11. Hopeless

Near the old bridge at 6:55 PM, the surroundings were eerily quiet, like the stillness of a grave. The only sounds were the faint rustle of leaves stirred by a cold breeze and the distant hum of insects hidden in the shadows.

This place was abandoned and forsaken by the people. That's why Zara used to meet her friend here secretly. The bridge is broken from the middle, connecting to places over a dry canal. 

After the attack, Finn never brought up her personal life again. Their conversation ended abruptly and unfinished but it didn't matter much to him anyway. His attention had shifted as if flicking away a trivial detail he no longer cared to entertain. 

Meanwhile, time felt unbearably slow for Zara. Each second felt like a heavy chain was wrapped around her silky neck and she was being crushed under the chain's grip. She couldn't stand still, pacing in tight circles before stopping suddenly to peer into the distance. Her eyes narrowed against the dimming light, searching desperately for any sign of movement—a shadow, a silhouette, anything that might indicate her friend was close by.

But there was nothing. Just empty space stretching endlessly before her, mocking her with its silence. Every rustle of leaves in the wind sent a jolt through her nerves, only to leave her disappointed when it revealed nothing meaningful. Her mind raced ahead, imagining worst-case scenarios: What if something had gone wrong? What if her friend wasn't coming?

Time went, slowly but surely. It was 7:30 PM, and Finn finally spoke for the first time after being attacked;

"I can't wait, anymore."

"Wait a few minutes…" When Zara turned around, she found herself at gunpoint! Finn pointed his gun at Zara. Momentarily she was flabbergasted.

"You Lied," he continued, "nobody is coming."

"That's not true…I" Finn spoke before she could finish;

"Give me a reason, why I shouldn't blow your head off." Finn's serious deep voice echoed in Zara's head, she couldn't believe it was happening to her. Her eyes become wet, without realizing she spoke with all her remaining will,

"Trust me please, she was supposed to come, she always did! I don't know what's going on!"

"Doesn't concern me," Finn replied devoid of any emotion. "Pay me now or die."

"But… I don't have any credits," she said, bending to her knee, her head towards the ground, tears streaming uncontrollably. Everything is crumbling again. A few hours ago she felt safe because of him now she is about to die in his hand. In the last two days, she at least understood by observing him very closely, that he was not someone, who would leave his enemies alive! 

But her mind raced again, she was not his enemy! As if she solved some great puzzle, she barked with hope;

"But, I'm not your enemy." She spoke with strange hope.

"It doesn't matter whether you are my enemy or not," he said, shattering her false hope once again. "I can't remain in one place for too long because of you. And now, you've wasted two days of my time and my money. You lied to me about almost everything."

It was the longest speech she had heard from him so far; she thought internally, forgetting about the situation she was in.

Finn paused for a second, staring directly into Zara's wet, universe-like beautiful eyes, he spoke;

"If you can't give me the money you owe me, then you're worthless to me," he said, his voice dripping with contempt. "You're so useless, you're not even worth killing." He paused, letting the words sink in before adding, "I wouldn't waste a single bullet on someone like you."

It hit her—his words struck harder than anything she'd ever endured. Each syllable landed like a hammer blow, echoing inside her chest until it drowned out every other thought. She had always believed nothing could hurt more than her father abandoning her, than the cold realization that he had tried to kill her. But she was wrong. Finn's words cut deeper than any blade, tearing through years of carefully constructed walls and shredded ground-zero defenses.

Her breaths came faster, shallow, and uneven as if the very act of breathing required too much effort now. Her vision blurred, tears pooling in her eyes despite her desperate attempts to hold them back. They weren't tears of sadness; they were something heavier, darker—a manifestation of pain so raw it threatened to consume her whole. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, nails digging into her palms, but the physical discomfort barely registered compared to the storm raging within her. Every muscle in her body trembled, overwhelmed by the torrent of emotions crashing down all at once.

And yet… Finn was right. Wasn't he?

She was useless. What had she ever accomplished? Despite all her struggles, and all her sacrifices, she hadn't managed to change anything—not her circumstances, not her strength, not her future. Advancement seemed impossible, a distant dream reserved for those with talent, determination, or luck—qualities she clearly lacked. No matter how hard she fought, her fate felt carved in stone, immutable and unforgiving. It was as though the universe itself conspired to remind her of her insignificance.

In that moment, she saw herself for what she believed she truly was: a worthless pile of flesh, undeserving of even the smallest shred of hope. The weight of it pressed down on her shoulders, crushing her spirit until she wondered if she could take another step forward. Then she whispered weakly;

"Kill me."