Farewell Timothee

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Warning

The following novel contains material that may be harmful or traumatic to some readers.It contains graphic descriptions of murder, violence, and other unpleasant text.

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* images in "Characters" section are AI Generated Images and serve as inspiration and may not fully represent the author's vision. *

For a better experience, I recommend opening the Characters section so you can visualize the character as accurately as possible. The descriptions here will not be very detailed.

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I am in darkness... Nowhere, nothing.

Not a grain of life, not a grain of death.

I feel confined, yet free at the same time.

Am I really this empty? Or is it yet to come?

(Steps)

Loud footsteps.

Sharp. Deep.

I quickly look around—like a madwoman.

But nothing.

I see nothing.

I feel nothing.

Not the wind. Not warmth. Not cold.

(Steps)

The footsteps continue.

But I don't know where from.

…

How did Celeste say it? Understand your darkness…?

"H- Hello, Darkness!" I call out into the void.

(Silence.)

Thunderous silence.

And then—

"I am darkness to you?"

A familiar voice.

And then—

Burning.

My eyes. Fuck, my eyes!

They start watering. They burn.

IT HURTS.

I instinctively start rubbing them.

My breathing is erratic.

What the fuck was that?!

And then—

I wipe my eyes.

I look ahead.

And there…

Timothee.

My shock is indescribable.

"Ti-mothee?"

My lips barely find the words.

And then—

I smile.

I want to hug him.

I THROW MYSELF AT HIM!

…

But I pass through.

As if I were trying to embrace the wind.

Air.

I hug nothing.

I turn around in confusion.

And Timothee…

Is standing there.

With that sorrowful expression.

Looking at me.

"You can't?"

His voice is ironic.

A faint smile.

But in his eyes, nothing but emptiness.

"Timothee?" I say, confused.

Timothee extends his hand.

I want to take it in mine immediately.

This time carefully… hesitantly.

But my hand passes through him.

Like trying to grasp smoke—disrupting it, but it always reforms.

We look at each other.

And then Timothee breaks the silence.

"You want to hold me… To catch me. But it's too late for that, Tira."

A chill runs down my spine.

I feel guilt.

Heavy. Unbearable.

A tear forms in my eye…

A tear of sorrow.

Timothee notices.

"Don't cry, Tira. I'm not here to blame you…"

His voice is calm. Composed.

His hand reaches toward my face—he wants to caress me.

But there is no touch.

No warmth.

Only nothing.

And I start crying.

Uncontrollably.

I start hiding my face.

I don't want him to see me like this.

I don't want him to see this weakness.

"I— I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU!"

Tears stream down my cheeks.

I struggle to form words between sobs.

"I DIDN'T— I NEVER WANTED TO!"

"BUT—"

"I understand." Timothee cuts me off.

With a smile.

"I was the only reason you stayed for so long, wasn't I?" he asks.

I nod slightly.

Yes.

He was.

Timothee smiles softly. "Come… let's sit."

He sits across from me.

I… I do the same.

But I can't look him in the eyes.

I just stare at the ground.

I don't want him to see what's in them.

"So… how is it so far? Outside the Ghetto?"

"Is it like we imagined?"

His words stab me in the chest.

I slowly wipe away my tears. I take a deep breath.

"Not really."

"In some ways, it's worse… Much worse."

Timothee hesitates.

His eyes narrow slightly.

"Really?"

He looks up.

Sighs.

That hits me.

Like I've just shattered the one hope he had.

"Did that surprise you?" I ask.

Timothee thinks for a moment.

Then he looks at me.

"Maybe… a little."

"I knew it wouldn't be easy."

"But there is one thing you have within reach, isn't there?"

He smiles.

And I…

Freeze.

I look at him in confusion.

"What do you mean…?"

…

"Freedom, of course." Timothee says with a smile.

I start shaking my head. No.

"It's much harder… than it seems, Timo."

"That was to be expected, Tira…"

His voice is calm, resigned.

But then he takes a breath and asks me a question.

"Do you know what is the hardest thing to obtain in this world?"

I want to say something, but—

He continues.

"Freedom."

"To break free from the hands of those at the top. To refuse to play their game, to not be just a pawn on their chessboard."

"It's an almost inhuman task… nearly unattainable."

I lower my head.

Every word he says is true.

But then…

…

Timothee smiles.

And his smile… isn't sad.

It's proud.

"But you? You can do it."

I freeze.

I look at him.

And I see it.

I see his smile.

I see his eyes, full of pride.

Pride that I am the way I am.

"So…"

"So you will make it… You have to make it."

"If our roles were reversed… I would do the same for you. I would take on any challenge, just to fulfill the reason… why we had to leave each other behind."

"I always saw you as my support, my purpose in life, Tira… When you left me… I died. Inside, I died…"

I say it, and I look at him in shock…

"Timo?!" I say…

"I couldn't understand why you did it… But now I see."

"My desperation made me blind… But when I saw you again… I understood."

"I would have only been a burden." He says, and I… I want to be angry, but I can't. Because his words are true…

"But I don't blame you at all, Tira… Honestly. What would I even do out there? Me?"

Timothee laughs, and it brings a small smile to my face.

"I kept dreaming about how out there, I would finally live a new life… That I'd be free from the evil of the Ghetto and so on…"

"But when I see you… A much stronger and… more beautiful person, who has always managed to handle whatever fate and the world threw at her…"

"I'm glad I never made it out." Timothee says, and I freeze…

"And why? But—"

"I'd rather die in the Ghetto with a beautiful vision of freedom beyond the walls… than die beyond the walls, fail, and have to admit that it was all just a lie."

"A lie that helped me silence my eternal fear."

…

"That life out there must be beautiful, Tira… But the beginnings are always the hardest… And I… I am weak."

Timothee leans toward me as he sits…

"Promise me one thing… Because this place… it's already falling apart, and I won't last much longer here."

"Anything that comes your way in your new life… Anything that tries to threaten it…"

"Destroy it. Even if it hurts." Timothee says with a serious expression…

…

"Timo?" I say, confused… But Timothee stands up and looks at me…

"Destroy… it." Timothee says, and then he visibly inhales through his nose… He looks around, as if seeing something in the darkness… a vision? He smiles…

"Hmm."

"Even the air here… where there is none, feels much kinder and freer than in the Ghetto." He says happily and looks at me.

…

"It's time to go, Tira…" He smiles.

I quickly stand up.

"Timo, wait!" I say, my voice more urgent… because I need to ask one last, most important question…

Timothee looks at me and simply waits…

I inhale… exhale…

"Are you alive?" I ask with absolute seriousness, and this question… this question means everything to me.

Timothee looks into my eyes… and smiles…

…

"You always had the most beautiful eyes…"

A tear escapes him, and… he turns away and walks away from me…

I want to run after him immediately, but it's like I'm running in place…

"Timo!"

"TIMO!"

He doesn't respond…

"TIMO!!!"

I jolt awake, snapping back into my body, gasping for air…

Timothee… is he dead?

What have I done…

What the fuck have I done…

I'm such an idiot…

I'M SUCH A—

"Score… 10."

Out of nowhere, Celeste's voice cuts through. I look at her, and her gaze… pierces through me. She is shocked.

If the score is based on how well someone understands their darkness… then a perfect score is the highest.

Am I proud?

No.

I'm angry.

…

I'm furious…

Tears start running down my face. My breath trembles, like I'm about to break down.

"Change of plans." Celeste suddenly speaks.

I wipe my tears away and look at her—her shock still visible.

"You will go through a year and a half of training here… And then you will go beyond the wall… But you will remain part of the Void Wardens." She states out of nowhere…

I look at her in confusion. "But… BUT—"

"Tira… You have the strongest soul I have ever seen in my life."

"With a power like this… You must… You must!"

"You must stay a part of the Void Wardens. You don't understand now… But in a year, you will. Trust me."

Celeste places a hand on my shoulder…

"You can become… someone great. Someone immense."

She looks at me with a serious expression…

Her grip on my shoulder tightens.

"No, not can… You will."

"Wardens!"

Immediately, two Wardens step forward…

"This person will be monitored throughout their entire training. Wherever she goes, you will go with her…" Celeste says with a serious expression.

"WHAT?!" I shout. "YOU SAID SOMETHING ELSE! YOU SAID—"

"Too bad!" Celeste cuts me off, raising her voice.

"Like I said… You don't realize your potential yet… So I will force you to see it."

Then she nods to the Wardens, and they begin to escort me away…

That treacherous—

"Your mentor will be…"

"Me." Celeste says with all seriousness in her voice.

She will be training me… The leader herself?

She doesn't take her eyes off me…

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Somewhere in Forgotten Woods

Celestis Calendar: Day 13, Month of Raphaelis (3/9)

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One hour later

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My body burns… My mind burns. But the worst is behind me.

Ereboreth carried me somewhere into the forest at that moment… Probably his hideout.

An abandoned cabin on the edge of the woods. The whole time, I've just been lying here, writhing in pain…

All thanks to these black marks.

Fucking black marks… A gift from my master, given out of sheer gratitude.

Thanks, master.

"He appreciates gratitude."

A very familiar voice.

Who else but Ereboreth, with his usual smile, holding some kind of withered flower in his hand.

I look at him. "Oh yeah?" I say sarcastically… Fucking pain…

Ereboreth walks up to me… He watches and analyzes me for a moment.

"The black marks are settling." I say. "I'll be ready soon."

Ereboreth nods.

"What's the situation in the city?" I ask.

Ereboreth walks to the table and starts preparing something.

"Tense… Very tense." He begins cutting up the withered flower…

"And at the same time, perfect for my next plans."

He grabs a handful of the chopped flower and turns to me.

"Since you finally don't look like a corpse anymore… We can start training tomorrow." He says as he walks over to me.

"Ethyrion?" I ask, even though I already know the answer.

Ereboreth nods.

"Open your mouth." He tells me, and I obey immediately.

He pours the withered flower into my mouth…

…

And it's disgusting.

"Chew as much as you can."

The taste is bitter as hell, like eating ash. Dry. It sticks to every part of my mouth.

Fucking vile.

I swallow…

"There. You survived." Ereboreth smirks.

I look at him, my face still twisted in pure disgust from the awful thing I just ate…

Wish I could throw it up.

I finally decide to stand up… I have to.

I want to feel that sweet sensation of my legs again.

It hurts like fuck… But I'll manage!

Ereboreth watches me, just waiting…

For failure?

Or success?

I push myself up against the bed, using all my strength…

PUSH!

…

I'm standing.

I'M STANDING!

I have to admit, those marks completely wrecked me.

So much so that it was terrifying… But I survived.

I take a few steps toward the door, finally ready to see something other than the inside of this disgusting cabin…

Slowly, I start walking toward it…

And I have to say, even Ereboreth's flowers managed to calm my body to some extent.

…

I stand at the door… I crack it open and just stare at the dead forest.

The air, as always, reeks of rot, and ash is seen more often than in hell itself…

And yet…

It's still more pleasant than the Ghetto.

A fading past… A coming future.

…

Ah…

What has happened in these past five days?

So much… More than in my entire life.

And today, I realized something important…

My purpose has finally been found.

And this purpose… I will hold onto it until I see the end.

And that end… will be the destruction of everything those bastards above have touched.

So I'll start with the first thing…

Since I am already free from the influence of the heavens…

I am also free from the influence of people here.

Specifically, my mother… who gave me that filthy surname.

And my name… that too is now foreign to me.

I no longer feel like that… pathetic, miserable fool, merely surviving and hiding in the shadows.

I feel like someone completely new…

Someone with a goal and a purpose.

Hmm…

Who will I be?

…

"Timothee?"

My name echoes from Ereboreth's lips…

I think for a moment… And then I know.

I turn to Ereboreth, my face deadly serious, and I tell him my first… truly free decision.

"Timothee is dead."

Ereboreth freezes.

Not because I am no longer who I once was…

But because he can no longer read me the way he did when we first met.

Maybe it unsettles him a little… but the path is unpredictable.

It seems the Black Marks prevent Ereboreth from reading my thoughts in such detail…

That will come in handy.

I…

I will not be anyone's puppet.

…

A smirk tugs at the corner of my lips…

And I speak my new self into existence.

My beautiful self…

"I am Ashen… Ashen Abel."

Ereboreth, slightly surprised, notices the sudden shift in my new being…

Ah… A feeling of lightness wraps around me…

The atmosphere softens…

And at the same time…

The pain disappears completely, and the black marks embrace the same excitement… that I do.

Now, it's time to finally do something…

To be continued…

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