HELLLLL YEAAHHHH!
[Somewhere Beyond Life and Death…]
Coll Apsi's consciousness stirred. He felt… light. Almost weightless. His body, once locked in an unfortunate position, was now free. Yet something was wrong—his skin didn't feel real, his heartbeat was silent, and the world around him…
It was white.
Endless. Infinite.
No walls, no floor, no ceiling... just an expanse of nothingness stretching beyond comprehension. It was as if he had been thrown into the void itself.
"…Am I dead?"
The moment the words left his mouth, a ding rang in his ears. A floating holographic panel suddenly materialized in front of him, glowing with golden light. The text on it read:
[Welcome to the Afterlife System]
Processing Cause of Death…]
Cause of Death: Acute Gacha-Induced Neural Overload (AGINO).
Classification: World's First Recorded Case.
Do you wish to view public reactions to your death?
"…Huh?"
Coll hesitated for a moment before tapping the glowing 'Yes' button. Instantly, thousands of news articles, live chat messages, and social media posts flooded the air around him, forming a giant floating display.
His entire death had become international news.
—
[Breaking News: Top Pro Player Found Dead in Kayang Position]
Reporter: "Coll Apsi, legendary pro gamer, was discovered in his apartment in a shocking state. Authorities confirm his death was due to extreme neural overload while playing Yggdrasil Online."
Old Lady Commenting on TV: "Back in my day, people died in wars, not from damn video games!"
—
Gensh*nImpact_Official: "We mourn the passing of Coll Apsi. To honor him, we are launching the 'Coll Apsi Memorial Banner' with increased drop rates. May his luck be better in the afterlife. (emoji_pigeon.rpg)"
Chat User - WaifuCollector69: "Bro died and Gensh*n still trying to milk him LMFAO. (emoji_squirt.rpg)"
—
Yggdrasil Online Devs (Verified): "We take no responsibility for his death. However, we are launching a 'Neural Overload' mode in his memory. Warning: You only get ONE life."
StreamerReactingLive: "No way they're capitalizing on this… THEY'RE ACTUALLY ADDING A GAME MODE BASED ON HIS DEATH?!"
ILikeMyCheeseDrippyBruh: "At least my cheese drippy bruh. (emoji_cheese.rpg)"
—
United Nations Official Statement: "A special summit will be held to discuss gacha addiction and its effects on modern society."
AI TheoryGuy: "This proves we're in a simulation. The world literally broke because a dude overdosed on gacha pulls."
—
National Gaming Addiction Helpline (Verified): "If you or someone you love is about to pull on a banner at 3 AM, please seek help."
Chat User - BasedSummoner: "Too late. JUST ONE MORE PULL. (emoji_fire.rpg)"
—
[Beyond Life and Death – Coll Apsi's Existential Crisis] (emoji_demon.rpg) (emoji_sheesh.rpg)
Coll Apsi continued to stare at the floating panels, his soul slowly leaving his nonexistent body.
This… This was too much.
Not only was his death being live-streamed worldwide, but people were laughing. Making memes. Capitalizing on it.
And worst of all—
They turned him into a damn limited-time event.
"…I was a legendary pro gamer." His voice trembled. "I was the undisputed king of Yggdrasil Online."
He clutched his head as reality set in.
"Yet history will only remember me as the 'Kayang Corpse Gacha Addict.'"
***
Meanwhile, the live broadcast continued, and the chat descended further into madness.
—
[Live Chat Reactions – 50 Million Viewers]
User - GachaVictim420: "Bro died trying to pull a waifu… He really gave his soul for the meta. (emoji_skull.rpg)"
User - SummonOrNothing: "Imagine spending your entire life grinding, only to die like a pretzel with a boner. (emoji_laugh.rpg)"
User - CollIsLegend: "Rest in peace, king. But fr, why did they have to describe your position like that? (Emoji_coffin.rpg)"
—
[Official Responses]
Yggdrasil Online Developers:
"In honor of Coll Apsi, all players will receive a free 'One Last Pull' ticket. Use it wisely. (emoji_tree.rpg)"
Stock Market Report:
"Following the announcement of Coll Apsi's death, gacha game stocks have skyrocketed. Investors claim this proves the 'gambling spirit' will never die."
Medical Experts:
"This is the first recorded case of 'Gacha-Induced Neural Overload.' We are studying how a game can cause lethal brain activity."
Coll's Mother (During an Interview):
"This little sht wasted all his money on JPEGs instead of helping his own mother!! Where did all that tournament prize money go *********** ****** ****+#-$(#?!"
***
[Back to Coll Apsi's Breakdown]
Coll trembled, scrolling through the messages.
His entire family was mourning his death, but not because they missed him.
They were mad about his spending habits.
His fans were sad, but mostly because they wouldn't see him play anymore.
The developers were profiting.
The world was laughing.
And worst of all…
They turned his corpse into a meme.
—
User - PeakMemeology: "Live fast, die young, stay hard. (emoji_skull.rpg)"
User - RIPBozo: "Bro went out like a true gamer—peak posture, max determination. (emoji_moai.rpg)"
User - LastStand69: "New speedrun category unlocked: 'Kayang% Any% No Reset. (emoji_fire.rpg)'"
User - CopiumKing: "No way he's actually dead. I bet this is an ARG. He's gonna wake up and stream any second now. (emoji_cry.rpg)"
—
Coll stared, his mouth hanging open. He had expected a simple obituary, maybe a few mourning fans.
Instead, he had become an international spectacle.
A meme.
A case study.
A historical event.
"…You've gotta be kidding me."
Just as he was about to process the insanity of it all, the Afterlife System panel changed.
Coll felt his soul leave his body a second time.
He had spent years training, practicing, becoming the best player in the world.
And now?
Now his greatest legacy was—
A gacha addiction.
A ridiculous death pose.
And an entire world laughing at his downfall.
He collapsed to his knees.
"No… No, no, no… This CAN'T be how I'm remembered."
Just then—
DING!
The floating system panel blinked again.
[Due to Overwhelming Embarrassment, You Have Unlocked the Unique Skill: 'REPUTATION REDEMPTION.']
[This Skill Allows You to Rewrite Your Own Legend in Another World.]
Coll's eyes widened.
A second chance?
A way to erase this shame?
He wiped his face, determination burning in his eyes.
"…Alright. Let's do this."
[Due to the Absurdity of Your Death, You Have Been Selected for Special Reincarnation.]
[Would You Like to Begin Your New Life?]
[YES] — [HELL YEAH!]
Coll Apsi stared at the two options. There was no 'No.'
He sighed.
"…Fine, let's see where this goes."
The moment he tapped 'HELL YEAH,' the white void exploded into light.
[Divine Judgment – The Slap of Truth]
Coll Apsi barely had time to react.
The moment he tapped [HELL YES!], the entire white void trembled. A crack formed in the space above him, light pouring through like a heavenly revelation.
And then—
SLAP!
A palm, swift and merciless, descended from the heavens and smacked the soul out of him.
"ACK—?!?!"
Coll's head whipped to the side, his cheek burning with divine punishment.
Before he could process what happened, a celestial voice thundered through the void.
"COLL APSI, YOU MISERABLE EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!!"
Coll turned his head slowly—only to be met with another slap.
SLAP!
"YOU SPENT $100,000 ON JPEG WAIFUS AND IGNORED YOUR DYING GRANDMOTHER!!"
SLAP!
"YOU HAD A SIX-FIGURE SPONSORSHIP DEAL—BUT BLEW IT ALL ON A LIMITED GACHA BANNER!!!"
SLAP!
"YOU COULD HAVE BOUGHT A HOUSE!! A CAR!! A FUTURE!! BUT NOOOOO, YOU CHOSE TO ROLL FOR A 2% DROP RATE!!!"
SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
Coll's soul spun like a fidget spinner. His face swelled. His pride shattered.
"WAIT! WAIT, STOP!!" He waved his arms in surrender. "THIS IS ABUSE!!"
The divine light intensified.
BOOM!
A figure descended.
A woman, radiant and terrifying. A deity of unimaginable beauty… and absolute fury.
Her golden hair flowed like divine fire. Her eyes blazed with judgment. And in her hands—
A golden slipper.
Coll's soul screamed.
"N-no, please—"
"YOU DIED IN A KAYANG POSITION, YOU ABSOLUTE CLOWN. HAVE YOU NO SHAME?!"
SLAP!
The golden slipper crashed into his other cheek, sending him flying.
Coll somersaulted through the void, his past sins flashing before his eyes.
He saw himself promising his mom he'd save money.
He saw himself maxing out his credit card on gacha.
He saw himself convincing his fans that 'F2P is viable'—while secretly being a whale.
"I... I was a menace..."
The goddess hovered over him, arms crossed.
"Yes. You were."
Coll gulped.
"...S-so what now?"
The goddess raised the slipper again.
Coll paled.
"WAIT—!!"
[The Divine Stand – Coll Apsi's Final Gambit]
Coll Apsi, despite the overwhelming pain, humiliation, and divine face-slapping, suddenly straightened his back.
With the grace of a fallen king, he raised one hand high—a pose of legendary defiance.
His eyes, though swollen from repeated smacks, gleamed with unwavering dignity.
His breath, though shaky, carried the weight of a man who had seen both glory and disgrace.
And then, with a voice both solemn and dramatic, he spoke the words of fate.
"… Nothing."
"… But I am prepared."
The void fell silent.
The Golden Slipper, inches from smashing his face again, froze in midair.
The goddess, her divine wrath momentarily interrupted, furrowed her brows in genuine confusion.
"Coll Apsi…" she muttered, eyes narrowing. "Did you… eat something weird before you died?"
Coll's lips trembled.
His body was broken.
His legacy was in ruins.
His entire existence had become a meme.
And yet—
For the first time since his death… he had the high ground.
He slowly lowered his hand, taking a deep breath.
And then, in a voice filled with mystery and meaning, he whispered—
"You wouldn't understand."
—
The goddess squinted.
"…Excuse me?"
Coll remained stoic.
Unyielding.
Unfazed.
…Despite the fact that his entire face was still red from multiple slaps.
The goddess crossed her arms, tapping her foot.
"…Are you seriously trying to act cool after dying in the most embarrassing way possible?"
Coll did not blink.
He simply smirked.
"… A king does not kneel." (mewing)
—
Silence.
The goddess blinked.
The Golden Slipper wobbled in her grasp.
A second passed.
Then another.
And then—
PFFFT—
The goddess snorted.
A divine being. A celestial ruler of fate. A goddess with infinite wisdom and cosmic authority.
She just—
She just snorted.
A tiny, undignified laugh.
The moment it slipped, she froze, eyes widening in shock.
Coll caught it.
He saw the crack in her divine composure.
And with the precision of a man who had survived years of online trash talk, he delivered the final blow.
"… Kuh… Khukhukhu."
He chuckled.
"…I win."
—
The goddess's eyebrow twitched.
And then—
SLAP!
The Golden Slipper finally descended.
[The Enlightenment of Coll Apsi – The Slipper Dao]
As the Golden Slipper hurtled toward his face once more, Coll Apsi did not flinch.
This time—he moved.
With the grace of a cultivator ascending beyond mortal understanding, his hand shot up, grasping the wrist of the divine goddess.
The void shuddered.
The goddess stiffened, her celestial eyes widening in sheer disbelief.
"You…" she gasped. "How dare you touch my sacred hand?!"
Coll, however, was unfazed.
His expression serene. His spirit unwavering.
He slowly turned his gaze towards her, his swollen cheeks gleaming under the divine light.
Then, with a voice filled with boundless wisdom, he spoke the words of eternity.
"…I have seen the truth."
The goddess blinked.
Coll closed his eyes.
"…The heavens… the earth… the ephemeral nature of life…"
"…All meaningless before the might of the Slipper Dao."
—
The void rippled.
The cosmic balance trembled.
The goddess staggered.
"W-What?" she stammered.
Coll smiled.
"…I have experienced pain."
He raised his other hand, spreading his arms wide, embracing the mystery of existence.
"…I have suffered humiliation."
His voice carried the weight of a thousand slaps.
"…But through it all, I have come to understand."
Coll exhaled.
He opened his eyes—serene, all-knowing.
And then, with absolute certainty, he declared:
"…I have transcended."
—
The goddess trembled.
Her divine body felt light, as if the very foundations of reality were shifting.
"…This can't be… No mortal… no foolish gacha addict should be able to reach enlightenment so quickly…!!"
Coll nodded slowly.
"…Gacha? Streaming? Online flame wars?"
"…I have shed all attachments."
"…I am no longer Coll Apsi, the foolish gamer."
"…I am now a seeker of the Grand Path."
"…A wanderer of the Eternal Dao."
"…A humble disciple of the Slipper."
He slowly bowed.
"…Honored goddess, I beseech you—"
"…Enlighten me further."
"…Strike me once more."
—
Silence.
The goddess stared.
Then, ever so slowly—
She narrowed her eyes.
"…You cheeky bastard."
Coll smirked.
SLAP!
The Golden Slipper descended once more.