Chapter 8 — Becoming Someone I’m Not

Bai Henan opened the food delivery app and quickly searched for Ji Yun Tong's favorite dishes. Having memorized her preferences long ago, he made his selection swiftly, placing the order in just a couple of minutes. After setting his phone down, he absentmindedly flipped it over and rolled up his sleeve to reveal the bracelet on his wrist.

It was the first gift he had received from Ji Yun Tong, so he cherished it deeply. The charms on the bracelet remained intact, with only the cotton thread being replaced regularly to prevent it from wearing out and breaking. He gently stroked the bracelet, as if through it, he could touch Ji Yun Tong. To him, the bracelet was like a talisman—whenever he faced important moments like exams or negotiations, he would gaze at it, silently praying and feeling Ji Yun Tong's silent encouragement.

He closed his eyes slowly and took a deep breath, calming his mind. When he opened his eyes again, his gaze was clear and focused. He pulled down his sleeve, gathered his thoughts, and continued to finish his meal before returning to his work.

Meanwhile

Ji Yun Tong discussed the production direction with a client, and by the time she returned to the break room, it was already two in the afternoon. Her lunch had been quietly placed on the table, waiting for her to unpack. She never made special selections for lunch; whatever Cao Mo ordered, she would eat. So, she casually took the take-out bag and prepared to start.

Just then, Cao Mo peeked in, a smile she couldn't hide on her face, her tone a bit mysterious and teasing.

"Vida sis, guess who sent today's lunch?"

"It's that handsome guy from yesterday!" Cao Mo excitedly revealed, her eyes sparkling with gossip.

Ji Yun Tong, about to pick up her food, paused slightly.

"At about 12:30, he called to ask if you'd eaten yet. I told him you were still busy and hadn't had a chance to eat, so he decided to order lunch for you and even got me one." Cao Mo said, patting her stomach as she reminisced, "It actually tastes pretty good."

Her tone was light, but Ji Yun Tong didn't respond immediately. Her gaze fell on the lunchbox, and her thoughts drifted.

Bai Henan… had he really gone out of his way to order lunch for her?

She had considered that he might care about her, but such a thoughtful gesture still made it hard for her to ignore.

"Hey, Vida sis, aren't you going to eat?" Cao Mo teased, leaning closer and lowering her voice, "Is it because it was sent by him, you can't eat now?"

Ji Yun Tong came back to her senses, giving her a faint glance. Her tone was calm, "You're overthinking."

She then opened the lunchbox, and inside were the familiar dishes—nothing greasy, no cilantro, and even the soup was her preferred flavor. This wasn't a random selection; it was something only someone who was very familiar with her eating habits could have chosen.

Her chopsticks paused slightly as she unconsciously recalled the past.

Had Bai Henan always been so considerate? Or was he always this considerate, but she had never truly noticed before?

A fleeting, indescribable emotion swept through her, but she didn't dwell on it and quietly picked up the food to eat.

From a distance, Cao Mo quietly observed her expression, a mischievous smile tugging at her lips. Excited, she shook her phone and said, "Hehe, since he sent lunch, are you going to reply with a thank-you message?"

Ji Yun Tong paused for a moment, then looked up, her tone unhurried. "No need. I'll do it after I finish."

But she couldn't deny, this meal tasted somehow richer than usual.

After finishing her lunch and tidying up, she entered the studio but didn't start working right away. Instead, she picked up her phone and opened the chat with Bai Henan. His message was still there, reading, "Did you eat?"

It had been sent an hour and a half ago. She hesitated for a moment before replying:

"I've finished, thank you. How about you?"

Bai Henan's phone vibrated slightly. He opened it and saw Ji Yun Tong's reply. A faint smile tugged at his lips as his fingers quickly typed:

"Did you like it? It should be all your favorite flavors."

"I liked it, thank you." Ji Yun Tong paused, then added, "What do you like to eat? I'll make you something for dinner."

She thought of it as a reciprocal gesture, a way of responding.

Bai Henan stared at the screen for a moment, then replied:

"I'm having a dinner gathering tonight, so I'll eat out. How about tomorrow lunch? I'd love to have something you made."

"Sure, I'll make you lunch." Ji Yun Tong readily agreed, then asked, "Are you working now?"

"Yeah, I have a dinner with my boss tonight, but I'll still come to see you after."

After sending this message, Bai Henan's gaze softened unconsciously.

Ji Yun Tong saw his reply and felt her heartbeat stutter. Her finger hovered over the screen for a moment before she slowly typed:

"You've already eaten, why still come over?"

The chat bubble showed "The other person is typing," and within seconds, a message popped up—

"I need to see you twice a day, I need to recharge."

He said it so confidently, as if it were completely natural.

Ji Yun Tong stared at those words, and an involuntary warmth spread through her ears. She hastily typed a response:

"Speak like a normal person!"

The next moment, Bai Henan decisively concluded—

"That's settled, I'm going back to work now, bye."

He quickly shut his phone, almost as if afraid she would refute it.

Ji Yun Tong stared at the last message in the chat box, and for a moment, she lost her composure.

—"I need to see you twice a day, I need to recharge."

How could he say something so direct? And why did it make her feel so flustered? Why could Bai Henan always grasp her emotions so precisely, even more accurately than she could herself?

Did he really… like me?

Once this thought surfaced, it became impossible to ignore. She couldn't help but think back to that kiss—five years ago, that afternoon.

Back then, she had finally taken a break from her busy studies and work to rest for a few days. That afternoon, she was so tired she collapsed onto her bed, intending to take a short nap, but soon fell into a deep sleep. Vaguely, she heard a knock on the door, but she was too tired to respond, thinking the person would give up. But instead, the door was pushed open.

It was Bai Henan.

She didn't open her eyes because she was simply too tired, and because she had known him since childhood, she had no defenses. She thought he would just come in, say a few words, and leave.

But the next moment, a warm sensation gently landed on her lips.

Her heart skipped a beat!

Her mind went blank, and her breathing unconsciously slowed, afraid that she might reveal that she was actually awake. Fortunately, it didn't last long, and soon, he left. She waited a few seconds before slowly opening her eyes and hearing him talking to her younger sister, Ji Zhi Lin, outside the door.

That night, her heart wasn't just shocked, it was overwhelmed by an indescribable emotion. Every time she thought about that kiss, her heartbeat would involuntarily quicken, and she couldn't help but feel restless, as if her heart was being gnawed on by thousands of ants, making her feel unlike herself.

When she made a graduation gift for Bai Henan, that kiss would inevitably flash in her mind. While she worked on the gift, she couldn't help but recall it. Without realizing it, the gift was filled with emotions, and even when engraving his name, it seemed to naturally flow with those emotions.

She told herself that these feelings shouldn't exist. After all, he had always been like a younger brother to her. How could she fall for him? It must be because she had never experienced love before, never let anyone get close to her, that she felt stirred by that sudden kiss!

So, in an effort to clarify this confused emotion, she agreed to date the senior who had been pursuing her in college.

However, she quickly realized she couldn't accept the senior's closeness.

She tried to convince herself, but every time the senior tried to hold her hand or hug her, her instinct was to pull away. Even just sitting together, eating with the same pair of chopsticks, sharing the same cup, or even using the same straw made her feel unbearable, a strong sense of rejection that she couldn't ignore. And this feeling was completely different from when she was close to Bai Henan.

In the end, she repeatedly postponed the meeting on the grounds that she was "too busy at work" until three months later, when she offered to break up.