chapter 164: how much it can last

Fuck I can't loose control now right,Elias hated this.

Hated how easily Caidren unraveled him.

Hated that his body betrayed him before his mind could fight back.

He had thought it was just the heat. Just the drug that night. A fleeting mistake, something that could be forgotten once the haze had lifted.

But then the days passed.

And every time he saw Caidren—every time those sharp eyes lingered on him, every time that deep voice brushed against his skin like a promise—his control wavered.

It was humiliating.

Because he wasn't weak. Not anymore.

And yet, here he was, pinned against the cold stone wall, his pulse hammering traitorously beneath Caidren's fingers.

Elias clenched his jaw, forcing himself to focus. "I told you, it was a mistake."

Caidren exhaled slowly, his breath warm against Elias's throat. "Then why are you shaking?"

Elias stilled.

He hadn't realized it. Hadn't noticed the faint tremor in his limbs, the way his body reacted despite everything.

Caidren did.

Of course, he did.

And from the way his grip shifted, his fingers pressing more firmly against Elias's wrist, he was enjoying this. Enjoying the cracks forming in Elias's defense.

Damn him.

Elias forced his gaze up, meeting Caidren's eyes with something sharp, something defiant. "You think you know everything, don't you?"

Caidren tilted his head slightly, considering. Then, with infuriating ease, he murmured, "I know you want me to touch you again."

Elias sucked in a breath, heat rushing to his skin. His fingers twitched at his sides, nails biting into his palms.

No.

He wouldn't give Caidren the satisfaction.

Wouldn't admit that the thought had haunted him—that his own body had betrayed him over and over, burning with a hunger he couldn't explain.

Caidren leaned in further, his lips a breath away from Elias's ear. "You think I don't notice how you look at me? How your pulse races when I get too close?"

Elias clenched his teeth, refusing to move.

But Caidren's next words sent a shiver down his spine.

"You can lie to yourself, Elias. But your body tells me everything."

Elias's breath hitched.

Because it was true.

He could deny it all he wanted, could pretend this was just another game, but his body had never learned how to lie.

And Caidren knew it.

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair that Caidren could do this to him with just a few words, a few touches. Wasn't fair that every time he saw him, he wanted—

No.

Elias straightened, forcing himself to push past the haze of heat clouding his mind. He wasn't going to give in.

He couldn't.

Forcing his voice to steady, he said, "You're mistaken, my Lord."

A deliberate step backward. A controlled breath.

"I feel nothing for you."

Caidren watched him for a long, unreadable moment. Then—slowly, deliberately—he let him go.

The warmth of his touch faded, replaced by the coolness of the air.

Elias swallowed against the tightness in his throat and turned to leave.

But just as he reached the corridor, Caidren spoke.

"You say that, Elias."

His voice was softer now. Dangerous in a different way.

"But let's see how long your lie lasts."

Elias didn't stop walking.

But deep down, he knew—

Caidren was right.

Because every time he saw him, every time he remembered that night—

His control slipped.

And he didn't know how much longer he could keep pretending.