Dark Bonds: The Demon Within
In a dark and dangerous world where spirits and demons threaten humanity, Jay, a lonely and troubled teenager, becomes entangled in a supernatural battle for his life and soul. The story begins with Jay encountering Ellie, a ghost searching for her lost parents. Despite her spectral nature, Ellie becomes Jay's first true friend, and the two form a bond as they navigate a city teeming with danger.
Their journey takes a terrifying turn when a wolf-like creature hunts them down. Desperate to protect Ellie, Jay makes a fateful decision to accept the power of a mysterious and sinister voice in his head. This choice transforms him into a demonic version of himself, granting him incredible strength but at the cost of his humanity. With his new powers, Jay defeats the creature, but the demon within begins to take control, threatening to consume his soul entirely.
As Jay struggles with the darkness inside him, the exorcist Chiaki intervenes, determined to stop him. She believes the only way to save the city is to destroy Jay’s heart, which the demon has claimed as its own. However, Ellie refuses to give up on Jay, risking her own safety to protect him. She believes in his ability to fight back and return to his true self.
While unconscious, Jay finds himself trapped in a crimson void, facing the demon that seeks to destroy his soul. Fueled by Ellie’s voice calling out to him and his promise to help her find her parents, Jay discovers an inner strength he didn’t know he had. He manages to not only resist the demon but also harness its power without losing control.
In the real world, Jay miraculously reverts to his human form, defying the odds and proving that redemption is possible even in the darkest moments. Chiaki, initially skeptical and prepared to kill Jay, is left astonished by his transformation and newfound strength. Together, the trio forms a tentative alliance, realizing that their combined abilities might be the key to overcoming the greater threats looming over the city.
The story explores themes of friendship, redemption, and the resilience of the human spirit, showcasing how even in the face of overwhelming darkness, hope and determination can prevail.
I am going to be completely honest with you. This is my first time providing a real review but I think I should. Just know this is what I think and don't take it to your heart. Actually, the story is just in the start so I just want to point out some things I felt as bad because this feels similar to one of my childhood favorite anime - Bleach. Positives: The Writing Quality is actually good and easy to read. The descriptions are nice and paints a nice spooky pictures of the ghosts. Though there are some minor typos but they are ignorable. This feels like a solid start to a story that could be milked for 100s of chapters. The Protagonist is not a piece of trash or not when he is not horny(pun intended). Negatives: PlotHoles There are a lot of plotholes in it. Maybe its because there are only three chapters but I just still wanted to mention them. Here are the few I noticed. The starting line of the whole story says Jay hates Days, but shouldn't it be the opposite? I mean sure, empty streets filled with weird looking ghosts is scary but Aren't ghosts mostly active at night. If you wanted to point out its because he has to go out then maybe add a single sentence. Its a webnovel so it doesn't really do that much damage and one line doesnt really make anyone drop it. Everyone makes fun of him by calling him Freak and Weirdo. And he hates ghosts for that as mentioned in the first paragraph of the story. The reason is he talks to ghosts but no one believes him. It would make sense if he really has no way of proving it but in Chapter 3, he literally hugs a ghost. But then the bad ghost passes through bystander which made me think that maybe he can physically interact with them too. If so, Why doesn't he asks any of the ghost to hold him mid-air and make it look like he's flying. Everyone would believe that, right? The bullying level of others feels really light in contrast to the Protagonist situation. Jay can see weird-shaped ghosts so absurd, spooky but is still getting bullied and scared of what? A student who beats him with a piece of paper? Truly horrific. Even I would hate them. Why is he so scared of getting bullied by paper and rather choose a different route filled with ghosts. Why is the bad ghost the first one he ever saw bad if he is seeing ghosts from the moment he was born. This should be explained. Characters All of them are generic. Sorry, but right now, This is what it felt like. Jay - Is also generic. His transformation felt like when Eren Jeager became a Titan first time. Or when Ichigo Kurosaki became hollow. Nick - A generic bully but with a twist of paper balls. Katie - Also Generic. actually a robot. Ellie - feel like A little sister but ghost. Chiaki - Maybe the most interesting character in the story because no one is interesting right now. Basically due to how short story currently is. Her Personality seems a little like Saitama with how direct she is and also hero for fun. Maybe keep her as an important character. like a mentor or something. NVM its your story so do whatever you want! Character Interaction (Dialogues) I am going to be honest with you, The Dialogues feels really robotic and it kills the mood. They don't feel natural but forced to drive the plot forward. Where are dialogues bad? Everywhere. The initial bullying dialogues feels too childish. There is also a Casper reference included lol. Nick's threat felt too cliched. And then. The Confession Scene. It felt forced. Like Katie didn't actually wanted to say it but was forced not by bet, but by her script. "Hey" "I 'just' wanted to tell you something." Just? JUST? "I like you, Jay." like WTH. I know the narrative says its because she lost a bet but even after losing a bet, No one would do this bad a confession. If evil or just fun type characters; There would be some creativity. If good-natured one; Why would they bet for it in first place. They should know what he is going through already. If arrogant; There should be more than that. The Dialogues killed the mood. Chiaki explains who she is, and then the first thing he asks for is her weapon. That felt forced. Like just want to flaunt the idea of an ever-shaping weapon for worldbuilding. And then Ellie acts like she knows Jay better than anyone and he knows her from her birth. Like "Jay, What happened to you" yeah Jay, Why are you suddenly horny when you haven't felt a thing before. Its really unlike you. I have never seen you like this before. "Jay, Stop! It's me, Ellie!" Yeah, Stop it Jay, It's me, Remember? A ghost you met seconds ago. And then chiaki is like "Salt. Known to prevent evil spirits from passing through." Who is she telling that? Jay? He lost his mind. Ellie? She is a spirit. Herself? Why. And then they are like "Jay?" OMG Did you know how scared I was when I saw you like this. Why did you hide this from me? You shouldve told me about it from the beginning. "Ellie?" I am sorry I planned to tell you but the author rushed the pacing to add a bad spirit because in webnovel if there is no conflict in first 3 chapters, the book flops. And then Chapter 3 Ends. And this is the End of my first ever review. Sorry if there are parts that are confusing. And sorry Author if you hate me now. But I bear no ill intentions toward you. I don't actually care about this 3 chapters. The only reason I spent 30 minutes writing it was because I wanted to help. This couldve been a really good psychological thriller if you delve into the mind of Jay. But instead its Action-Adventure-Generic-Webnovel. Anyways, Have a good day. Don't let a stranger's pov ruin it.
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