Thirty-Five

Despite all the problems I was facing, I didn't let my studies suffer. I forced myself to stay focused whenever I was at my OJT, but afterward, I would go back to drinking—almost as if my days wouldn't be complete without alcohol.

I still couldn't understand or accept why they blamed me for what happened. In the past few days, Amal had tried to talk to me about it, but I chose to stay silent and just listened to what she had to say.

Flashback:

"I'm sorry, Lui. I didn't know that's what she was going to do to you," Amal said. "She told me she really needed to talk to you and that she had been calling your old place several times, but you were never there. I had no idea she would go that far—I just knew that you two weren't close. But I never expected to see what I saw."

I chose to stay quiet because I didn't want to say anything I might regret. Letting her talk to me was enough.

"I know you're mad at me. I know I'm the reason your siblings and your mom are angry with you. But I'm trying my best to fix everything," she continued. "Out of all your siblings, you're the only one who never said anything harsh to me. But even so, I can't blame them—I know I made mistakes."

She kept talking while I just stared blankly into the distance, listening in silence.

"I already sent you some allowance. I know your brother didn't send you any this month because he's mad at you. Please, just let me help you, Lui. I want to do this. And please, don't take your siblings' words to heart. I know you're not what they say you are, because that's not how I see you."

She fell silent beside me, but I still didn't say a word. We were sitting together in the backseat of her car, which was parked outside Mitch's house. The engine was off, and her driver had stepped away. She had waited a whole week just to talk to me after my mother came to confront me.

After a few minutes of silence, I finally spoke.

"I should go. I have to get to work. I'm tired from my shift. Thanks for coming… and for the groceries. You didn't have to, but… thank you."

That was all I said before getting out of the car. I didn't wait for her response, nor did I look back. I just walked straight into the gate and into the house.

When I entered, I saw Mitch lounging on the couch, eating chips. I ignored her, went straight to my room, and collapsed onto my bed without even changing out of my clothes—just kicking off my shoes, leaving my socks on, and tossing my backpack onto the floor.

Everything happening in my life was exhausting. It was draining me physically and mentally. I didn't know how long I had been staring at the ceiling, as if the answers to my problems were hidden somewhere up there.

"Lui?" I heard Mitch's voice as she knocked softly on my door. I couldn't even respond—I felt too weak to speak.

"Lui?" His voice was clearer now—she had opened the door and stepped inside.

"Lui, hey! What's wrong with you? You've been silent for too long! I came in because I knew you weren't asleep," she said, making me finally shift my gaze from the ceiling to look at her.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" she reassured me. I still couldn't say anything, but my tears started falling as I looked at her.

"Lui, I don't know what to say to make you feel better," she said sadly. "But I'm here. If you need someone to talk to, I'll listen. I just… I can't promise I'll have the answers or the right advice," she sadly said.

"It hurts me to see you like this, Lui. If you're not staring into space, you're drinking. Yeah, I know you're still keeping up with your studies, but you've changed a lot," she added, holding my hand, her own eyes welling up with tears.

"These problems are wearing me down. I'm so tired," I finally whispered after a long silence.

I sat up and hugged her tightly, letting my sobs pour out. The weight in my chest was unbearable—I felt like I was suffocating.

"It's okay, just cry it out if that's what you need. I'm here," she whispered. That was the scene when Georje walked in on us.

"You're crying again. What happened?" he asked, confused, as he approached and wrapped his arms around me. Mitch stood up and had a brief conversation with him before leaving us alone.

I couldn't answer—I just kept sobbing. Georje let me cry, rubbing my back as he held me.

Later that evening, I was drinking again, this time in the living room. Mitch and Georje were having dinner in the kitchen when Mitch walked over with a plate of food.

"Eat. Even just a little. You can't just keep drinking without eating," she lectured.

"I'll eat later," I muttered, looking up at him. She was standing in front of me.

"No, eat it now before you continue drinking," she insisted.

"Geez, it's just drinking, not like I'm an alcoholic," I complained.

"I don't care. Just eat everything on that plate first," she said, still scolding me.

"Yes, ma'am," I said, forcing a small smile.

"Good."

"Did she bring this earlier?" I asked.

"Yeah. She dropped off the groceries right here in the living room, along with some cooked meals. The rest are in the fridge—we can reheat them tomorrow. I only took a little from each dish and stored the rest. No point in letting it go to waste. Good thing Georje was here to help us eat," she explained.

"I don't get her. She still hasn't given up, even though I barely talk to her. I just let her say whatever she wants," I muttered.

"Yeah, she's really persistent. I have to say, I admire her patience. She's different," Mitch said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"I noticed that too," I replied as I ate, balancing the plate on my lap. Mitch sat across from me and finally grabbed a drink himself. Meanwhile, Georje was in the kitchen, washing the dishes.

"Finish your food!" she raised her voice when she saw me stop eating.

"It's just a short break. I'm really going to finish it," I muttered.

"You better! It's a waste otherwise, and you seriously need food in your stomach since you keep drinking alcohol. It's not healthy, Lui, you know that!"

I just smiled at her words and slowly finished my food. Honestly, I had no appetite, and everything tasted bland—or maybe my sense of taste was just messed up.

"Join us here, Georje," she invited him when she noticed him walking toward us from the kitchen.

"You wanna get wasted again?" he asked, frowning as he sat beside me.

"Oh please! You shouldn't even be surprised at your girlfriend anymore. You should be more shocked if we ever see her not drinking," Mitch scoffed, shaking her head. I just smiled at him and continued eating.

Time passed quickly, and another semester was ending, which meant our OJT was also coming to a close.

"I'm so excited for today!" Zette said happily as we rode a taxi to the radio station.

"Finally, we get to experience going live on air instead of just recording! But it's nerve-wracking too—I might mess up my reading later," Mitch added.

"I even told my mom and grandma to listen because I'm going to greet them later," Zette said.

"I only told Kim. I didn't get to talk to my parents, and even if I did, I know they wouldn't be able to listen because they have work," Mitch shared, while I remained busy listening to music from my CD player, my earphones plugged in as usual.

"What about you, Lui?" Zette asked.

"Forget it—you know she never announces what she's doing," Mitch answered before I could, hearing their conversation even though my music wasn't that loud.

They continued chatting excitedly while I stayed quiet, gazing at the scenery outside as we passed by.

"Please pull over," Mitch told the taxi driver.

I got out first from the front passenger seat while the two of them exited from the back. I had already given my share of the fare when we got in. I waited for them near the entrance of the radio station building. It was our last week of OJT, and this was our final assignment since we had already completed our stints in TV and print media.

It was still early, so not many people had arrived yet. It was only 5:30 AM, and our radio program would go on air at 6 AM. This week, we were allowed to go live on air, but we would still be accompanied by the original anchor of the program. We were each given a news report to read so we could experience broadcasting live.

The experience was amazing. We were all nervous, but by God's grace, the program went smoothly. The anchor and the technical team supported us throughout, so we didn't feel left out.

Our OJT ended on a high note. We were happy and, most importantly, we had learned a lot from everything we had been tasked with.

Monday morning, we were called in for a meeting.

"Guys! Since we're done with our internship, most of us don't have much to do anymore. So, I suggest we start planning our fundraising for the Educational Tour, to help those of us with financial difficulties," our Class President announced.

"I want to hear some suggestions. We need a fundraising activity where the participants and we, ourselves, will have fun while ensuring we raise enough funds to support our classmates who need financial help," she continued.

The meeting went on until just before lunch. Afterward, we headed downstairs with our groupmates to eat together and celebrate the completion of our OJT. Some classmates who still had minor subjects stayed behind for their final exams.

Semester break came. I didn't go home. I spent time with VM and Nika before Nika left for her province. I stayed at VM's place for a few days before heading back to the city to help prepare for the fundraising event. In the meantime, Georje and I were practically living at Mitch's place.

Christmas vacation arrived, and we successfully completed our fundraising project. Our group chose Christmas caroling. It was a bit challenging since we had to send formal letters to different households and subdivisions in advance to inform them and seek permission for our caroling for a cause.

I spent Christmas with my family, since Mitch went home to her province. Then, I spent New Year's Eve with VM's family. Honestly, I felt more warmth and a sense of belonging with her family than I did with my own.

On January 2nd, I returned to the city before VM because we were about to leave for the Educational Tour.

"Happy New Year!!!" we all greeted each other at the school gate, our meeting place before heading to the seaport. We had agreed to take a ship to Cebu and fly back home by plane.

"I missed you guys!" Zette squealed.

"Me too!" Mitch replied.

"As if I wouldn't miss you guys! That would be impossible," I added, and we shared a group hug.

More and more classmates arrived, including the professors who would be joining us. Our group was slowly getting complete.

Everyone was excited, noisy, chatting, teasing, and joking around. Even I got carried away by the joy surrounding us.

"How was your break?" Zette asked me as we sat on a bench on the upper deck of the ship.

"It was okay. Same as always—nothing changed."

"I told her to come with me to my province because I knew she wasn't comfortable going home, but she refused," Mitch cut in.

"It's not that I didn't want to. I just didn't want to be a burden to your family. Plus, your vacation wouldn't have been as enjoyable if you had to divide your attention between me and them," I explained.

"It would've been fine! I even told them you'd be coming."

"Maybe next time. But thank you for the offer," I smiled at them.

"You should've stayed at my place instead," Zette suggested.

"Let it go, guys. That's in the past. Look—we're on this ship to Cebu now, aren't we? Let's just focus on that."

"You're right! We should enjoy this trip. It should be memorable since it's our first time traveling far together," Mitch added.

We spent two days and nights on the ship before arriving in Cebu. But we never got bored because our professors had prepared activities for us, making the journey even more memorable and enjoyable.

We were given a one-day break before we started tackling the lineup of tasks for the upcoming coverage and tours of various universities that offered the same degree program as ours. There was also a radio and TV station tour included in the itinerary.

Each group got busy as soon as the Sinulog Festival opened. Every day, we had assigned tasks and covered different activities leading up to the festival's highlight.

Whenever we finished our assignments early, we managed to squeeze in some time to explore the city. The important thing was that we made it back to our hostel before our 6 PM curfew. After that, we all had dinner together, followed by group reporting on our activities throughout the day.

Time flew by so fast because we were occupied every single day, barely noticing how quickly the days passed. After a month-long Educational Tour in Cebu, we finally returned to school.

Back at school, we got busy editing our materials since we had to create a video presentation and a photo exhibit showcasing our experiences from the Ed Tour. We set up the mini-exhibit in the student lounge to share our work with the entire school. We were given a week to showcase the event.

Meanwhile, Georje went back to spending time at our place after we returned from the Ed Tour. Sometimes, Ali and Jed would visit as well. The gulp sessions continued, just like during the trip—even while we were on the Ed Tour, we still managed to have those drinking sessions.