Forty-Seven

Mitch: Lui? Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I could've picked you up! Where are you now?

She sounded shocked after I told her I was in QC.

Me: I'm at a fast-food chain. I don't know exactly where your condo is in QC, and I was already starving, so I just had the taxi drop me off here.

Mitch: Okay, wait there. I'll come and get you now. I'm not far from where you said.

Lui: Alright, but don't call me anymore. I need to turn off my phone—it's low on battery. Just come here, okay?

Mitch: Okay, no problem! I just need to let someone know, and then I'll head out.

I immediately pressed the power button to switch off my phone, even though, in reality, my battery wasn't low. I just wanted to avoid getting any more calls. In fact, when I turned it on earlier, there were already tons of unread messages, but I didn't open a single one. The only reason I turned it on was to call Mitch and let her know I was here.

It was lunchtime, and it had taken me a while to get out of the hotel and find a taxi. The fares were expensive, but in the end, I had no choice but to accept the cost just to get to where I needed to go. Since I didn't know Mitch's condo's exact address, I decided to get dropped off at a fast-food place because I was hungry—both for myself and for my baby. As much as possible, I wanted to eat on time and take care of myself because my baby depended on me. I would protect and care for my child as much as I could. Even now, I was already excited to see them, even though I knew it would be months before they would enter this world and face its harsh realities. But I was ready to protect them from anything that could cause them harm.

Almost an hour later.

"Lui! Finally, we're seeing each other again! It's good you decided to visit me. Hahaha! I'm sure Zette will be jealous because you saw me first before her. Wait, who's with you? Are you finally introducing me to your Sean?" she asked excitedly after hugging me tightly.

I felt a sense of relief seeing Mitch.

"Hold on, one question at a time—I can't keep up! Have you eaten yet?"

"Oh yeah, don't worry about me. I'm still full since I had a late breakfast—it was basically brunch—so I'm good."

"That's great. You seem to be doing well here. It's obvious you're enjoying your job."

"It's the same as before—both fun and exhausting every day. But what about you? How are you? You look a little pale. Are you sick? I thought your boyfriend was taking good care of you?" she asked, puzzled.

"I'm fine. Really, I am. Don't worry, I'm not sick. This is normal, and I'm taking my vitamins anyway."

"What happened?"

"It's a long story. But later, okay? We need some privacy for that. I can't talk about it here—there are too many people. But I promise, I'll tell you everything. No secrets!"

"Alright then, let's go! I'll take you to my condo. I know you don't have anywhere else to stay, so whether you like it or not, you're living with me! Bwahahahaha!"

"You're crazy! But honestly, there was never any competition for who I'd be staying with—that's why I called you, right?"

"Then it's settled! Let's go. We still need to find a taxi since I don't have my own car yet. I prioritized getting the condo first to make life easier. Besides, it's close to the station, so I usually just take the jeep. On the way home, I usually carpool with my workmates, so I save on fare," she explained as we stood by the roadside, waiting for a taxi.

A few moments later, we were inside a taxi. She told me her condo building was nearby, so the ride wouldn't take long. And she was right—after fifteen minutes, we were already getting out of the cab. She shared that she was lucky to get a unit here because she was one of the first buyers when the building was still under construction. Since the price was still low and it was near the TV network where she worked, she didn't hesitate to invest. Apparently, many of her colleagues also bought units here.

Her unit was on the fifteenth floor. There was a convenience store nearby, and a few jeepneys and tricycles passed through the area. Luckily, she had chosen a two-bedroom unit. It wasn't very big, but it was cozy. Upon entering, there was a small receiving area on the left. Further in, there were two doors—those were the bedrooms. Across from one of the doors was another door, probably the bathroom. To the right, there was a small kitchen with a counter in the middle, followed by a dining table for two.

She didn't stay long after dropping me off because she needed to return quickly—she had only asked for a few hours away. Once she left, I decided to rest, but I stayed in her room since the other bedroom, which I was going to use, didn't have a bed yet. She said she'd go with me to buy one over the weekend since it was her day off. So, for the next two nights, we'd be sharing her bed. Good thing it was a double-sized bed.

Sigh. I don't know what I would have done if Mitch weren't in my life. I was so lucky that she welcomed me to stay with her. She said she wanted a change of environment because she was getting tired of the place where we had graduated from college. I knew it had always been her dream to work in Manila—she wanted to experience living in a new place, to have a fresh adventure.

I woke up at seven in the evening. I must have slept longer than I intended, probably because I was so exhausted from my trip from Cebu. I hadn't been able to sleep properly on the boat—I kept waking up. So, in a way, this was the most decent rest I'd had in a long time.

My hands itched to turn on my phone. I wanted to read Sean's text messages. I wanted to know what had happened to him. "Was he angry? Or was he worried? Did he suspect why I suddenly left without a word? What about Ainee? What was she thinking?" She had probably already called people in Mindanao to ask about me.

Good thing I had already told Mitch not to tell anyone that I was staying with her. I promised her that I would explain everything when she got back from work. She said she'd have dinner at home so we could eat together.

Thinking about it, I got up and took a shower so I'd be ready when she arrived. Not long after, I heard the door open—I knew it was her.

"Lui! Lui? Are you awake?" she called from outside the room.

"Yes, I've been up for a while. I'm coming out now."

"Come straight to the kitchen—we're eating! I brought food. I'm too lazy to cook because I just want to catch up with you. You owe me a lot of stories, so hurry up!" she said as I closed the door behind me.

"Alright, I'll treat you to food tomorrow," I replied as I walked toward her small dining table.

"Your dining table is so cute! A table for two—it's so romantic!" I teased when I saw it. It was small, with a wooden frame and a glass top, about the size of a restaurant table meant for two.

"Of course! Why would I need a big one? I live alone. I'll probably replace it when Kim moves here, but that won't be for a few more months—after she graduates."

"Wow, I admire you two. Your relationship keeps getting stronger every day, even though it's long-distance," I said, half-joking.

"Ugh, it's not easy, okay? We argue a lot about time. There are moments when our schedules don't match, so we can't even chat or do video calls on Yahoo. It's frustrating!" she complained.

"That's normal. But look, you're still together despite the challenges. That means you're strong as a couple," I reassured her.

"Wait, why are we talking about me? You promised to tell your story! Come on, I've been dying to know what happened to you."

And so, I started from the beginning—from my arrival in Cebu, to getting a job, to meeting Sean, to Georje showing up, and finally, to my last days in Cebu. Along with my story, I couldn't hold back another round of tears.

"Huh? I thought things like this only happened in movies! Your life is so full of drama, Lui! It's so hard when the family of the person you love doesn't accept you. So… what about Sean? Poor guy," she said, looking sad.

"I don't know. I can't talk to him yet. I'm scared that if he finds out where I am, he'll come after me. And I don't think I can handle what he'll say. Either I'll fail to stick to my decision to leave him, or I'll be completely shattered because… what if he hates me now?" I sobbed, unable to stop myself.

"What about your baby? You can't keep this from Sean forever. The child has the right to know his father."

"I'm going to continue with this. I'll take care of the baby and raise him or her well. I never planned to hide it from Sean, but for now, I can't tell him. If I do, then leaving Cebu would have been pointless. And if that happens, his parents will hate me even more," I explained, still crying.

"Lui, you know the world is small. What if you run into him here in Manila? I mean, aren't his siblings here? And don't his parents visit often for business?"

"I've thought about those things, but I'm setting them aside for now because I know it's still a long way off. What's important is that his parents will see that I was serious about leaving Cebu and that I'm standing firm in walking away from their son."

Our Q&A session continued late into the night until we both decided to go to bed since she had work the next day.

Two days later, I finally gathered the courage to send an email to Ainee. I had asked Mitch where the nearest internet shop was because I knew Ainee must be worried about me, and I didn't want Aunt Azon to start worrying too if she found out from Ainee that they still had no idea where I was. Luckily, the internet shop wasn't too far—just two blocks away from Mitch's condo building.

I found myself crying again while typing the email. I still couldn't stop. I didn't even understand why I hadn't run out of tears yet when I had been crying every day, even crying myself to sleep at night.

The email was long because I told Ainee everything that had happened—except for the part about taking the boat and where I was now. It was important that I reached out to her so she could get my things from the apartment, in case she needed them. I also told her that, for now, we could only communicate through email, claiming I no longer had a phone. But the truth was, I was just too afraid to turn it on, knowing Sean's messages would flood my inbox. I wasn't sure if I could handle it or stay strong in my decision to leave him.

I also sent my resignation letter to my former company to keep my employment record clean, so I wouldn't have trouble applying for jobs here in Manila. My work experience from my previous company would help when I eventually looked for a job in QC, but I wasn't ready just yet.

During my first two weeks in QC, I barely left the condo. I only went out when Mitch insisted. I thought about job hunting, but Mitch said I needed to take care of myself first because I wasn't in the right condition to apply. She pointed out that I looked weak, my face was pale, and the dark circles under my eyes were deep and noticeable. I didn't know why I was still so emotional even weeks later. I didn't know if it was because of the pain I had gone through or because of my hormones—because I was pregnant.

I hadn't gone back to the internet shop since my last visit because I was terrified of what Ainee might say about Sean. That also meant I had no idea how my former company responded to my resignation.

While staying with Mitch, I found out that Ali and Zette had called her, asking if she knew where I was. Word had already spread that I was missing, but they didn't get any answers because we knew that if Mitch admitted she knew something, it would inevitably reach Sean.

Then we learned that Sean had gone to Mindanao to look for me. He hadn't believed it at first when people told him they didn't know where I was, because he knew how close I was to my friends.

Now, Mitch was being extra careful because she knew Sean might come looking for me through her next. That news made me even more afraid to go outside—I was terrified that I'd suddenly run into Sean and wouldn't be able to hide anymore. I wasn't even sure if Ainee had managed to keep my email a secret from him.

I knew Sean must have already found out about my resignation. I was sure that was one of the first places he checked, knowing that was where I worked. I cried again when Mitch told me about it.

"Whew. Your love story is so heartbreaking," she said sadly after our conversation. I couldn't say anything—I just kept crying.

"Are you really not going to talk to Sean? I feel sorry for him based on what I've heard from Ali."

"I don't know. I'm not even sure anymore. After everything I've heard, I don't know if I can keep ignoring him," I sobbed even harder after saying that.

The weight on my chest felt unbearable, the pain overwhelming. I had thought that time would dull the ache, but I was wrong. It only intensified with each passing day, growing heavier every time, I heard anything about Sean.

"It hurts so much, Mitch. I don't know if I can handle all of this," I said, clutching my chest.

Mitch, on the verge of tears herself, pulled me into a tight embrace. I knew she was feeling my pain too, just from witnessing everything I was going through.

I could tell Mitch was really worried about me. Seeing how I was struggling, she decided to take me to a doctor for a check-up. She wanted to make sure both the baby and I were okay. She had even asked her coworkers for recommendations on the nearest OB-GYN, and she took me there on her day off.

The doctor said the baby was fine, but she also warned that the severe stress I was experiencing from crying so much wasn't good for me. She advised me to focus on happy memories and to avoid stressing the baby. I needed to eat healthy, get enough sleep, take my vitamins, drink milk, and—most importantly—avoid coffee and cola, since the baby needed milk more, and caffeine wasn't good during pregnancy.

"Are you really not going to change your mind? Are you really not going to talk to him?" Mitch asked. "At least explain everything to him—he might understand you. Who knows? Maybe he can even help you figure out a solution to all of this. Lui, he deserves to know the truth. You're in this relationship together, and you're not the only one hurting," she's really affected by everything that happened. But I have to stay strong. I don't want to act impulsively because there's a baby now—my top priority.

"I feel sorry for both of you," she pleaded one night when she found me sitting on the cold floor of the veranda, staring blankly into the distance.

"Lui, you know that if there were anything I could do to ease your pain, I would've done it already, right? You know me—I can't stand seeing you like this. I'm really worried about you… it's been almost a month now."

I heard everything she said, but I didn't respond. I didn't even know what to say. My mind was a mess, and deep down, I was still terrified—of Sean and of his family.

"Lui, you're crying again! Please, think about your baby—my future godchild. Think about yourself! I know you're strong. You can get through this. I'm here for you, and I won't leave you and the baby. Lui, please, I can't stand seeing you like this anymore. This isn't the Lui I know. The Lui I know is a fighter, someone with an unshakable spirit. Not this version of you—curled up on the floor, breaking down, so weak and fragile. I know you're struggling. I know you're hurting. But if you won't listen to me, I swear, I might just tell Ali where you are so they can let Sean know."

She was trying to scare me, but hearing that only made me cry harder.

"What if that happens? What will I do? Will I be able to face him? Will I have the strength to tell him what his mother said and done to me? Can my conscience handle the thought of causing trouble in his family? What if he already hates me? Will I be able to endure even more painful words from him? And what if he finds out I'm pregnant… only for him to take our child away from me?"

So many questions filled my mind, and I had no idea how to answer any of them.