Operation: Romantic Ambush

(Narrator: Sakura Minami)

The thing about Hikaru is… he's an idiot.

I say this with love. With years of friendship. With the deepest understanding of his tragic condition: zero self-awareness when it comes to romance.

And now, after watching him and Miyuki bicker like an old married couple for an entire afternoon, I have officially decided to fix this mess.

"Wow, look at you two," I say, leaning against Hikaru's desk. "The chemistry. The tension. The absolute refusal to admit your feelings."

Miyuki raises an eyebrow. "I feel like I walked into a reality show script."

Hikaru sighs. "Ignore her. She thinks life is a rom-com."

"Life is a rom-com," I say matter-of-factly. "And you two are giving slow-burn idiots-to-lovers energy."

Miyuki chokes on her tea. Hikaru visibly malfunctions.

Oh, this is too easy.

(Narrator switch: Hikaru Sano)

This is not happening.

Sakura is dangerous. Not in the physical sense—though she does have an unnerving amount of energy—but in the I-will-force-you-into-a-love-confession-like-a-meddling-anime-character sense.

"You know," she continues, ignoring my silent please stop expression, "I read this article the other day. Apparently, when two people are alone in a cozy environment, it helps deepen their emotional bond."

Miyuki squints. "And?"

Sakura grins. "And I just so happen to know a cute café nearby that's perfect for some 'casual bonding.'"

Oh no.

(Narrator switch: Miyuki Hoshino)

I narrow my eyes. "Wait. Is this… a setup?"

Sakura gasps dramatically. "Miyuki! I am offended! How could you accuse me of—"

"You absolutely are," I cut in.

She grins. "Yeah, okay, I am. But! Would it kill you two to spend a little time together outside of this disaster zone?"

I glance at Hikaru, who looks like he wants to fade out of existence.

…Interesting.

(Narrator switch: Hikaru Sano)

I can feel Miyuki's gaze on me. And I already know what she's thinking.

I clear my throat. "I mean. A café isn't—like—a date or anything. It's just… food."

Sakura beams like she just won the lottery. "Exactly! So, you're going?"

Damn it.

I walk right into that one.