Chapter 7: The Unseen Pain

The days blurred into weeks, and with each passing day, Ainz felt something he hadn't allowed himself to feel in years—a glimmer of hope.

College had become a new chapter for him, one that, for the first time, wasn't weighed down by the heavy expectations of his parents or the suffocating grip of his own fears.

It wasn't that the struggles had disappeared. They were still there, just beneath the surface, lurking in the quiet corners of his mind.

But there was something different now.

There was a sense of possibility

A sense that maybe—just maybe—he could find a way to live for himself.

When he walked onto campus for his first day of college, the unfamiliar surroundings felt almost surreal. The towering buildings, the busy students rushing between classes, the chatter that filled the air—it all felt so distant, like a world he didn't belong to.

He kept his head down, as he always did, walking through the crowds with the same sense of detachment that had become second nature to him.

But in the midst of the chaos, something caught his attention: the faces around him, the people who didn't look like they were burdened by the weight of their lives, who seemed carefree and full of hope.

It struck him then, in that quiet, almost fleeting moment, how different their lives must have been from his.

For so long, he had lived in a bubble of responsibility—schoolwork, helping his parents, doing what was necessary for survival. He hadn't had time to think about anything else.

But now, in the midst of this new environment, he couldn't ignore the difference. He wasn't angry or resentful, just... aware. It was the awareness of a life that was not his own, of a world he had never been a part of, but one he couldn't help but notice.

In the first few weeks of college, Ainz stayed mostly to himself. He went to class, sat in the back row, kept his head down.

He didn't want to get too involved. He didn't trust himself enough to make connections with anyone. But little by little, something shifted inside him.

It started with small moments: a comment in class, a laugh shared with a fellow student, a friendly "hello" in passing. They weren't monumental moments, but they were enough to spark something in him—a small flicker of warmth in a heart that had been closed off for so long.

One afternoon, Ainz was sitting in the campus café, flipping through his textbook absentmindedly. He was always trying to stay ahead of the workload, to keep busy, to avoid confronting the stillness that threatened to overwhelm him when he stopped. But today was different.

His eyes wandered from the pages of his textbook to the faces around him—his classmates, chatting and laughing, enjoying their time together.

They seemed so effortlessly happy, so free, and for the first time in a long while, Ainz felt a twinge of longing. A longing for something he hadn't allowed himself to want.

His thoughts were interrupted when Liam, his classmate, slid into the seat across from him.

Ainz looked up in surprise, but Liam's easy grin made the moment feel comfortable, even welcoming.

"Hey, Ainz," Liam said, his voice casual, but there was an undertone of something else—concern? Curiosity? Ainz wasn't sure.

"How's it going? I haven't seen you much lately."

Ainz hesitated for a moment before shrugging. "Same as always. Busy with classes. You know how it is."

Liam raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "You're not fooling me, man. You're different. I can tell."

Ainz stiffened slightly.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Liam—he did—but it was still hard to hear. He had spent so many years perfecting the art of blending into the background, of being invisible to the world around him, that the idea of someone seeing through the facade was jarring.

"What do you mean?" Ainz asked, his voice guarded.

Liam leaned back in his chair, studying Ainz with an intensity that made him feel a little uncomfortable. "You've changed, Ainz. You're more... alive. More engaged. I've seen you laughing, talking to people. It's not like the guy I met back in high school. You're opening up."

Ainz didn't know how to respond to that. His first instinct was to brush it off, to pretend it wasn't true. But somewhere deep down, he knew Liam was right.

He had changed. And in some strange way, he was starting to like the change.

"Maybe I'm just getting used to it," Ainz said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Maybe I'm learning to... live a little."

Liam smiled at him, his eyes lighting up with approval. "Whatever you're doing, keep it up, man. You deserve it."

Ainz blinked, taken aback by the sincerity in Liam's voice. For the first time in a long while, he felt seen. Not as the person he had to be for others, not as the one carrying the weight of responsibility, but as the person he was becoming.

He wasn't sure what that person was yet, but he was starting to figure it out. Slowly.

In the following weeks, Ainz continued to open up—little by little. He had always been an introvert, and his desire to stay isolated didn't just vanish overnight. But something had shifted.

For the first time in years, he allowed himself to enjoy the simple pleasures of life: a good conversation, a funny video, the comfort of a friend's presence.

He realized he didn't have to carry everything alone. There were people who cared, people who wanted to be there for him. And that, in itself, was a revelation.

One day, after class, Ainz was walking across campus when he was stopped by a classmate named Tessa.

She had always been friendly with him, but they had never really talked outside of class. Today, though, there was something different in her smile, something more genuine than usual.

"Hey, Ainz," she said, her voice warm and inviting. "I was wondering if you wanted to join me and a few friends for lunch. We're heading to that new place downtown. It's kind of a group thing, but it'd be nice to have you join us."

Ainz was taken aback. He hadn't expected this. Part of him wanted to decline, to retreat into the comfort of his own solitude. But another part of him, a part he hadn't listened to in a long time, pushed him to say yes.

"Sure," Ainz said, surprising himself. "I'd like that."

Tessa's eyes brightened, and she smiled at him in a way that made Ainz feel warm. "Great! We'll meet in twenty minutes. I'll save you a seat."

As Ainz made his way to the restaurant with Tessa, he couldn't help but feel a sense of anticipation, a sense that maybe he wasn't as invisible as he thought. Maybe, just maybe, there was more to life than carrying the weight of his family's struggles and his own self-doubt.

That evening, as he sat at the dinner table with his parents, Ainz found himself smiling more than usual.

It wasn't a forced smile, but a genuine one. For the first time in a long while, he wasn't just going through the motions.

He was present.

His mother noticed the change immediately. "Ainz, you're smiling so much these days," she remarked, her voice filled with quiet pride. "It's been so nice to see you so happy."

Ainz hesitated for a moment, then looked at her.

There was so much he wanted to say, so much he didn't understand yet. But for once, he didn't feel the need to explain everything.

He was still figuring it out. But he wasn't as lost as he had been before. He had a long way to go, but the road ahead didn't seem quite so impossible anymore.

"I guess I'm just learning to enjoy life a little more," Ainz said, his voice soft but steady.

His mother smiled, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. "That makes me so happy, Ainz. You deserve to enjoy your life. Don't forget that."

That night, as he lay in bed, Ainz thought about everything that had changed in such a short amount of time.

He still had the same burdens, the same responsibilities, the same questions about the future. But for the first time, he didn't feel completely consumed by them.

He had begun to see that there was room for more in his life—room for joy, for connection, for himself.

He didn't know where this path would take him, but he was no longer afraid of walking it. He wasn't sure what the future held, but for the first time in years, he allowed himself to hope.

The next day, as he walked through campus, Ainz looked up at the sky. It was a clear, crisp morning, and the air smelled fresh. For a fleeting moment, he felt like he was on the edge of something new—something better.

And for the first time in his life, he was ready to take the first step.