Track 2: I'll Learn a Song of Goodbye

Ilaria's POV

They diagnosed me with generalized anxiety and possibly panic disorder, and told my brothers to take me to a psychiatrist to get a better idea of the proper medication. I think it's PTSD, and that they've got me on the wrong medication.

Right now I was on a low dose of Prozac. It didn't stop the terrifying nightmares and I felt like a robot—not that I would tell my brothers, because I don't want to interact with them more than necessary.

It's been a week since I went into the basement, and my brothers had placed me on bedrest. It was bullshit, but that meant I could start to formulate a plan. Not that any of them would work, but I could still try. I don't dare write anything down, though, because I don't want to risk anyone seeing it. If they do, god only knows what'd happen. Maybe I would be chained in the basement too. Maybe I'd be tortured worse than that man was. The horrifying possibilities are endless.

I hear a knock at my door, and almost immediately after Marcello walks in. I don't see the point of knocking if he's just going to walk in anyway, but I appreciate the warning, at least.

"Hey," he says.

He sits down at the edge of my bed, and it takes everything in me not to try to crawl away from him. It takes even more of me not to flinch when he gently pushes a strand of hair out of my face. Those same hands were covered in blood just a mere week ago, and maybe they even were today.

I hate it. I hate that I'm scared of my brothers, and I hate that they hurt people like they do. If they could just be normal businessmen and not psychopaths, then everything would be okay.

"Hey," I mumble back.

I don't want to talk to him any more than I have to. Not talking to them at all would be preferable, though.

He frowns. "If you're feeling bad, you need to tell us. We can't help you if you don't tell us what you need help with."

I want to scream at him. To tell him that I don't want to talk to him, and I certainly don't want his help. But, I can't. It's dangerous, and it's terrifying, and suddenly I'm crying again. He pulls me to his side, and I cry harder. I want his hands off of me. Now.

All I can see when I close my eyes is the blood that coated them not too long ago. It feels like it's on me now, too. Like it's somehow burning me even if it's supposed to be gone. I don't even think blood could burn anyone, yet it still is—even if it's only the imaginary kind.

"Oh, darling," he says. His voice is gentle and would be soothing if I didn't know what I knew.

He 's evil, and so are the rest of my brothers, and I need to get out of here before I get murdered or worse.

"I'll call the doctor in a bit, see what we can do to get you in earlier. Okay?"

I do my best to nod, even though I'm sobbing my eyes out again. I honestly don't even know how I still have any tears left to cry after crying for the last seven days straight.

"Levi and I have to head into the office today, and Eli has to go to the clinic. Cam will stay here with you, though."

He runs a hand through my hair, and I think that I'd rather rip all of it off my head instead of letting him touch it ever again.

"I'd stay with you if I could, but I can't. I'll be home tonight for dinner, and we can watch a movie tonight with everyone. How does that sound?"

It sounds like my worst nightmare. I think. I can't say that, though, so I settle for a measly "Good."

When he realizes that I'm still not really in a talking mood, he sighs and stands up. He pulls the covers up over my shoulders and kisses my forehead.

Tears prick at my eyes again. I don't understand how they can be so sweet and caring with me, yet seemingly evil and heartless with that man and who knows how many others. I just don't get it, because it makes no sense. I don't think that it ever will.

"Remember, Cam will be here if you need anything. I think he's inviting some friends over, but you know he'd still do anything for you."

"I know," I say.

I also know that he was the one carving a man's skin off in our own basement a week ago. I know that the blood was on everyone's hands, so he wasn't the only one. I know that there were sick smirks on everyone's faces, and that they were all laughing as the man writhed in pain.

It makes my stomach drop and lurch. It makes me want to scream and cry and throw up. I don't though.

"I'll see you later, darling. Don't overexert yourself," he says.

Then he walks out of the room. And, suddenly, I want to laugh because I have anxiety, not a physical injury.

Despite that, I go back to mentally preparing a plan as soon as the silence settles back into my bones. I know I need to talk to someone about this, to bounce ideas off of them and figure out what works best. But, it's not like I can invite anyone here. Plus, I'm not sure how I'd get out considering the fact that there's guards everywhere and that Camden's still in the house—unless…

I look at the clock on my beside table. It's still early, which means that Camden's definitely still asleep, which means maybe I could sneak out. I grab my phone and send a quick text to Maru to pick me up in about an hour. She responds almost instantly that she'll be there by 8:30, if not earlier. Hopefully I can convince the guards to let me go with her.

I shove my phone in my back pocket, and start packing the essentials into a backpack. Realistically, I know that I'm going to need to drop my phone somewhere before I actually leave, because it's easily traceable. That will have to come later, though, because I need to be able to contact Maru if I have to.

Once that's packed, I make my way to Marcello's office. I'm not supposed to go in there alone, but since Camden's definitely still asleep—and the only one who's home—I make my way in anyway. I walk right up to the safe and type in the passkey. Marcello made sure that everyone knows all the combinations for "emergency purposes." As much as I'm glad he did that, I also think he's a complete idiot for not thinking that this situation might occur.

Once it opened, I grab my birth certificate, social security card and high school diploma out of it, and shove them into the folder I was carrying. Once I shove the folder into the backpack, I gently close the safe and make my way outside.

Right as I do, I get a text from Maru that says that she's arrived. I quickly make my way over to the gate. There's a guard conversing with her through her car window.

I know that somehow I'll have to move my way through my robotic haze and turn on the charm. I'm not looking forward to it, but if I want freedom, I'm going to have to earn it.

"Ms. Lombardi, your brothers didn't say anything about you going out today."

"I know, but I just asked Cam if I could, and he said as long as I'm home by one that I can go." I smile at her as convincingly as I can. I have to hope that she buys this performance enough that she doesn't contact my brothers at all. That's the only way this will work—and it also hinges on the notion that Cam will stick to his normal sleep schedule and not wake before then.

The guard sighs. "Alright… but if you're not back by one, I'm alerting your eldest brother."

"Thank you!" I say, my smile genuine this time. "I'll see you then."

The guard smiles back, and as soon as I hop into the car, Maru zips off like there's no tomorrow. She's always been a speed demon, and today is no exception. I hoped with how fast she was going that we'd lose the guards before they were able to follow us.

"What's up?"

I can feel my eyes start to water already, so I blink as hard as I could to try to hold the tears at bay.

"I went into the basement," I say quietly.

Maru squeals in excitement as she stops at a stop sign, but when she looks at me, her smile drops instantly.

"What happened?"

"I can't tell you," a tear falls, and then another, and another. "It could get you in trouble."

"Did they hurt you?" Her voice sounds like it could cut diamonds if it was a possible feat for sound to accomplish.

She turns onto the main road.

"Not me."

"How bad?"

"Like, really bad. Really, really, really bad."

She holds her breath for a second before exhaling. "Is it, like, you need to leave bad, or…?"

"I think so," I whisper.

There's another pause—longer this time—as she thinks. It looks like a lightbulb goes off when she's done.

She swerves into the lefthand turn lane and makes a sharp U-turn, making me grip onto the handle-thing that's near the roof of the car.

"Shit, Maru, slow down."

"First off, you just said that you're in danger, so no. Second, I have an idea. Did you pack everything you need?"

"I think so." I run through my mental checklist, which seems to have everything checked off.

"Good," she says. "Marrisa's cousin and some of her friends is leaving in, like, an hour. She's going to be touring all over, which means you won't be in one specific place, which means there's a less chance of being found. I'm sure we can convince her to let you go too. Do you still have that flip phone from the pre-grad party?"

"Yeah, I packed it. I'm gonna have to dump my normal one somewhere, though."

Without a second thought, Maru says, "Throw it out the window."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. There's probably not gonna be a second chance, so dump it while you can."

"But—"

She rolls her eyes at me. "I swear to god if you say that you hate littering I'm gonna throw you out the window. Dump the thing, now."

I roll my eyes back, but do as she says. It falls into a ditch right off on the backroad we had just turned back onto.

"See," she says, "that wasn't so hard."

I snort, and punch lightly her in the arm. "Whatever."

The rest of the drive passes in silence. It seems that we're both lost in our thoughts too much to say anything. I'm not sure whether that's good or bad.

Eventually we pull into an area in the middle of the woods, with a seemingly abandoned shack in the middle of a clearing. We drive up the long, winding gravel road to reach the entrance.

The closer we get, the more I can make out the people that are loading various instruments and other equipment into what seems to be a refurbished school bus. They don't look like a cohesive group—with each person having a completely different aesthetic—but they all look like they'd be the best friend group if you were allowed to join.

There's a girl with clothes similar to the style that I wear. She seems to be about the same height and build as I am, but she would easily be distinguishable from me in a crowd with her white-blonde hair. She also looks like she enjoys her style of choice, while I feel trapped into mine.

A thought flits through my head, that maybe I could give her my old clothes and I could get new ones. Ones that I feel fit me better. That would be nice. I would have to get my own money though, and probably a debit or credit card. I've never been allowed to have one of those before, but I do have a few hundred dollars in cash on me right now.

The boy with his arm around her has neatly-styled ginger hair. He's wearing jeans and a varsity jacket. He's on the shorter side, but that seems to work out well for the blonde girl, because she seems to be on the shorter side—just like myself.

There's another boy with dark, curly hair, bleach-style ripped jeans, and a black leather jacket thrown carelessly over a flannel and a white t-shirt. He's slim and tall, but not lanky. He seems to be carrying himself with the punk-rock equivalent of elegance. He's pretty, with his sharp jawline and bright blue eyes that I know I could get lost in if I wasn't careful.

The last girl is gorgeous. She's wearing some type of band merch and patchwork jeans. There's two silver necklaces hanging from her neck: one with a lock pendent and another with a key. She has lilac hair and dark brown eyes that I want to drown in. She waves at our approaching car as she sees it, and Maru waves back. I don't think she noticed me staring—or at all.

As the car pulls to a stop, I look at Maru. "Are you sure that you didn't bring me here to kill me?"

"I'm sure… although they would definitely help hide the body."

I laugh, but on the inside I'm trying not to cry. This is really hard for me, because I've never truly been on my own before, and because of the horrifying basement situation.

I take a deep breath. I don't have a choice but to leave, and this is probably the best out of any possible outcome.

Maru gives me a side hug, shifting awkwardly over the center console.

"It'll be okay," she says softly. "I promise."

I nod, and whisper out a "Thanks" in return.

We get out of the car, and the blue-eyed boy and the purple-haired girl both look me up and down appreciatively—at least I think so. I could be being a delusional type of hopeless romantic, but that's what it seemed like. I wouldn't ask, though, so I'd never know. Oh well.

"Who's this?" They say at the same time, and then turn and glare at each other like they're mortal enemies.

"This is Ilaria," Maru says, before I can even open my mouth to introduce myself. "She kinda needs to get away and lay low for a while, so I figured maybe you could help her out?"

The purple haired girl nods in understanding, and the blue-eyed boy rises from his seat on the ground to walk towards us. He stops beside the purple haired girl, and smiles at me gently.

"Don't worry, we're all running for something over here. I'm Daniel—you can call me Danny, though. The girl on my left is Stella. Behind us is Jesse and Jules."

"Do you sing?" Stella asks. I'm taken aback momentarily, before I mentally slap myself in the face. They're clearly in a band, which means I'd probably have to join if I wanted to go with them. I was excited. I've always wanted to be in a band.

"I was in choir in school, if that counts?"

She nods again. "Do you remember whether you were an alto or a soprano?"

"Um… it depended on the song."

"Okay, we can work with a mezzo-soprano."

Danny cut in again. "I'm not sure how long we can promise a unknown life—seeing as our goal is to get famous—but you're more than welcome to come with us. We could use a lead singer."

I burst into a blinding smile. Maybe things weren't gonna be so bad after all.