Chapter 3

After the conversation with Luh Sri, Ayu returned to her room, reflecting on every word her sister had spoken. Her heart grew increasingly restless. Her sister's words echoed in her mind throughout the night. She knew she couldn't avoid this forever. She had to talk to someone … perhaps Daniel. 

The next morning, Ayu woke up earlier than usual. The morning air in the traditional village was still crisp, with a thin mist covering the trees. From a distance, the crowing of roosters signaled the start of a new day. 

Without overthinking, Ayu stepped out of the house and walked toward the Pura Desa, the temple where she often sought solace. She carried a canang sari, a small offering of flowers neatly arranged in a woven palm-leaf tray. She wanted to pray, seeking guidance from her ancestors about the dilemma she was facing. 

When she arrived at the temple courtyard, the atmosphere was still quiet. Only a few elderly women were tidying up the offerings, while a Jero Mangku sat near the shrine, preparing to lead prayers. 

Ayu knelt, placing her canang sari in front of the temple, then pressed her palms together in a prayerful gesture. Closing her eyes, she silently prayed. 

"Ancestors, show me the path You wish for me. If I must go through with this arranged marriage, grant me strength. If I must choose another path, give me courage."

A soft morning breeze rustled the leaves of the banyan tree near the temple. Ayu slowly opened her eyes, but the answer she sought had not yet come. Just as she was about to rise, she heard footsteps approaching from behind. 

"Ayu." 

That voice … a voice she knew all too well. 

She turned around and found Daniel standing there, wearing a slightly wrinkled white shirt and trousers. His eyes looked tired, as if he, too, hadn't slept all night. 

"I need to talk to you," Daniel said, his voice carrying desperation. 

Ayu swallowed hard. She knew this conversation was inevitable. 

"Alright, let's talk," Ayu replied, her voice steadier than the turmoil inside her. 

They walked to the back of the temple, under the shade of a frangipani tree in full bloom. Ayu's heart pounded—this moment would determine where her heart truly belonged. 

Daniel took a deep breath before speaking. "Ayu, I can't pretend anymore. I love you, and I know you love me too. So tell me … are you really going to leave me because of this arranged marriage?" 

Ayu bit her lip, her gaze fixed on the ground. She wanted to say what she had kept in her heart for so long, but the words felt too heavy. 

Daniel stepped closer. "If you're still unsure, if even a part of you wants to fight this… please, give me a chance. We can find another way together." 

Ayu lifted her face, her eyes meeting Daniel's, filled with hope. This was the moment to make a decision. But … was she brave enough? 

She took a deep breath. She couldn't answer now. Too much was at stake—her family, the traditions she had upheld all her life, and her own emotions, which were still clouded by doubt. 

"Daniel, I need time to answer," she whispered. 

Daniel's gaze was unreadable. There was hope, but also a flicker of fear. 

"Time for what, Ayu? To strengthen your heart for the arranged marriage or… to find another way?" 

Ayu lowered her head, clutching her kebaya as the wind played with the fabric. 

"I don't know. I just feel like I need to seek the answer—not from anyone else, but from within myself. From the ancestors." 

Daniel remained silent. He had known Ayu long enough to understand that this was not an excuse to avoid the issue. She was genuinely searching for guidance, seeking an answer deeper than mere human words. 

"I'm going to Pura Tirta Empul for a melukat ritual," Ayu continued. "I want to cleanse my heart and mind, asking for guidance from Ida Sang Hyang Widhi Wasa and my ancestors." 

Daniel remained quiet for a moment before finally nodding. 

"If that's what you need, I'll wait." 

That morning, after returning from the village temple, Ayu set off for Pura Tirta Empul, accompanied by Luh Sri. They wore kamen and yellow sashes, the attire required for the melukat purification ritual. The temple, located in Tampaksiring, was surrounded by lush forests and rolling hills that soothed the soul. 

Upon arriving, Ayu saw the sacred water flowing crystal clear from the spouts in the purification pool. Devotees had already lined up, patiently waiting for their turn to immerse themselves in the holy water believed to cleanse impurities of the soul. 

She followed the ritual solemnly. After praying at the main shrine, she entered the pool, feeling the cool water embrace her skin. One by one, she bowed under the sacred fountains, whispering prayers in her heart. 

"Ancestors, show me the way. If I must uphold tradition, strengthen my heart. If there is another path, grant me the courage to follow it."

The water flowed over her, as if washing away the burdens that had weighed on her chest. Yet, when she opened her eyes, the answer still hadn't come. Only a sense of calm gradually settled within her. 

Luh Sri approached, her voice gentle. "Ayu, have you found your answer?" 

Ayu shook her head. "Not yet … but I feel lighter. I want to climb Pura Lempuyang. Maybe there, I will find certainty." 

Luh Sri offered a small smile. "Alright. If that's what you believe is right, we will go." 

Ayu looked up at the vast blue sky. She still didn't know where her heart would lead her, but she was ready to continue the journey. 

The morning air at the foot of Mount Lempuyang was crisp, with a thin mist hanging among the lush green trees. Birds chirped, welcoming the start of their journey. 

"Ayu, are you sure about this?" Luh Sri asked, watching her sister intently. 

Ayu nodded without hesitation. "I have to do this. I have prayed at many temples, but my heart is still uncertain. I hope that here, in this holiest place, I will find my answer." 

Luh Sri gave a faint smile. "Alright. But this journey won't be easy. We have to climb 1,700 steps—are you ready?" 

Ayu took a deep breath. She knew that climbing to Pura Lempuyang Luhur was not just a physical journey, but a spiritual one as well. Each step symbolized the human struggle toward purity. 

After more than an hour of climbing, they finally reached the Candi Bentar gate, which framed the majestic Mount Agung in the distance. The view was breathtaking—like heaven and earth merging in serene harmony. 

Ayu stood before the gate, feeling the mountain breeze on her face. Many people came here to take photos and admire the scenery with their loved ones, but for Ayu, this was more than just a beautiful place. It was about finding the answer to the turmoil within her. 

" I'm scared," she whispered. "What if the answer isn't what I hoped for?" 

Luh Sri took Ayu's hand, gently squeezing it. 

"Whatever answer you find here, it will be the best one for you, Ayu. You must have the courage to accept it." 

Ayu closed her eyes for a moment, allowing herself to sink into the stillness. She thought of her love for Daniel, her parents' expectations, and the traditions that had bound her since birth. 

*** 

That evening, Ayu sat cross-legged in the family's bale dangin, facing the elders and relatives who had gathered from across the village. The usually warm faces were now filled with stern expressions, reflecting the gravity of this meeting. 

To her right, her parents sat with unreadable expressions. Across from her, her uncle—the head of the family—stared at her with piercing eyes. The atmosphere was heavy, broken only by the faint sounds of gamelan from the village temple. 

"Ayu, is it true that you are still hesitant to accept this arranged marriage?" her uncle's firm voice filled the room. 

Ayu swallowed hard. This was the moment she had dreaded most. 

She took a deep breath. 

Now, she had to speak her truth.

Ayu swallowed hard; this was the situation she feared the most. But she could no longer remain silent before it was too late for her to realize her true desire. 

"Uncle, Father, Mother, and all the respected family members ... I have tried my best to accept this arranged marriage, but my heart is still filled with doubt. Please, grant me more time to find the answer that will truly convince me." 

One of her aunts clicked her tongue in disapproval, while a cousin whispered impatiently. 

"Ayu, you are a Balinese woman. You know that we have lived bound by tradition since we were children. There is nothing for you to doubt about that. The ancestors have already determined your path!" another uncle spoke sharply. 

Ayu bit her lip. "I have gone to Pura Tirta Empul, to Pura Besakih, and to Pura Lempuyang. I have sought guidance from our ancestors because I do not wish to go against our traditions, but I also want to follow my heart." 

This time, her mother spoke up. Her voice was softer but carried undeniable pressure. "Ayu, what more are you looking for? We have chosen a good match for you, from a respectable family. Do not bring shame upon our family, my child." 

Ayu lowered her head once more. She knew that this decision was not only about herself but also about the continuity of her family and the traditions that bound them. 

Then, her grandfather's deep voice broke the tension. "Ayu, have you found your answer?" 

Ayu lifted her gaze, her eyes trembling as they met the wrinkled face of the elderly man before her. "I have not found it yet, Grandpa. But what I do know is that I do not want to marry without my heart being in it." 

The tension in the room remained heavy. Every gaze was fixed on Ayu, as if waiting for her to surrender to the family's decision. But before anyone could speak again, a gentle yet firm voice cut through the silence. 

"Enough." 

All heads turned. 

Luh Sri, Ayu's older sister, who had remained silent until now, finally spoke. She sat upright, her hands resting on her lap, her sharp eyes fixed on the elders. 

"Ayu has the right to make her own choice. This is her life. Since when have we forgotten that a wedding ceremony is not just about tradition, but also about the heart?" 

Uncle Made, who had been the most adamant so far, furrowed his brows at Luh Sri's statement. "Luh Sri, you know very well our position within the tradition. If Ayu refuses this arranged marriage, our family will be seen as dishonoring our customs." 

Luh Sri took a deep breath, then looked at Ayu with warmth before turning back to the family. "Then what is the meaning of our spiritual journey if we refuse to listen to our hearts and the signs from our ancestors?"