Chapter 16: The Heavens Make Their Move

Shen Mu was on the verge of collapse.

The sky itself was speaking his name.

The Heavenly Dao—the fundamental laws governing reality—had just acknowledged him.

All around him, celestial attendants knelt in awe.

Empress Yue remained standing, but her silver eyes were filled with rare shock.

"…This is unprecedented," she murmured.

Shen Mu, meanwhile, was experiencing a full-blown existential crisis.

'WHY?! I'M JUST A CARPENTER!'

Then, the booming voice from the sky echoed again.

"SHEN MU. THE DAO HAS TAKEN NOTICE OF YOUR EXISTENCE."

"A DECISION MUST BE MADE."

Shen Mu's stomach dropped. 'Decision?! What decision?!'

Then, the voice spoke again—

"WILL YOU ASCEND?"

Silence.

The celestial beings gasped.

Shen Mu's blood ran cold.

Ascend?!

To where?!

Before he could even process this, an invisible pressure descended upon him.

It was gentle—not crushing like the pressure of an angry cultivator—but absolute.

He felt as if the very fabric of the universe was waiting for his answer.

The Celestial Elders, standing around the chamber, looked shaken.

One of them whispered, "The Dao itself… is offering him direct ascension…?"

Another trembled. "This has never happened before…"

Empress Yue's gaze sharpened. Even she didn't expect this.

Then, softly, she asked, "Shen Mu… do you understand what this means?"

Shen Mu did not understand.

At all.

His brain was shutting down.

"Uh…" he croaked.

A celestial scholar stepped forward, bowing. "Master Shen Mu, if you accept… you will become one with the Dao itself."

Shen Mu's entire body tensed.

"…One with the Dao?"

The scholar nodded.

"Your existence will transcend mortality. You will become a being beyond time and space… an entity that shapes reality itself."

Shen Mu's soul left his body.

'They're asking if I want to become a literal god?!'

NOPE. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

He wasn't ready for that! He wasn't even ready to be a sect master!

He just wanted to fix furniture in peace!

Shen Mu desperately tried to think of a way out of this.

If he said yes, he'd become something completely inhuman.

If he said no, they'd probably just assume he was being humble and push him to accept anyway.

So instead, he did what he did best.

He bullshitted his way out.

---

The Grandmaster's Evasion Technique: Divine Edition

Shen Mu took a deep breath and made his expression calm and unreadable.

Then, in the most solemn voice he could manage, he said—

"…The Dao is patient. The Dao does not rush."

The room fell silent.

A celestial general stiffened. "I-Is he… refusing ascension?"

A divine scholar trembled. "No… he is delaying it!"

Another elder whispered, "He wishes to remain in the mortal realm for now… to guide us further."

Shen Mu internally screamed.

'THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT—!'

The voice from the sky rumbled again.

"…VERY WELL."

The celestial beings exhaled.

The pressure around Shen Mu slowly lifted.

The heavens had accepted his answer.

Shen Mu almost collapsed in relief.

'THANK GOD THAT WORKED.'

Empress Yue studied him carefully.

"…You refuse direct ascension," she murmured. "That means you believe there is still more to learn?"

Shen Mu nodded quickly. "Yup. Lots to learn. Endless mysteries. Gotta… uh… figure things out first."

She narrowed her eyes.

Then, slowly…

She smiled.

"I see," she said softly.

Shen Mu did not like that look.

That was the look of a woman who had just decided something dangerous.

Then, before he could react, she turned to the celestial scholars and elders.

"Prepare a Grand Pavilion," she ordered. "If Master Shen Mu wishes to remain in the mortal realm to 'learn'… then we shall aid him."

Shen Mu's stomach dropped.

"Wait. Hold on—"

She continued, "We will send our greatest scholars to accompany him."

"Wha—"

"The Dao itself has recognized him. He will need a proper entourage."

"NO—"

"And from now on…"

She looked at him directly.

"You will be our honored celestial guest."

Shen Mu wanted to die.

'THAT'S JUST A FANCY WAY OF SAYING PRISONER!'

Before he could protest, the celestial attendants were already bowing.

"As the Empress commands."

Shen Mu buried his face in his hands.

This was it.

He was never escaping.

---

Meanwhile, Back in the Mortal World…

The sect that had taken over Shen Mu's workshop was now thriving.

Hundreds of wandering cultivators were arriving daily, eager to learn from the Grandmaster.

Bai Ling stood at the front of the sect, reading from one of Shen Mu's "teachings."

She lifted a wooden carving.

"…And this," she said seriously, "is one of Master Shen's sacred artifacts."

The gathered disciples gasped.

One of them trembled. "It's… it's beautiful…!"

Another whispered, "It radiates Dao essence…!"

Elder Zhao nodded wisely. "Meditate upon it, and you will understand."

The carving in question?

It was just a regular wooden spoon.

But the disciples didn't care.

Instead, they sat in perfect formation, staring at it for hours.

By nightfall, one of them suddenly broke through a cultivation barrier.

And just like that—

The Spoon Dao Sect was born.

---

Back in the Celestial Realm…

Shen Mu lay flat on the floor of his guest chamber.

His soul was gone.

His will to live had been shattered.

He was now the "honored celestial guest."

Which meant he was now under constant surveillance.

His words would be analyzed.

His movements would be studied.

And every mistake he made would create another absurd Dao.

He had lost.

There was no escape.

"…I give up," he whispered.

At that moment, there was a soft knock on his door.

Shen Mu groaned. "What now?"

The doors glided open.

A young celestial scholar stepped inside, her gaze bright with curiosity.

She held a scroll filled with questions.

She bowed deeply.

"…Master Shen Mu. I have come to study your wisdom."

Shen Mu stared at her.

Then, very slowly,

He rolled over.

And pretended to be asleep.

---

End of Chapter 16