Chapter 34: Lower Moon Meets Bald Doom

The night air was cold and heavy with mist as a lone figure stood outside the Slayer Corps estate. His pale skin shimmered faintly under the moonlight, his eyes glowing with the eerie light unique to Muzan's chosen. This was Lower Moon Four — a demon who had survived countless battles through deception, trickery, and sheer luck.

Tonight, he had a mission: Observe. Identify. Report.

Muzan had made it clear — no foolish risks. No fights. Just confirmation of the bald anomaly.

"How dangerous could one bald man be?" the demon muttered to himself, crawling silently across the rooftop. His body slithered like smoke, blending into the shadows, his special ability allowing him to phase through solid objects.

From his vantage point, he saw the Hashira sitting together, eating peacefully. And there, right in the middle, was a man in a ridiculous yellow outfit with a blank expression, slurping soup loudly.

That's him? The demon nearly laughed. This was the monster they feared? This was the demon-erasing anomaly? This plain-faced, noodle-sucking nobody?

"This will be easy," the demon whispered.

Just to be sure, the demon decided to test the waters. From his sleeve, he released a thin needle made from his own bone — infused with his blood demon art. The needle moved like a whisper in the wind, invisible to human eyes, aimed directly at the back of Saitama's head.

One scratch, and his body will melt from the inside.

The needle flew.

Without turning his head, Saitama scratched the back of his neck absentmindedly — and caught the needle between his fingers.

The demon froze.

"Huh?" Saitama blinked at the tiny object in his hand. "Is this a toothpick?"

He casually flicked it backward, sending it soaring through the air faster than the demon could react.

SCHWIP.

The needle impaled the demon's shoulder — his own attack used against him — and immediately, his arm began to dissolve.

"WHAT?!?" the demon shrieked, tumbling off the roof in pure panic.

The Hashira jumped up, swords drawn, but Saitama just stood up, stretching. "Oh, was that a demon? I thought it was a weird bug."

Tanjiro sniffed the air. "Definitely a demon! And a Lower Moon too!"

Without hesitation, Saitama hopped over the wall, landing in front of the writhing demon. "Hey, do demons always scream this much?"

The demon scrambled to his feet, eyes wide with terror. "You… You're a monster!"

"That's rude." Saitama frowned. "I'm just a hero for fun."

The demon threw everything he had — shadow spikes erupted from the ground, ghostly hands clawed out from the earth, his blood demon art turning the entire area into a field of death traps.

Saitama stood still.

The spikes shattered against his skin.

The ghostly hands disintegrated upon contact.

The ground beneath Saitama cracked — not from the demon's power, but from the sheer force of Saitama's bored stance.

"This is awkward," Saitama muttered. "I kinda feel bad for you."

"No no no no no!" The demon backed away, tripping over his own broken shadows. "This isn't how it's supposed to go! You're just a human!"

Saitama raised his fist. "Okay, bye."

BOOM.

There was no punch — just a gentle tap on the demon's forehead. The next instant, the demon ceased to exist. No ash. No scream. Nothing. Like the universe itself decided he never belonged there.

The Hashira arrived a second later, weapons drawn — but there was no battle left to fight.

"Where's the demon?" Rengoku asked.

"Gone," Saitama said simply. "He seemed kinda weak."

The Hashira stood there in stunned silence. Shinobu actually pinched her own arm to check if she was dreaming. "Gone? Just like that?"

"Yeah," Saitama said. "Can we go back and eat now? I didn't finish my soup."

As the group walked back inside, a cold wind swept through the trees. Somewhere in the vast darkness, every remaining Lower Moon felt an unexplainable chill crawl down their spines — as if the universe itself had whispered:

Run.

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End of Chapter 34