Chapter 2: Whimsss Of The Godsss

The previous night, she'd done what any nervous bride would do. She'd knelt before her little household shrine and prayed for a perfect hair day.

The problem?

She hadn't just prayed to one god. She had prayed to all of them.

"Please, oh mighty gods, grant me beautiful hair tomorrow. Athena, goddess of wisdom, surely you know a trick for smooth curls. Aphrodite, you understand beauty! Hera, you're the queen of the gods! Surely you won't let me look awful on my wedding day. Hecate, maybe a tiny magic boost? Oh, and Apollo, you're so good with aesthetics—"

Althea groaned. How could she have been so monumentally stupid? Gods were generally big on their worshippers being loyal. 

She had listed every god she could think of, hedging her bets, not realizing that all of them might actually listen.

And, apparently, all of them had granted her wish at the same time.

Which was how she ended up with a head full of sentient snakes.

"So how do we get to Mount Olympus? Do you even know where it is?" she asked he snakes. 

Several snakes hissed at once.

"Only one of you speak! Pick a representative!"

Althea's scalp prickled as the snakes huddled up on top of her head followed by another series of furious hisses and one snake from her head uncoiled and presented its face in front of her. 

"My name is Sssimon," it said.

"Hi Simon-"

"Not Simon. Sssimon,"

Althea looked at the snake face in front of her with its sharp fangs and decided not to roll her eyes. She nodded. 

"Sssimon, how do we get to Mount Olympus?"

"We can take the underground metro through Daedelussss's labyrinth."

"Daedelus's labyrinth? The maze that connects the whole world and changes its paths without any rhyme or reason? The one that was built to contain a minotaur? That Daedelus's labyrinth?

The snake beamed.

"Yessss," it hissed. "That Daedelusss's labyrinth is the one I speak of."

"How can it possibly have a metro if the paths keep changing?" Althea asked.

"No one understandsss. It isss sentient and it knowsss who will travel on any day. There iss a new timetable everyday. We musst hurry. Asssk your questionsss later."

Sssimon guided her to the Labyrinth metro station. 

She looked at the timetable taped on the pillar and gaped. The timetable had every mythical and legendary place she had ever heard of. Even Atlantis was on this list. 

Sssimon had to bump her head twice to make her tear her eyes away from the timetable and move. She managed to get onto the right train that would take her directly to Olympus. Most of the people jn her coach just wanted to complain about Zeus's shenanigans. 

It was a smooth ride and Althea couldn't help but gawk at the view. 

"Ssstop embarasssing us by sssstaring like a firssst-timer!"

"But I am one!" she said.

When they emerged from the subway, Althea gasped. They were in a city.

Mount Olympus wasn't an actual mountain. It was a group of skyscrapers of varying heights that formed the shape of Mount Olympus. The security guard at the reception asked her to fill the register with her personal details and reason for visit. He made no comment but gestured at the elevator telling her that she had to go to the top floor.

The grand hall was in the penthouse suite. The doors opened before Althea could knock. For a moment she froze. The dimensions of the great hall were expanding and contracting before her very eyes, making her head spin. The gods were staring at her and under their gaze she staggered. How dare she come here to complain. She was lucky to be alive. She was insignificant as an ant. 

She felt a sharp fanged bite in her arm and came back to her senses, suddenly very irritated. "Thanks," she muttered. "sss no problem," Sssimon whispered. Then she spoke out loud.

"Stop it! I get the message. You are the mighty gods and how dare an insignificant mortal barge into the hall of the gods!"

"Bravo! That was well summed up!" boomed Apollo as he slow-clapped.

"Heph, I thought that door opened only for very important guests! Why did it open for this puny mortal? Is it malfunctioning?" asked Poseidon.

"Things I make don't malfunction!" growled Hephaestus.

"The door is just like you, dear. Broken," said Aphrodite.

"SILENCE," Zeus thundered.

"Child,why are you here?"

"I'm here to COMPLAIN! Today is my wedding day and you've all RUINED it! I had a simple wish. I wanted a good hair day for my wedding. And this is what happened!" said Althea, holding up a fistful of hissing snakes.

"It wasn't me this time!" said Athena looking around at her family. "Who granted the wish?"

"Well, I did. I'm the goddess of marriage, after all."

"So did I. It's a simple spell!"

And so did I!"

Most of the gods admitted to have granted the wish.

"Hecate, what do you think?" asked Zeus.

"It's possible that our divine magic clashed with each other and came up with this horrible result," said Hecate looking distracted. 

"Sssstop insulting usss. We are very fine ssspecimens," said Sssimon, sounding hurt.

"Well, undo it! Take back your magic!" sad Althea impatiently.

"This cannot be undone! Think of it like clay. Each god has a different color of clay. It got mixed up and now it's impossible to separate it into individual colors," said Hecate, the goddess of magic.

Althea had the feeling that Hecate had other things on her mind. She knew more than she was letting on and wasn't willing to share. 

"You're gods! You can do anything!"

"Child, go back. There's nothing to be done now. We're busy!"

Hermès, ever the peacemaker, raised his hands.

"Lord Zeus, if I may, this is terrible PR. We can't have mortals thinking that praying to us results in accidental curses. We need to fix this—fast. If they stop believing in our goodness, we'll go extinct. We don't want this incident to snowball."

"Well, how about a contest? Let's make a grand hairpiece for Althea with a special power, to make up for her trouble."

"And who will be the judge? We need someone impartial."

"Well, Althea can be the judge!"

"And what's the prize?"

"The winner can be the king of gods for a day," suggested Athena. 

"I don't think so. Nice try, daughter," said Zeus.

The snakes hissed at Althea as the gods debated the prize.

"Althea don't agree to thissss. They are being polite now but you can't offend ANY of the godsss. Choosing just one winner will certainly do that!" said Sssimon.

Yeah, that'ssss how the Trojan war started. Mortalss should not get embroiled in godly matterss," said Sssam, another of her snakes.

"How am I supposed to turn them down? They're gods!" Althea whispered.

"What say you, Althea? Will you be the judge?"

"Zeus, the last time you made that mortal Paris a judge, we had a large-scale war that affected both mortals and gods," exclaimed Hera. "Mortals can't be trusted!"

"All she has to do is choose! It's going to be fine!"

"Umm, do I get a say in this?" asked Althea. "I just want my normal hair back."

"No!" said the gods and the goddesses in unison.