-called "Resting Room", which is really just a tent the three of us use to catch a break every now and then.

Marcus and Marta are already asleep on our makeshift beds, but I just… I can't sleep.

I don't know why, but there's this strange scent in the air. It's almost… delicious.

Growl.

My stomach rumbles, deep and demanding, as that divine smell fills my nose. Without thinking, I start following it.

I wander all over, trying to track down the source of that mouthwatering aroma, but before I can find it, the scent vanishes—just as suddenly as it appeared.

With my hunger now fully awakened, I head to the Canteen, where most of the food is distributed.

When I arrive, I spot Kira in line, waiting for her share. She seems a bit lost in thought, but when she notices me, she immediately brightens up with a happy smile.

Alan: Hey, Kira! How are you?

She looks a little out of it at first, but after seeing me, she beams and responds.

Kira: Oh, hey, Mr. Mask! I'm okay, just… a little sad.

Watching her cheerful expression fade so quickly, I instinctively ask,

Alan: What's wrong, Kira? I can tell something's bothering you.

Her face darkens as if she just remembered something painful, and she struggles to hold back tears.

Kira: Mom… she just got thrown into the pile.

The moment those words leave her lips, I get it. Her mother is gone—just another body added to the growing mound of corpses. Kira is now one of the many orphans wandering the camp.

I run a hand through my hair, realizing it's my turn to get food. I order two portions—one for me and one for Kira.

As I hand her the food, I glance at her again and ask,

Alan: Kira… where's your dad? Or anyone who was taking care of you?

Hearing that, Kira's expression turns even darker. Her voice comes out in a whisper, trembling on the verge of tears.

Kira: Mom was all Kira had… Dad died up there.

I stay silent for a moment, letting that sink in. Then, without another word, I lead her back to the Resting Room and sit down to eat this… whatever this is.

It's a thick, sludgy mess—some kind of mush. But it's this or starving, so…

UGH.

This is awful. It tastes like dirt, like boiled regret, like some chef's worst nightmare.

I glance at Kira, who's devouring her portion as if it were a gourmet meal. Seeing that, I check the time—and finally understand why I'm so hungry.

I've been working for two days straight.

I sigh and turn to Kira.

Alan: If you want, you can stay here in the Resting Room. I'll let the others know it's fine.

Kira's eyes light up, filled with awe at the idea of sleeping in such a "fancy" place.

I mean, it's not much—but compared to the rest of the camp, it's luxury. We have actual beds, two lockers, and even a medicine cabinet I haven't touched much—aside from the ridiculous amount of disinfectant I've been using.

While Kira takes in the surroundings, I force myself to finish this disgusting excuse for a meal.

When I look back at her, she's curled up in a corner, hugging her knees, eyes clouded with grief. I decide to leave her alone for now—she needs time to process everything.

A few hours later, Marta wakes up, stretching lazily. Then, she notices Kira sitting there, still in that same position, and immediately gives me a suspicious look.

Seeing her expression, I speak up before she can say anything.

Alan: She just lost her mom. I told her she could stay here—I'm not leaving her out there alone.

Marta pauses, then sighs, looking at Kira with sympathy. She understands. Just like me, she knows Kira needs time—not forced words of comfort.

With Marta now taking over watch duty, I drag myself to my bed.

The moment my head touches the pillow, I black out from sheer exhaustion.

I don't know how long I was out, but I wake up with a pounding headache from lack of sleep. As I sit up, I notice Gustavo sitting in a chair, reading a book.

As soon as I move, he finally notices me. He closes the book and tucks it into a military backpack I hadn't seen before.

Gustavo: "You're finally awake, Sleeping Beauty. Come on, you need to meet the camp leader."

Hearing that, I start getting ready, taking care of my daily necessities. Once I'm done, I find Gustavo waiting for me outside my tent.

As soon as he sees me step out, he speaks up.

Gustavo: "Follow me, Alan. I've already memorized the way to this guy."

He starts leading the way, and as we walk, we make small talk.

Gustavo: "I heard you've been pretty busy, huh?"

Just remembering it makes me feel exhausted all over again.

Alan: "You have no idea. I worked two days straight stitching up the half-dead. Man, I feel tired just thinking about it."

It was exhausting, seriously. But at least I managed to help a lot of people—that helps me feel a little better about myself.

I just hope the guy we're about to meet is—

Man: "A pleasure to meet you, Mr. Alan. I truly appreciate everything you've done for this camp."

Suddenly, I find myself sitting at a folding table, on a simple plastic chair, facing a strange-looking man.

He's tall, a bit pale, with long black hair that nearly reaches the floor and heavy dark circles under his eyes. He's well-dressed, like a lawyer, and looks at me with a warm smile.

Wait… What the hell? When did I get here? Where even is this place?

I glance around and spot Gustavo, sitting nearby, reading his book. He looks up at me, confused.

I pause, scanning my surroundings for a moment, until I finally realize what's happening to me.

Man: "Mr. Alan? Are you alright?"

Gustavo gives me a sorrowful look, immediately understanding the situation. He gets up and approaches me.

Gustavo: "What's the last thing you remember, Alan?"

I blink in confusion, but deep down, I knew this was going to happen eventually—I just didn't expect it so soon.

Seeing Gustavo's concern, I answer.

Alan: "I was walking with you, on our way to meet the camp leader… and then… I just blacked out and woke up here."

Gustavo starts asking me the usual questions he does every time I lose my memory. The reality of it hits me hard—this damn problem of mine didn't disappear just because the world ended.

I thought that maybe… maybe since it was the apocalypse, I could just… I don't know.

I just want to go back to bed.

But since I came here to meet the camp leader, I should at least have a conversation with him.

Alan: "I'm sorry about the confusion. I have these blackouts sometimes, and they make me lose chunks of my memory. Can we start the conversation over?"

I say this, gathering the last bit of willpower I have left.

Trevor: "Of course, Alan. You've already introduced yourself, so let me do the same. I'm Trevor White. I'm the organizer and strategist of this camp—most people here call me the camp leader."

Hearing that, I feel relieved to know he's not some power-hungry maniac. I take a deep breath and continue.

Alan: "Alright. Then I'd like to know—why did you want to meet me?"

Trevor glances at my mask before answering.

Trevor: "At first, I doubted your intentions. I was planning to interrogate you both—because, as you can see, we're not in a great situation right now."

He stands up, extending a hand toward me as he continues.

Trevor: "But I was wrong. Completely wrong. You two are honorable men. You managed to bring back something precious to this place—the innocence of children. And on top of that, you helped the wounded without me even asking, without expecting anything in return. I just wanted to thank you."

Hearing that, I feel a small sense of relief—at least some of what I did was recognized. I reach out and shake Trevor's hand.

After that, he sits back down and continues.

Trevor: "I don't have anything to ask of you, Alan. Just keep saving lives, and I'll owe you more than just mine."

Hearing that, I simply nod and start heading back to my room, with Gustavo walking beside me.

We stay quiet for most of the way until Gustavo finally speaks up.

Gustavo: "I... I didn't know it had gotten this bad. I… man, if you ever feel like it's getting worse, Marcus and I are here for you, okay?"

I stay silent, just walking, feeling the weight of it all pressing down on me.

Gustavo: "Look, no matter what happens, I'll always be by your side. You know that, right, brother?"

I keep quiet. I don't want to talk right now. I just want to get to my bed, lie down, and… I don't know.

Gustavo: "It's okay to be scared—I get it. But you can't keep running from this, you know? One day, it's going to get worse, and when it does, Marcus and I will still be here."

I know he's just trying to cheer me up, but… it just irritates me.

Gustavo: "It's okay, I understand how you fe—"

Alan: "STOP, GUSTAVO! I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE HERE FOR ME, BUT DON'T TELL ME YOU UNDERSTAND, DAMN IT! I'M GOING TO DIE! NO, IT'LL BE WORSE THAN DEATH, DO YOU GET THAT?! I CAN'T STAND HEARING YOU SAY YOU'RE SORRY OR ANY EXCUSE YOU HAVE! I'M GOING TO DIE, AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO!"

Damn it, Gustavo, I know you and Marcus are with me. You always have been. But I'm scared, damn it, I just...

Sigh.

Alan: "Look, Gustavo, I'm sorry for yelling at you, but… I'm scared, man. And those monsters will probably arrive late, and I'll die before they even get here. That terrifies me. I'll die without ever getting married or falling in love, all because of this. So… just give me some time, okay?"

Gustavo looks at me, then pulls me into a brief hug before stepping away and heading to his room.

After that, I go to the resting area to get some sleep.

When I get there, it's empty. Marcus is still helping the injured, and Marta probably took Kira for a walk around the camp. I'm finally alone for a bit.

Sigh.

I just wish I wasn't destined to die at 21. If I had just five more years, I could do so much… fall in love, find a reason to keep surviving in this hell.

Why do these things always happen to me?

Damn it.

W-why does my life have to be so miserable? I can't live longer because some bastards did this to me.

Why don't I just die already? If I were dead, at least—

I... I wouldn't have anyone.

Damn it. I can't even be angry. I just feel sad.

W-why can't I see the people I love happy?

Why did I have to lose my family… because of this?

I-I just wanted more time… just one more year… one more month.

Sob. Sob.

Damn it.

Why do I have to die without seeing Gustavo, Marcus, and Kira safe?

Sniff.

Why can't I just disappear?

I cry in fear. I don't want to die—not like this. I wanted to go in a different way.

After crying for a while, I finally drift off to sleep.

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In a completely dark room, Alan floats as if submerged in liquid.

He can't open his eyes, no matter how hard he tries. He's completely paralyzed.

But instead of feeling afraid, he feels an overwhelming comfort, like sleeping in the best bed in the world. Alan lets his mind drift and relaxes completely.

Out of nowhere, as he rests, he hears a voice.

???: "You know, my son..."

Alan doesn't know why, but he feels like he recognizes that voice. Something deep in his soul tells him there's a profound connection to it, but he can't remember.

???: "When I was young, I discovered something really important..."

He doesn't know who it is, but just hearing that voice makes him want to cry. Alan doesn't understand why, but the tears start falling.

???: "Every life is worth living, no matter how hard it gets..."

The more the voice speaks, the harder Alan cries, unable to stop.

???: "Because life itself, from its very beginning, is beautiful. And it should never be wasted without a reason."

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I wake up with a jolt as Marcus shakes me roughly, his face filled with concern.

When he sees I'm awake, he asks, worried.

Marcus: "Alan, are you okay?"

I'm confused about why he's asking, but then I realize—I'm drenched in sweat, and it looks like I cried a lot.

When I look at Marcus, he still has that worried expression, but I quickly respond.

Alan: "I'm fine, Marcus. Really. I just… remembered something I had forgotten."

Marcus looks confused by my answer but relieved that I seem okay. Then he grins and says.

Marcus: "Wanna get something to eat? The scouting team found a place with fresh meat, so they're having a barbecue. Everyone's there—even the camp leader."

I nod immediately, having something in mind to ask him.

We leave the tent and head toward the barbecue area, where everyone is celebrating—even Trevor, who's eating a plate of pork ribs.

When I see him, I feel the urge to talk to him, but I hold myself back and just get in line for food.

After a while, I find myself sitting across from Trevor, eating a steak as we exchange glances.

Finally, he asks, confused.

Trevor: "Why are you looking at me like that, Mr. Al—"

Alan: "I want to join the scouting team."

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Power Stones, please.