Chap 5. Morning

Bright sun and traffic noise. Morning had come.

Lying on her back almost the entire night, only taking naps when Elena shifted positions on the bed, Tsuki spent the whole night thinking about what that night meant. She woke up startled after falling asleep; the thought of morning coming and the awkward talk they'd have kept Tsuki up and alert most of the night.

'How am I gonna face her? Maybe she won't remember what she said… What was I thinking, sleeping with this girl?!'

During the long night hours, Tsuki made up her mind that the best way to avoid facing Elena's feelings in the morning was to leave before she woke up. The girl was so beautiful and sweet, and that made it impossible for Tsuki to tell her the ugly truth. But something was holding her back.

'I won't go anywhere.' The sentence popped up in her mind. It was a heat-of-the-moment thing. Tsuki wasn't good at dealing with feelings. The first thing that came to her mind was Elena's sad eyes from when they met, and there was nothing else she could've done. Those broken eyes—Tsuki didn't want to see that again. No way she would've known how to deal with that, knowing it was her fault if she rejected Elena.

"You kept watch all night?" A groggy voice pulled Tsuki back to the real world.

With her hand over Tsuki's waist, Elena was looking up at her with puppy-like caramel eyes that drew Tsuki's dark, slightly Asian eyes downward.

"Maybe."

Elena could swear she saw a kind, almost transparent smile in Tsuki's dark eyes. Her expressions were simple but soft around the edges. A great deal of attention was needed to perceive them, like a whiff of summer wind on a hot day—not too intense, but when felt, a great joy.

"I'm gonna fix us some breakfast."

With that line, she left the bed naked, heading to the bathroom without a care in the world, not minding Tsuki's eyes on her. She liked it; that's why she did it.

By the time Elena was back from her bath, Tsuki was in the kitchen, serving coffee in two mugs. A red one with a funny phrase on it that she found by the sink and a black one she scouted in the cabinet.

Leaning casually on the balcony, watching the sun trespass through the window and fill the room with a Sunday laziness, Tsuki tried to remember how many times in the past years she had spontaneously woken up this early. Mornings like that were an atypical event for her.

During the first sip of the steaming hot coffee, Tsuki forgot where she was. Such an environment had a comforting magic that enchanted her, leading her to a thought:

'I kissed her here.'

But before she could trace the origin of the foreign feeling, Elena entered the room while drying her long hair with a towel.

"Oh, you're fast, aren't you!" Her silk lips opened in a loud laugh, resonating inside Tsuki and setting her heart on a rampage of excitement.

"Morning," said the rebel with messy hair, handing Elena the red mug.

"Good morning, Tsuki." She placed the wet towel on her shoulders and stepped forward to take the coffee. It smelled fresh.

"I'll be leaving now. Have some stuff to do at the club."

"I thought you'd like to take a shower…" The disappointment in Elena's voice was as clear as the sun.

"Thank you, but I really gotta go."

Not a huge fan of bright lights, Tsuki struggled to look at Elena directly. An irrational fear of being caught lying to her made Tsuki avoid looking into those abyss-like eyes that attracted whoever fell into their void of truthfulness.

Without a second thought, she left the house, not looking back. A desperate feeling was eating Tsuki from the inside. Her stomach hurt, and a hole took its place. It was so deep she felt the wind blowing inside it, shivering her skin from her ears to her arms and back to the hole. It was a hot day, the sun was out, yet Tsuki felt cold.

'Where's my…'

"Your jacket."

Elena was at the top of the stairs, holding a black leather jacket with one eyebrow raised at Tsuki, who was frozen halfway down the stairs.

As she turned back, every step released a trembling chill through her body.

She couldn't escape those eyes. Even when she tried to get away, they still got her. "Shit!" The reason for such nervousness remained unknown. Tsuki was quick and heartless while leaving a girl's house after a night of sex; it was no different this time. So why was she sweating when her hand grabbed the jacket?

"Hm…" Tsuki began awkwardly, "Thursdays are very slow at the club. You should drop by." While looking into her eyes, all the things they did the night before came to mind vividly, and Elena seemed to have seen that in her face.

"I will." She kissed Tsuki on the cheek and closed the door.

The way back home was quiet. Not a glimpse of brain activity. It was just her body moving as a reflex because her mind refused to work. She needed to relax, clear her head, and not think about anything. Tsuki tended to overthink and get stressed over small situations, so she just ignored her surroundings and kept walking like a zombie.

As she arrived, her legs just stopped when she was naked in the shower. It was a hot morning, and the 30-minute walk made her sweat, which felt terrible because she hadn't showered since the day before.

In the bathroom, there was an old bathtub she never used because the concept of soaking in your own dirty water was too disgusting for her. Showers, on the other hand, were reinvigorating. The clean, fresh water sliding down her body, opening clean roads on her skin, and washing all the stress away with every drop. That was the best way Tsuki found to relax, and the second best was sleeping.

Heavily, she dropped herself on the king-size bed. Sheets all scrambled and one pillow—she grabbed it, half-naked, to feel the cold touch of the sheets on her skin. After a few minutes appreciating the good sensation of purification, she fell asleep, exhausted.

A knock on the door.