Thirteen

Six a.m., I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock. I immediately got up to get ready since my first class was at 7:15. As usual, I followed my morning ritual—preparing my breakfast, which was just oatmeal, so it was as easy as 1, 2, 3… After that, I took a bath, brushed my teeth, and got dressed. And voila, I was ready for the first day of school after the Christmas break.

I felt a bit excited and nervous at the same time. Excited to see my friends, classmates, and groupmates and to dive into new adventures with them. But also nervous… because of James and the rest of the gang. Anyway, I was ready for whatever consequences I might face today and in the coming days.

Right now, I'm hanging out at the MC Center, waiting for Mitch and Zette since we're not classmates in my two minor subjects. I came straight here after attending three consecutive classes. I don't get bored waiting here because it's relaxing—there's free music, and the place is fully air-conditioned.

"Hi, Sir! Good morning!" I greeted one of the professors passing by on his way out of the MC Center.

"Hello, Ms. Demiranda! Morning. No class?" he asked.

"Just finished, Sir," I answered quickly.

"Okay. I'll go ahead—I'm starving. I didn't get to eat breakfast earlier because I was in a hurry. I was almost late when I arrived since I had to drop my kids off at school. My wife left earlier than me for a work trip at the airport," he explained.

"Alright, Sir. Take care," I replied with a smile.

That professor is really kind, which is why many students want to be in his class. Prof. Antonio is very approachable and considerate. He understands student life because he was once a student himself—he knows how it feels.

After he left, I went back to reading my book while enjoying the music playing in the background. The DJ on board was playing relaxing tracks since that was the set playlist.

"Hi, ate!" a sophomore greeted me.

"Hello! Do you have class?" I asked.

"My next subject is later. I'm just waiting for my groupmates since this is our meeting place for our radio drama project," she explained.

"Oh, okay. That sounds fun," I said cheerfully.

"Is it hard?" she asked.

"It's hard if your groupmates don't cooperate. Everyone in the group needs to be active and present. You should also practice before recording so you can deliver your lines more easily when you're familiar with them. No need to memorize word for word—just get the gist so you can add the right emotions. That's how our professors taught us back then," I explained.

"Thank you, ate Lui!" she said with a big smile. She's a pretty girl. I recognized her—she's also a Mass Comm student—but I didn't know her name.

"You know my name?" I asked, surprised that someone from the lower years recognized me.

"Yes! A lot of my classmates know you. You have a cool reputation," she said, flashing a peace sign. I couldn't help but laugh—so that's how they saw me, even in the lower years.

"What? Cool? Why do you say that?" I asked.

"No offense, ate, but you don't act very feminine—you're kind of boyish. You always wear jeans and a T-shirt, so I guess that became your trademark to us," she explained.

I laughed again.

"Well, for the record, I'm a certified girl—completely straight. I just dress like this because it's what I'm comfortable in. Since we started doing fieldwork, we've been required to wear comfortable clothes. You'll experience it too when you reach this level. Soon, as juniors, you won't have to wear uniforms anymore," I explained.

"That's exactly what our professor told us when someone in our class asked why juniors and seniors no longer wear uniforms. A lot of us are actually looking forward to it," she replied.

"Yeah, but just so you know, revealing clothes aren't allowed since we're not in the fashion industry. You can wear polo shirts—either short or long sleeves—or regular T-shirts like what I usually wear. Blouses are fine, but nothing revealing, okay? As for bottoms, only jeans or slacks are allowed. Shorts and skirts are a no-go for fieldwork because, well… just in case there's running or sudden movement involved," I said, laughing.

"I'll make sure to remember all of that. Thank you, ate! Honestly, I thought you were strict and intimidating because a lot of people say they're scared to approach you," she added.

"Huh? That's a thing?" I asked, chuckling.

"Yes! Even I was nervous earlier, thinking you might ignore me," she admitted shyly.

"It's not like that. I just don't talk much if I don't know the person or if they don't speak to me first. Plus, the way I interact depends on who I'm talking to. If someone treats me nicely, I'll be nice too. But if they're rude, well… I can be twice as rude," I explained.

"Thank you so much, ate Lui! Sorry if I disturbed you while you were reading," she said.

"No, it's alright! I was just reading to pass the time while waiting for Mitch and Zette. We're having lunch together since my minor subjects ended earlier than theirs," I told her.

"Thanks again! I really enjoyed talking to you," she said.

"Same here," I replied with a smile.

Just then, the main door of MC Center opened, and a group of MC students walked in—probably her classmates she had been waiting for. Before heading to their group meeting, she even introduced me to them, though the only name I actually remembered was hers—Christine.

A few minutes later, Mitch and Zette arrived, already carrying food since I had given them money before they went to class. We headed straight to the pantry for an early lunch since it was only 11 a.m.

My Monday ended with minimal stress, though we already had assignments. Nothing too overwhelming—I had finished most of them, except one, which wasn't due until Friday. It was a reflection paper for English, so I still had plenty of time.

I was relieved that I didn't run into anyone from our mountaineering org today. I was sure they already knew what had happened, but I wasn't ready to face them yet. I didn't even want to think about how they'd react when they saw me.

Mitch, Zette, and I were deep in conversation as we left the school gate. Since we were done with classes for the day, we decided to grab dinner before heading home.

Then—

"Lui!" someone called from across the street.

"Stay there! We'll come to you!" Jed shouted, accompanied by Ali and, of course, Georje.

Mitch and Zette immediately exchanged glances with me—we already knew what was happening. I wasn't going to be able to go with them anymore.

"Well, Lui, we'll see you tomorrow instead. You've got company now," Mitch said, pointing at the three guys.

"Uh, okay. See you tomorrow," I replied, watching as they walked off toward the mall, where we had originally planned to eat.

"Hi, Lui! How are you?" Ali greeted me right away, as expected—he was always the most talkative one.

"Hey, hello! I'm okay, still the same," I quickly answered, keeping my eyes only on Jed and Ali. I couldn't bring myself to look at Georje—I was too nervous. I hadn't expected to see him today. I was actually planning to call him first so we could talk before our radio exposure started again.

We were assigned to different radio stations, each with a required number of hours before being transferred to another station. Most of the time, we didn't have much to do unless the DJ on board gave us tasks. Our role was mostly observation, though sometimes we were allowed to operate the console, play songs, go on-air for time checks, or read song requests. Afterward, we had to write a report about our experiences in the different radio stations, whether FM or AM.

"Are you heading home?" Jed asked.

"Yeah, I don't have any more classes. Plus, our fieldwork doesn't resume until next week, so I'll be getting home early until Friday," I explained.

"That's good! So, does that mean you can join us for dinner?" Ali asked excitedly.

"Yeah, sure," I answered briefly.

"Nice! We've been waiting for a chance to hang out with you again. Let's make the most of it," Ali said cheerfully.

"Let's go? Let's just eat at the mall—it's convenient since it's near the jeepney and cab stops," Jed added. Meanwhile, Georje remained silent. The only acknowledgment he gave me when they arrived was a simple nod, which I returned.

It was confusing. He once told me he liked me a lot, but I couldn't see or feel it. He was always stiff and cold—I never saw any emotion from him. That's why I was so shocked that night when I saw his teary eyes as he confessed his feelings. It was hard to believe. Did he really like me?

He barely spoke, and to be honest, he was so uptight. Or maybe I just didn't understand him well enough? But still, nothing had really changed about him from the first time I met him on the bus until now—except for that night of his confession. It was like he was a completely different person then.

Maybe that's why I was hesitant to admit my own feelings. He was too difficult to read. Honestly, if he hadn't confessed first, I probably would've just kept my feelings buried forever.

I was pulled back to reality when Ali nudged me.

"Hey! You're spacing out so much you didn't even hear what I was saying," he complained.

"Huh? I was just thinking about whether I remembered the deadline for our English reflection paper correctly. Uh… what were you saying again?" I lied.

"Yeah, right. That's not what it looked like," he teased, flashing a mischievous grin.

"Oh, come on! Why ask if you're not going to believe me anyway?" I snapped.

"There it is! That's the Lui I know—not the quiet, spaced-out version," he teased even more.

"You annoying guy! You really know how to get on my nerves, huh? Is that why you wanted to see me? Just to mess with me? I might as well just go home and finish my assignments," I huffed.

"Ali, cut it out! We finally got to hang out with Lui again, and you're gonna ruin it by teasing her? Seriously," Jed scolded him.

"Relax, it was just a joke! Wow, Lui, you're still as short-tempered as ever," Ali said, laughing as he playfully slung an arm around my shoulder.

"Ali, stop it, please," I said, still annoyed.

"Okay, okay! I swear, cross my heart, may Georje drop dead if I lie," he joked, raising his right hand as if making an oath.

Georje smacked him on the head.

"Why the hell did you drag me into your nonsense? Why not just curse yourself instead?" Georje grumbled.

Jed and I burst out laughing at Ali's reaction—his lips pouted as he scratched the back of his head awkwardly.

"That's what you get! Why didn't you just take the blame yourself instead of pulling Georje into it when he wasn't even doing anything?" Jed scolded him.

"Sorry, I'm only human! And it was just a joke—you guys really can't take one. You know, you two are perfect for each other. You're both ways too serious about life," Ali sulked.

"And why is this conversation going in that direction?" I snapped.

"I'm just saying. Because it's true—you're both serious, you both love to dance, and what else…?" He stared off into the distance, thinking of more things to add while we continued walking toward the mall where we planned to eat.

"If you trip because you're too busy staring off into space, we're going to laugh at you and pretend we don't know you. It'd be too embarrassing," Jed teased.

We all burst into laughter.

"Wow! So that's how it is, huh? I was just thinking, and you guys treat me like this? It's like I'm not even your friend. You're so mean to me," Ali dramatically complained.

"You know what, bro? You're way too dramatic—it doesn't suit you. Right, Lui?" Jed teased him. I just let out a small laugh.

"Fine, gang up on me! That's how you always are. Now that you don't need anything from me anymore, especially someone here, you're just going to forget about me," Ali kept up his fake sulking.

Even though he was pouting, his mixed-race features were still evident—Ali was undeniably handsome. He was half-Emirati, which explained why so many people had a crush on him. His face was striking, with long, thick eyelashes, beautiful eyes, and a tall, well-built frame. His skin wasn't too light or too dark—he had the classic Arab look. But he hated being called "half-Arab." He would always correct people, saying he was Emirati, not Arab, because his father was from Sharjah, UAE, not Saudi Arabia.

We kept laughing and chatting as we walked to the mall. Every now and then, I caught Georje sneaking glances at me, which made me feel even more uneasy. My hands were cold and clammy from how nervous I was. I hadn't expected to run into him today. I just wanted to get inside the mall as soon as possible so I could stop sweating.

I hadn't even checked how I looked in the mirror—I never stopped by the restroom before heading home for a touch-up. I didn't even wear makeup, not even powder. So, I was sure my face was probably greasy enough to fry an egg on by now.

Once we reached the mall, we went inside and agreed to eat at the first fast-food chain we saw—pizza and pasta for dinner. While we ate, we talked about all sorts of things. Georje barely joined in, especially since the topic was our elementary school days, which he couldn't relate to. The atmosphere was lighthearted, thanks to Ali and Jed, who kept things fun.

After eating, Jed suddenly decided to go home, saying he had things to do. He dragged Ali along with him. I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or if they just made up an excuse to give Georje and me time to talk alone.

"Where are we going?" I asked immediately, breaking the awkward silence after those two idiots left us behind.

"Wait, I was just thinking about where we could talk," Georje replied.

"Oh, we can go near my apartment—there's a small park there. It's quiet, so we can talk without distractions," I suggested, not wanting us to just stand awkwardly near the jeepney stop. I didn't want a repeat of last time when we ended up crying in public.

"Okay," was all he said. He didn't speak again for the rest of the jeepney ride. I ended up paying for both of us since I was the first to pull out my purse.

After getting off, we walked past my apartment toward the small park I had mentioned.

"Here," I said, sitting down on one of the concrete benches near the playground.

"What did you want to tell me? They said you kept calling the apartment when I wasn't around," I started, breaking the silence before our conversation could stall again.

Georje let out a deep sigh and looked up at the sky. For a moment, I thought he wasn't going to answer.

"Uh, b-because… goodness, I don't know how to start," he mumbled in frustration, as if I couldn't hear him.

"Do you need more time to think?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, I'm okay. Uh, I just want to clear some things up about what I said the last time we talked. You left me speechless that time—you didn't even give me a chance to answer your question," he complained.

"That's because I wasn't ready to hear whatever you had to say," I admitted.

"Why? You asked me, right? So, I have the right to answer by explaining my side," he countered.

"Because it wasn't right to talk about it then. Someone would've gotten hurt. I don't want to be unfair to someone who has done nothing wrong to me. In fact, he's a great person—he respects me, and I should respect him too. My parents didn't raise me to be rude and heartless," I explained.

"And now?" he asked, furrowing his brows.

"I already talked to him. I chose to correct my mistakes. As I said, I don't want to be unfair, and I don't want to hurt anyone," I told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked again.

"We talked over Christmas break. We laid everything out. I told him everything—everything he deserved to know. But I didn't expect that he would understand it so easily. I thought it would be difficult to explain, but I was wrong—he made it easy for me. I felt so guilty. I still do. Even now, every time it crosses my mind. But I can't change what's already done. It was impossible to avoid the inevitable. I already hurt him… because I broke up with him," I said, my voice trembling as tears welled up in my eyes.

The weight of that night and everything he had said to me still lingered in my heart.