The Pain in the Truth

— I know this is a bad time… —Greez's voice broke the heavy silence—. But we're about to drop out of hyperspace.

No one reacted.

Cere remained seated in front of the communications console, her face hardened, eyes downcast.

I stood leaning against the doorway, unable to tear my gaze away from her.

From the woman who had just torn me apart inside.

Cal was a few steps behind, near the holographic table, tense but watching us. The kid didn't move either.

He didn't even try to ask me to sit down. He knew I wouldn't.

A faint tremor ran through the ship as we emerged from hyperspace. Through the viewport, the dense, green planet of Kashyyyk came into view, its endless jungles shrouded in thick mist, its dark rivers carving through the surface like scars on the skin of a Mandallian giant.

But I didn't see it.

My mind was still trapped in what Cere had just confessed.

"She didn't betray me… I betrayed her."

The words repeated in my head, over and over, like a relentless echo, like poison slowly seeping into my thoughts.

I didn't understand.

What did she mean, she betrayed her? What was that supposed to mean?

Trilla couldn't have changed that much. Not her.

Had she truly fallen to the dark side? Had she joined the Imperial Inquisitors? The Inquisitors hunted Jedi. They tortured them. They killed them.

My Trilla… a hunter of her own people?

No.

It wasn't possible.

I didn't want to believe it. I couldn't believe it.

Because if I did… if I accepted that possibility… it meant I had lost her all over again.

A crushing weight settled on my chest. And suddenly, a light touch on my shoulder pulled me out of my thoughts.

—Kelrian…

It was Cal's voice.

I blinked a couple of times and looked at him. His expression was serious, but there was something in his eyes… compassion.

—I need your help —he said calmly.

His tone was measured, almost as if he were trying not to provoke me.

My gaze turned cold.

—No.

My answer was sharp.

Cal frowned.

—Look, I know what happened with Trilla hit you hard… —his tone was understanding, too understanding—. It hit me too when I found out. But we have to help. That's what Jedi do. They protect others.

Something inside me snapped. My patience vanished.

—Wake the hell up! —I shouted furiously.

Cal took a step back, startled by my reaction.

—Jedi protect others? —I let out a bitter laugh—. The Jedi don't exist anymore!

My words echoed through the cabin.

—You're just a kid who knows nothing.

Cal clenched his fists, his expression darkening, but he said nothing. I took a step forward, glaring at him.

—I fought in the Clone Wars. I saw what the Jedi Order really was. And it was rotten.

My voice dripped with venom.

—We got ourselves into a war that wasn't ours. We clung to a code that blinded us. We became generals instead of guardians. And when the time came… we fell.

Cal took a slow breath.

—That's not true.

—Isn't it? —My voice turned mocking—. Where is the Jedi Order now, Cal? Where are they?

He didn't answer.

—Dead. —I answered for him—. Turned to ash because we blindly followed the rules of a Council that didn't even see its own end coming. Because we were fools.

Silence settled over the room, thick and suffocating. Then, a low, bitter chuckle filled the space.

I turned my head toward Cere. She was smiling… but there wasn't a trace of joy in her expression. It was a sad, tired smirk.

—You haven't changed at all in five years, have you? —she said wearily.

Our eyes met. Hers were filled with something I couldn't quite name.

—You never liked the Jedi Order.

She didn't say it as an accusation. Just a sad truth. I didn't look away.

—Because it was a failure.

She sighed.

—That's… not what Trilla believed.

Her words cut through me like a dagger.

My lips parted… but I had nothing to say.

Cere held my gaze for a few more seconds before turning to Cal.

—Go with them.

Cal hesitated.

—But—

—Go. —Her tone was firm.

Cal took a few moments to react, but in the end, he nodded. He shot me one last glance before leaving.

When the ship's ramp lowered and Cal disappeared down it, Cere finally stood up. She walked toward me, slowly.

I didn't move.

—You and I need to talk —she said quietly.

I didn't answer.

————

The forest of Kashyyyk stretched around us, its towering trees blocking part of the sky, making everything feel more enclosed, more suffocating. The sound of rushing water from a nearby river mixed with the distant calls of the planet's creatures.

But I couldn't focus on any of it. I followed Cere in silence, not really knowing why.

My mind was still stuck on our last conversation, on the words that had changed everything.

Trilla is alive.

Trilla is an Inquisitor.

I repeated it in my head several times, as if somehow, if I heard it enough, it would start making sense.

But it didn't.

Cere sat on a rock near the water, her back tense, shoulders slumped. She looked tired.

I wasn't any better.

I sat down too, but kept my distance. I didn't want to be near her. Not after what she had said, not after she had kept this secret for so long.

Silence stretched between us.

I didn't push her. Not because I didn't want answers—because I did. But because… I already knew I wouldn't like them.

After several minutes, her voice broke the quiet.

—When the Purge began, Trilla and I were on another planet. It caught us off guard… like everyone else.

I didn't move. I just listened.

—We didn't understand what was happening. We only knew that the clones were killing Jedi.

Her tone was flat, devoid of emotion, like she had told this story so many times that she no longer felt anything about it.

But that wasn't true. If it was, she wouldn't be avoiding my gaze.

—We hid in underground tunnels with a group of younglings.

My brow furrowed.

—They were initiates. Barely trained.

Children.

Jedi younglings, probably the same ones who had once been in the Temple—apprentices without lightsabers, without masters, with nothing but the most basic teachings and the promise of a future that would never come.

I imagined them huddled in the darkness of those tunnels, whispering to each other, asking when the Masters would come to save them.

Waiting for help that never arrived.

Because the Order had fallen.

My jaw clenched.

—We stayed there for days. Trilla and I tried to calm them, but… —She paused—. But we were all afraid.

Of course they were afraid.

Because it didn't matter how many years of training you had, how many battles you had fought… you never expected your own people to turn their weapons against you.

—In the end, I decided that the only way they would survive was if I led the clones away.

My stomach twisted.

I knew where this was going. I didn't want to hear it, but I also didn't want to stop her.

—Trilla begged me not to go.

No.

—But I didn't listen.

I ran a hand over my face, feeling my skin burn.

That was it. The moment where everything went wrong.

—So I left to distract them.

I took a deep breath.

And they found her. Cere didn't need to say it. I already knew.

I just had to wait for the final blow.

————

My poor boy, as if he hasn't suffered enough already (and what is left) *evil laugh*