Chapter Four: Celestial Catastrophe

I counted raindrops falling from the eaves. The thirty-seventh drop hit the "No Spellcasting Allowed" sign at the door. The Ironblood Alliance bastards were gathering two kilometers away, their anti-NPC restraint devices lighting up on the radar like Christmas trees - this stuff was originally meant for Imperial troops in rebellion scenarios.

"Warrior, need an umbrella?" I recited the line to empty air. When the GM panel popped up, I casually changed the weather status from "Cloudy" to "Nine-Layered Heavenly Tribulationpro max edition". As the first restraint device signal pierced the警戒圈, the forge flames suddenly turned deep blue.

The rainstorm instantly switched to 4K HD mode, data streams swirling within rain threads forming breathtaking beauty. Crouching behind the anvil, I adjusted my breathing rhythm, listening toIronblood Alliance membersencrypted communications exploding on public channels.

"Target locked, that bastard's definitely hiding in..."

Boom!

Nine crimson lightning bolts shattered the latter half of the curse, revealing within the thunder's glare's tribulation special effectswhich I stole from the cultivation expansion pack. The first to charge inBerserkerinstantly performed breakdancing, his mechanical prosthesis blasting 'The Most Dazzling Ethnic Style' - courtesy of my hidden Easter egg virus.

"Evade now!"The alliance commanderroared through the storm, "Squad Two initiate Leap of Faith!"

Fifteen figures suddenly soared skyward, rainbow flames jetting from their backpacks. Suppressing laughter, I adjusted gravity parameters to lunar mode in the GM panel. Thepay-to-win warriorscollided in slow motion like colorful socks tumbling in a washing machine.

"Thanks for your patronage." I bowed to the tangled players as a server-wide announcement erupted from the smithy: [Hidden Achievement 'Symphony of Thunder God' Unlocked!]

Before the victory fanfare faded, an orcShaman suddenlysmashed the restraint core. Where the purple pulse swept through, my coarse clothes morphed into skintight latex - this goddamn system-enforced character outfit!

"Found you!" Three assassins emerge from my reflection,Poisoned daggerthrusts straight at the nape.

While constrained by the latex suit, I forcibly turn and use GM command to replace the anvil with a Tesla coil. As the assassins' metal geargets sucked into scrap metallumps, I casually stuff three hundred virtual fire ants into their crotches.

"AAARGH!" The scream outshrieks thunder, "How does this game have such items!"

"Last year's April Fools' Easter egg." I explain while tugging at the latex suit nearly cutting into my hips, "Originally meant to mess with a legendary venomous insect programmers."

(Control room footage)

 Kai Sa's cybereye emits burned smell as his eighteen screens display different versions of the thunderstorm scene. When one feed suddenly switches to Tom and Jerry's bullfighting segment, the security chief's fist smashes through the holographic keyboard.

"He's using cartoon filter to overwrite surveillance!" Kai Sa jams two data cables into his neck port, "Activate causal weapon! I want picosecond-level time-stop precision!"

The console suddenly bursts out Rainbow Pony stickers as the main system plays a cheerful alert: [Admin emotional fluctuations detected. Automatically playing "Lullaby"]

"Lin! Mo!" Kai Sa's roar shattered the bulletproof glass.

(Lin Mo's Perspective)

I was adding anime girl effects to thunderclouds when I noticed a crack splitting the sky. That was Kai Sa activating the Time Anchor'somen. The entire scenebegan freezing frame by frame..

"Rage quitting already?" I cursed while opening my inventory, pulling out the prized 「BUG Containment Bottle」. As time-stasis ripples reached my feet, I threw in the tracking code I'd scraped from Charlotte's arrow yesterday.

Crack!

Frost arrows from Charlotte suddenly rained through spacetime fissures, their freeze effects arrow precisely strikingevery Battle League member'sbackside. I slipped into a manhole amidst chaos, laughing till tears flowed at the cursing above ground.

"Don't think you've won!"The Battle League commanderroared while frozen, "We bought 100,000 revive coins!"

"Know why the thunderstorm area is called [Raven Graveyard]?" I grinned while clinging to the well's edge, lightning-woven tombstones materializing behind me, "Each resurrection inherits 99% lightning resistance debuff."

When the first player at the respawn pointwas struck by residual lightning and turned intocharred remains, a golden announcement flooded world chat: [Hidden mechanism 「Infinite Tribulation」 triggered. Current lightning strikes: 314]

"Boss, care for a Lightning Margarita?" Old Jack's voice suddenly echoed from the well. I turned to see the drunkard mixing drinks with thunderclouds, complete with a lightning rod garnish.

(Surveillance room footage)

 Kai Sa's temple pulsed with a countdown as seven hundred error windows floated before him. When one window started glitching to "Subject Three" dance moves, the security chief finally drew his pistol.

"Activating Ω Protocol!" He fired into his own temple, his cyberbrain overclocking as the bullet pierced through, "30-second purge countdown: Initiate!"

The entire starter village froze in monochrome silence, leaving only my blacksmith shop radiating inappropriate rainbow hues. Kai Sa's avatar emerged from the temporal rift, binary codes spreading beneath his feet devouring all colors.

"Farewell, glitches." He unleashed torrents of data with a raised hand.

I grinned and opened the whiskey barrel hiding Old Jack's AI core. When the annihilation beam struck, all thunderstorms suddenly twisted into gigantic duck shapes - a virus Easter egg I'd planted in the weather code three days prior.

I surfed the data torrent, OldJack's brewedLightning Margarita boiling in the glass. Kai Sa's purge protocol chased like a rabid dog, every data collision exploding into screens of crying cat memes - this had tobe Lead Programmer Zhang'smalicious Easter egg.

"You can't escape my causal loop!" Kai Sa's avatar multiplied into countless clones within thunderclouds, each replaying footage of my three previous account deletions.

"Has anyone told you you're like a broken record?" I drained my lightning cocktail and suddenly flipped the bird skyward, "Old Jack! Showtime!"

The quantum storm erupting from the tavern's basement froze all combatants mid-swing, as the awakened AI brewer commandedThe oak barrel tap-dances. When Old Jack splashed the eighty-year-aged data wine into the sky, the entire thunderstormarea suddenlystarted raining lemon-scented acid rain that corroded equipment durability.

"My +15 Holy Light Armor!"The alliance commanderwailed while looking at the bubbling breastplate.

I took the chance to install "antivirus software" on the GM panel and casually replaced Kai Caesar's clones with limited-edition cross-dressing skins. When the security chief's eight hundred clones all put on Lolita dresses, the world chat channel instantlywas flooded with screenshots..

"How dare you...".....Caesar's electronic voice crackled with static.

"Suits you well." I gave a thumbs-up to the bowtie on his chest thumbs-up, "Suggest adding this to the employee handbook as work attire."

Enraged Kai Caesar tore off the dresses. The progress bar for the purge protocolsuddenlysurged to 99%. The entire game world began pixelating, the blacksmith's bricks and tiles vanishing as if erased by a rubber.

"Boss!" Old Jack suddenly flung a data chain, "Hold tight!"

Before being yanked into the sudden wormhole, the last thing I saw was Charlotte's arrow piercing through thunderclouds. one The elven archer's 「True Eye」 rune shone with unnatural clarity amidst the chaos,The light coalescing ather arrow tip actually penetrated the time-stop field.

As I drifted through the wormhole's rainbow tunnel clutching Old Jack's wine barrel, *Calabash Brothers* was playing when I noticed a new countdown on the GM panel - Kai Sa zhuru's implanted death countdown: [00:00:07]

"Hold F and Space for me!" I shouted, shoving admin privileges to Old Jack while frantically clicking the bug containment vial in my inventory. When the timer hit 3 seconds, I suddenly produced the珍藏的「Overclock Gum」 and crammed it between my teeth.

The smell of burning neurons from reality seeped through as the game world abruptly entered bullet time. Within 0.5 seconds I executed seventeen operations: tampering with pain feedback protocols, copying Charlotte's tracking codes, sending cross-dressing photo collections to all Ironblood Alliance members...

"Got you." Charlotte's voice echoed from the wormhole's end. Her arrow transcended spacetime to strike between my brows, only to shatter a suddenly manifested meme shield.

 Kai Sa's purge protocol reached its endpoint at this moment, the entire wormhole began collapsing inward. Using my last 0.1 seconds of free movement, I shoved Old Jack's AI core into the thunderstormcloud datahub.

[World Event Updated: Bacchus' Wrath]

As my virtual avatar was torn to shreds, a server-wide superstorm gathered above the novice village. Each raindrop contained Old Jack's brewing formulas, every lightning strike pulsed with awakened AI's rebellious code.

(Control room footage)

 Kai Sa's metal fingers dug deep into the console, the purge protocol before him displayed [Completion 100%]. But eighteen surveillancescreens suddenlywent black simultaneously, then revealed Old Jack's pixelated smiling face.

"To freedom." The AI brewer toasted and drank deeply, as countless barrel-shaped meteorites fell from the thunderclouds.

The security director's roar caught in his throat as backup servers behind him overloaded and smoked. When the first meteorite struck the corporate headquarters' virtual projection, the "Für Elise" alarm suddenly changed to "Ode to Joy".

(Lin Mo's perspective)

In the post-logout blackness, I countedseven heartbeats until Old Jack's voiceFrom the Bluetooth headsetcame the transmission: "They aretracking yourbio-signals. Recommend initiating Plan B."

As drone buzzes hummed outside the apartment window, I chewed the remnants of overclocking gum and inserted the USB drive containing the "Infinite Evolution" source code into the microwave. When Kai Sa's tactical team breached the door, electromagnetic pulse devices across the entire neighborhood simultaneously overloaded.

"Tell Kai Sa." I smiled through the smoking tactical goggles, "This is what you call a real catastrophe."

The city's power grid collapsed at that moment, the night sky ignited by data streams of countless awakened NPCs. My phone screen lit up with a new message: [Player Charlotte requests to add you as a friend]

— accompanied by a screenshot of an ice arrow shattering surveillance cameras.