Scattered Control

James ran a hand through his strawberry blonde hair and stopped by the window, staring out at the campus. There was a gnawing feeling in his chest that he couldn't shake. No matter how hard he tried, Jordan Miles seemed to be everywhere in his thoughts, He had always prided himself on his control, on never letting anyone get to him, but Jordan... Jordan had somehow broken through all his defenses without even trying.

It wasn't just Jordan's skills on the court or his undeniable presence—it was the way he carried himself, the way he challenged James without even knowing it. For all the bravado and the harsh words, Jordan was real. He didn't put on a facade like the other players James was used to. The rawness of his ambition, his strength, the way he looked at James... it all hit him in a way he wasn't prepared for.

James scoffed at himself. This is ridiculous, he thought.

But the nagging feeling was there. It was subtle at first—those moments when Jordan smiled at him or when they had those brief, tense exchanges. And now, it was impossible to ignore.

As he thought back to their confrontation after practice—when Jordan had brushed him off, so focused on his future—it struck him. Jordan was so determined, so clear about his goals. The way he carried his burdens, the weight of his mom's sacrifices, his desire to succeed—it wasn't like anything James had ever known. And yet, there was something about it that made him want to protect Jordan, to be a part of that world even if he couldn't understand it fully.

Get it together, James told himself. You've got enough on your plate. You don't need this. You don't need him.

But as he lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, the thoughts kept swirling. Jordan was like a pull James couldn't escape. Every time their paths crossed, whether it was on the court or in class, something inside James shifted, something deeper than the rivalry, deeper than the arrogance.

And that's when it hit him. Maybe he wasn't just irritated by Jordan's presence. Maybe it was more than that. Maybe... maybe he was feeling something he wasn't supposed to.

He let out a frustrated groan and tossed his phone aside. It was fun Teasing Jordan but he wasn't gay right. He'd never thought about men that way before. He had always been so sure of his identity, his place in the world—so why the hell was Jordan messing with that?

This wasn't supposed to happen. He had spent years building a persona, one that was untouchable, invincible. He had his sights set on the NBA, on success, on proving to everyone that he was the best—no one had room for this kind of mess. He wasn't supposed to be questioning his own feelings, least of all for someone like Jordan, who had seemed like nothing more than a rival, an annoyance.

But now, every time Jordan laughed, every time their eyes met, every time Jordan stood up for himself or pushed back against James—he couldn't help but wonder if maybe there was more to it. The way Jordan's eyes would linger on him for just a moment too long. The way he challenged James in a way no one else ever did. It was all adding up in ways that made James's head spin.

He felt like he was on the verge of something, but he couldn't place it. He wanted to believe it was just a phase, that he'd get over it and move on. But every time Jordan's smile flickered across his mind, every time their voices echoed in his memory, James couldn't shake the feeling that this was more than just rivalry or frustration.

Shit, James thought, his stomach twisting. Of all people to have feelings for, it had to be his bloody rival.

He stood up, grabbed his jacket, and walked out of his dorm, heading aimlessly toward the basketball courts. He needed space. Time to think. Time to get his head straight. But as he neared the court, he spotted Jordan practicing, the sweat dripping down his face, his body moving fluidly as he shot baskets. James couldn't help but watch, the familiar pull drawing him in again.

Focus, Calloway, he mentally scolded himself, but the words felt hollow. All he could see was Jordan—tall, determined, driven.