Road to a Hero: Three chances in another world. Chapter 23: End of the Road

Arc 3: Choosing Reality by Embracing Life

Rosemary: "What!?"

Rosemary stood up, shaking, unable to believe what Gray had just said. Standing in that dark room, lit up by the morning sun pouring into the room from the window beside her, completely quiet. 

Gray: "It's better that way! For everybody! So I don't ruin anymore lives!"

Gray knew just how much his outburst at Arthur had shaken this countries stability. He knew that, in only a month, he had done so much damage to this world. If he were to keep going, who was to say Rosemary, Soku, Edward, or even Ophelia was next? This world was not a tale, a fantasy, a fun time. It was real, and he hated it. However, as he attempted to stand and move forward, Rosemary stopped him. Bowing her head, shaking, but proud and resilient. Ready to fight for the future she wishes to live so much.

Rosemary: "I don't want you to! I want us to be able to stay here together, to keep living like how have been! I want -

She took that breath, and said the words Gray had told himself over and over to deny. Words he knew he couldn't ever belive.

Rosemary: "I want to be with you! Because I like you!"

This statement causes Rosemary to blush, but Gray stares off into space. His hand was sweating, grasping it tight and taking a breath.

Gray: "...And I like you too, I really really live you. But I can't believe that!"

Now he was fully screaming toward her, tears in his eyes, but still Rosemary tried to mend it all.

Rosemary: "When we first met, you looked at me different that anybody else! Not in some weird way, not like you wanted something from me, but also...it wasn't a look that meant you thought nothing of me. Then when we spoke, when we helped each other feel safe in the mansion, we fought for each other and trained together. The time I've spent with you, Soku, Ophelia, and all the people we're coming to meet, it's the first time in my life that anything has felt real."

And even in a world objectively more unbelievable than the one he was used to, he couldn't help but agree. Causing him to hold his aching heart, the chest that felt like it was going to cave in, the head that cried and screamed so so badly. Rushing toward the door while trying to cover his shattering expression.

Gray: "All I've done is mess this up. I just - "

But Rosemary's hand held him back. Her red, plummeting expression causing the heavy weight over his heart to crush it even harder.

Gray: "You're right! All I've done is mess this up. Arthur, he's right, all I've done is hurt you guys."

Rosemary: "What are you talking about? I didn't say anything like that! And Arthur is no where close to right!"

Gray: "The attacks by the cultist! Me losing my temper in the castle, embarrassing you and the others! Making Soku cry, taking Edwards chance at victory in the Knight Exam, ruining Kioshi and Musashi's work! Making all of you look worse by being affiliated with me!"

He tried to jerk away but she held his chest tightly, hugging and holding him, trying her best to stop him from leaving. Unable to let her new life walk away after all she had gone through to get it.

Rosemary: " WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS!? We don't want you to leave! I don't want you to! I just want to help you! We all do! You just have to talk to us so we can help you!"

But her hold only made him realize how much pain he caused everyone no matter what he did.

Gray: "And I'm helping you by leaving! I was never supposed to make it this far! I bit the big one and this sick joke of a world made me get back up! But, but I can't! I tried I really tried but dammit all I'm don't want to try anymore! I just can't make myself anymore! I can't keep lying to myself!"

Rosemary: "Then listen to me, listen to the truth! Please!"

It took an extra bit of confidence even now, but she still said it as he entered the doorway.

Rosemary: "I need you! Because you got my life moving again! I WAS WONDERING FOR SO LONG UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP KICKING MY LIFE INTO MOTION AGAIN! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME FROZEN AGAIN! NOT WITHOUT A UNDENIABLE REASON! JUST SAY YOU DON'T LIKE US! THAT'S ALL -

Gray: "THAT'S A LIE! I LOVE YOU GUYS! I LOVE EVERYTHING HERE! MAGIC, THE PEOPLE, THE JOKES, EVERYDAY HERE HAS BEEN SO MUCH MORE FUN THAN ANYTHING I DID BEFORE I GOT HERE! AND THAT'S WHY I HAVE TO GO, TO STOP RUINING IT ALL!"

Rosemary tries her hardest to try and tell Gray why he shouldn't leave, what he means to her, from the bottom of her heart, even if he hasn't been in her life for that long, his being there has had a great effect. Still Gray would quickly rush down the hall and down the stairs, getting the attention of the few guards and nobles temporarily staying in the inn. Soku, Ophelia, and Edward then came out of their rooms right behind Rosemary. Trying to keep up with Gray and Rosemary, completely confused to what was going on. Rosemary screams her heart out, but Gray acts as if he doesn't care. Gray walks downstairs, getting right to the door when he hears a small, somber voice.

Ophelia: "Where are you going?"

Gray: "I…found a way home."

Just as he went to open the door, he heard the scream of the person he loves the most.

Rosemary: "Wait! Please!"

Edward: "Really? That's awesome!"

Ophelia: "Aw, you're leaving?"

Soku: "Mph…"

Gray: "So…see you guys I guess."

Rosemary: "STOP LYING!"

Overwhelmed by everything, especially by the others, she activated the stages and broke the board under her foot.

Rosemary: "He's trying to go because he feels like he failed us! And he dosen't know how wrong he is!"

Gray: "PLEASE! JUST STOP!"

Gray rushes through the door, exiting the inn, running down the stone road heading toward the castle. He ran the opposite way, away from the castle and toward the wall surrounding the castle. A gateway at the end leading to a small forest before leading toward the South District of the capital. Rosemary runs outside, watching him leave. She stands almost frozen, fighting against it with tears streaming down her face, trying her best to force her feelings away. Soku tugs at her arm, trying to take her attention away.

Soku: "Look if he really wants to go you shouldn't stop him."

Edward walked up to the other side, nodding his head in agreement.

Edward: "He seems to be lost in despair. Forcing him to come out of that hole won't work. We have to hope he can do it himself."

Rosemary: "To hell with that! He shouldn't have to do it himself! That's the entire reason we're here! That mindset is why he's running away!"

Before Ophelia could speak Rosemary dashed forward, catching up with Gray and staring at his still body. Gray stands , with tears streaming down his face, silent.

Rosemary: "Please -

Gray: "Why do want me to stay so damn badly!? When you know nothing about me!"

Trembling, staring at his gripping fists, shedding tears from his bandaged face, he looked back at her.

Rosemary: "I do know about you! I can help you!"

Gray: "YOU CAN'T HELP ME! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME! WHO I AM, WHERE I'M FROM, MY HOBBIES, MY FAVORITE FOOD, NOTHING!"

Rosemary: "I do know you…You like to make others happy…your favorite food is pancakes…I know you're a good person…and I want to know more about you…I want you to know more about me, and all of us…so why? WHY LEAVE!"

Gray pushes through the pain of his wounds and steps up. Rosemary steps away from him but reaches forward to stop him.

Rosemary: "Do this for me! Just stay and let us help!"

Gray: "I'VE...I'VE ALREADY DONE SO MUCH FOR YOU! SAVE YOU FROM JEREMIAH, THE SECT! I'VE BEEN TRYING AND I KEEP GETTING STOPED AT EVERY TURN!"

Rosemary: "SO DON'T DO IT ALONE! EVERYTIME WE WORK TOGETHER WE MAKE IT OUT! SO WE NEED TO KEEP DOING THAT!"

Wiping the tears off his face, he continues to drive the point home, trying to get her to just walk away.

Gray: "Yeah like I said. You Know nothing about me. And I do miss my home, my family. There hasn't been a day I've been here where I haven't thought about them. I'm haunted by them every night. Every single day I have nightmares, them screaming at me, calling me useless, and worthless. A bad son. So I just wanna leave…leave it all behind…this life and the last one."

Rosemary: "Why…?"

Gray: "BECAUSE I'M TIRED! AND SO DAMN ANGRY!"

Rosemary: "OF WHAT!? WHO ARE YOU MAD AT!? ME!? SOKU!?"

Gray: "NO! NO! NO! I'M TIRED OFF...I'M MAD AT!"

His voice choked, as he finally said the source of his endless rage. Where it was all supposed to he going toward.

Gray: "MYSELF DAMMIT!"

Rosemary: "Huh?"

That was something Rosemary could understand all to well.

Gray: "DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO I AM? WHY I'M EVEN HERE? BECAUSE IF YOU DO I'LL SAY IT...I'LL SAY ALL OF IT!"

Rosemary: "THEN DO IT! SPIT IT OUT, AT LEAST GIVE ME AN ANSWER!"

Gray: "It's because, because! Because I gave up, that's why. I wake up every day with this weak, pitiful body, with annoying hair and a bad personality, with nothing to show for my existence. I wasted my first chance at life, sitting in my room doing nothing of importance. Not studying for school, barely talking to friends, and thinking of anything else but my future."

Gray's tone immediately drops, he just rambles on while staring at his feet.

Gray: "I did this all my life and now I'm here, with no goals, no dreams or ambitions, just a lonely meaningless existence with no drive to do anything. All I did was hide behind a mask, a person who wasn't me so I could fit in. It's all I ever wanted to truly do and I didn't do it. I was a loud, goofy, and annoying ass to everyone in my life. I didn't even have a bad life dammit, I had great parents who made good money, and nice grandparents, nice friends, a good school. I had no illness or disability, just bad anxiety making me seem like a loser, or made people see the loser I was."

Rosemary is left in a position where she can't do anything other than listen, however she couldn't just stand around silent, not anymore, not right now.

Rosemary: "STOP THIS! After everything you're saying this!? We all have these bad stories, a past we're not happy about! That's why we came together, to be better! No matter how much you think and say you're a loser I'm, we're here to say otherwise! And when we feel bad you do the same for us!"

Gray: "But I'm nothing like you guys! A rare elf or noble blooded super solider or rouge militia solder or even Demi-human! I have some stolen mana from some evil witch! That's a villain's back story! And for what, to abandon a whole world! A pitiful existence. One I ended, Or at least I tried to. You couldn't understand how happy I was when I saw what had happened to me, thrust into a storybook."

Rosemary: "You don't know how happy I was to talk to somebody who didn't treat me different! You weren't rude, you didn't speak down to me, you didn't act like I had no honor or that I was dirty or anything! No matter who you talk to you always speak the truth! And I know you're saying the same harsh truth now! So think on how to fix it! If running away hurt you so bad before, then don't do it now!"

Gray grasped his fist, flaring out with mana instinctively to feel something, to get his inner turmoil out some how.

Gray: "BUT I TRIED TO DO THAT ALREADY! AFTER I MESSED UP AND GOT SOKU AND OPHELIA'S HOME DESTORYED AND ATTACKED, GOT AL KILLED AND ANOTHER HOUSE DESTORYED, AND NOW THE ELECTION! NO MATTER WHAT I DO I ONLY CAUSE SUFFERING! When I first got here I needed the abilities I didn't do anything for to help me get that fantasy life that any person who has ever been alive has dreamed of once in their life... And what's the first thing I do? I see a girl fighting for her life. And not to save her or be the good person I've been trying to force myself to be my entire life. I help her with the intent of getting something out of her."

Every emotion Gray has been feeling, every thought he's been thinking, forms into these words. His character, Gray Kyojin, is incarnate.

Gray: "Gray Kyojin is supposed to be A good person, a hero even, A nickname I gave myself, a name that grew bigger than myself. The funny, energetic, loud, happy man with so much drive he would never be able to stay down, always work on himself. And nothing, that's what I've been trying to be this WHOLE DAMN TIME! That entire time at the mansion I was that person, forcing my body to its limits every day, being as loud and as goofy as possible. Being the person anyone would like to see. No matter what happens in your life, may it be something small like hurting yourself, or something big like dying a hundred times, nobody likes a crybaby."

Gray bites his lip, so hard he causes it to bleed, tightens his fist, and lets everything out. At the same time Soku and Ophelia resisted going out, Edward stopping them both, trying to cover their ears as he looked backward. Hoping that Gray would talk himself out of it, or come to some sort of understanding. But it would take time for that. First Gray had to fall down to the bottom before he could rise back up.

Rosemary: "THEN LET ME HELP YOU!"

Gray: "NO! I WON'T USE PEOPLE ANY MORE! All I've done is use people. Your guy's nice hospitality at Sokus house, and what do I do? I blew it up trying to "save" people from a bad guy I brought to the house. Then in the mansion, I get the best piece of luck I've ever gotten in my life. The greatest swordsman, and the strongest person in the world, took me to their home. And I get it burnt to the ground, and get A nice old man killed! And then still walk around thinking so highly of myself. Because I won a couple of fights. I would have died if I didn't get helped the whole time and I still think I'm the shit. What a joke, a hopeless lie. "

Rosemary: "THEN GO ASK HER ABOUT IT! SHE FEELS JUST AS IF NOT MORE GUILTY! AND I DO TOO! DON'T YOU THINK I FEEL BAD!? WITH MY EXPIERENCE! HELL I'M A YEAR OLDER THAN YOU! I SHOULDN'T BE RELYING ON SOME ONE, NOT YOU! BUT STILL!"

Gray: "I only won anything because of you guys! Then I think I'm so cool, that I scream at the new leader of the country, acting like I'm better than him. I blew up a poor girl's home, got one of a man's only remaining family members murdered right in front of him, and got his house brunt down on top of that, and I think I'm the good guy. HAHAHAHA! LOOK AT ME!, standing here ranting about my life as it sucks, like all the people I've met haven't had the worst lives imaginable, getting your parents killed right in front of you, being born a child soldier, living on the streets your whole life never knowing your family."

Rosemary's eyes held tightly, wanting to yell at him to stop, for this dream to end. Her life that was building, her strength she felt she was finally gaining, was being swept out right from under her. And she couldn't just let life through her around, if she did, then all of this time growing would have been for nothing. And she would have been the powerless person she started as.

Rosemary: "Please..."

Gray: "I stand here complaining about my life. I am Conner Kyojin. A useless, weak, worthless, piece of trash, lying to himself about everything, trying to make it seem like I'm less of a loser than I already am. That is who I am, a crybaby, a man child…I'm so… worthless…so now I'll leave. Now you guys won't have the target of an evil cult sleeping in the same house as you, So you can finally sleep soundly. I threw my second chance away the second I called myself Gray Kyojin, with no intent to be Gray Kyojin. Strangely enough through that entire conversation, Gray was smiling from start to finish, as if he let an unliftable weight off his shoulders. Gray leaves Rosemary standing in the road, with Soku and the others watching from the window of the inn. Ophelia runs back upstairs crying with Soku running after her. Edward just stares, not knowing how to react."

He piled the overwhelming self hatred atop her, leaving her speechless. Unable to get herself to defy his words anymore, unwilling to fight this losing battle. She couldn't fall with him. And so Gray, crying along with her, forced himself to leave. For what he feels is the greater good, and as punishment for everyone he had done so far. Gray walks to the end of the road, exiting passed the nodding guards and through the gate, allowing him onto the path leading back to the capital city. Since he's a while away he walks into the forest, following a stream, leaving the empty main road, to nothing but trees and sitting down on the ground staring at his reflection in the water.

Gray: "So much for my second chance in another world."

Before Gray can continue, somebody walks up behind him.

Gray: "Oh, it's you."

But his eyes instantly widened, pivoting his foot into the grassy ground to throw himself forward. However he only threw himself into his chest, the powerful figure having moved in an instant. Gray looks at the man, dressed in a dirty, stitched-up black and red tracksuit. He smiles at Gray before the man hits him on the head. Gray collapses to the ground, with the red haired man staring at him.

Arthur: "Oh I'm not done with you yet."